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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Aquaticism (S07E07)

"- What? I'm not surly. - Eh."
Bob's Burgers
"May I suggest gruff?"
Bob's Burgers
"Well, you're not conventionally charming, you know?"
Bob's Burgers
"Uh, I think you're charming, Bob."
Bob's Burgers
"Thank you, Teddy."
Bob's Burgers
"- That one time. - Mm."
Bob's Burgers
"I'm just saying if you wanted some help"
Bob's Burgers
"with your customer relations, I could give you some pointers."
Bob's Burgers
"Uh, I can turn on the charm if I want to, Lin."
Bob's Burgers
"I can get tips. Big tips."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay. I will."
Bob's Burgers
"All right."
Bob's Burgers
"BOB: So, how's everyone doing this afternoon,"
Bob's Burgers
"Great, thanks."
Bob's Burgers
"So, uh, the, uh, the food is good?"
Bob's Burgers
"Yes, it is... good."
Bob's Burgers
"I-I hear it was... it was windy earlier"
Bob's Burgers
"and then not so windy now."
Bob's Burgers
"Uh-huh."
Bob's Burgers
"Are you okay?"
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah. I was just leaning casually on the..."
Bob's Burgers
"I don't know where to lean."
Bob's Burgers
"I'm gonna go let you eat. I'm gonna leave now."
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, my God, that was horrible."
Bob's Burgers
"You made everyone so uncomfortable."
Bob's Burgers
"- (whispering): Everyone. - All right, I get it."
Bob's Burgers
"Luckily, I'm an expert, so you're in good hands."
Bob's Burgers
"At the aquarium. It's shutting down."
Bob's Burgers
"You mean the key chain store?"
Bob's Burgers
"It's an aquarium."
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, the little one by the ferry?"
Bob's Burgers
"Man, I haven't been there in forever."
Bob's Burgers
"No one has. That's why they can't pay their taxes."
Bob's Burgers
"Wait, aren't aquariums nonprofits?"
Bob's Burgers
"It's really a key chain store with fish."
Bob's Burgers
"And you're a body odor store with burgers."
Bob's Burgers
"- Tina! - Sorry. Sorry, Dad."
Bob's Burgers
"It's too bad they're not a church or a place of worship."
Bob's Burgers
"Then they'd be tax-exempt."
Bob's Burgers
"Wait, churches don't pay taxes?"
Bob's Burgers
"Churches don't pay taxes, but they're hard to heat,"
Bob's Burgers
"so it balances out."
Bob's Burgers
"Interesting. Right, Tina?"
Bob's Burgers
"I mean, I guess."
Bob's Burgers
"I never thought about heating costs for churches, but sure."
Bob's Burgers
"High ceilings, all those windows..."
Bob's Burgers
"(whistles)"
Bob's Burgers
"- Cooling costs? - Ugh. Just come with me."
Bob's Burgers
"LOUISE: And they walk you through it."
Bob's Burgers
"In 12 to 25 easy steps,"
Bob's Burgers
"you could become a tax-exempt place of worship."
Bob's Burgers
"The church of Aquaticism."
Bob's Burgers
"♪ Ah. ♪"
Bob's Burgers
"Make up a religion? I don't know."
Bob's Burgers
"Hey, look, I'm not much of a lyin' Brian myself,"
Bob's Burgers
"what we got to do and take it to our graves, right?"
Bob's Burgers
"So, Judy, are you in?"
Bob's Burgers
"Everybody lies on the Internet. It is not a big deal."
Bob's Burgers
"I figured that out the hard way."
Bob's Burgers
"does not mean he's Tony Danza."
Bob's Burgers
"(sighs) All right."
Bob's Burgers
"- Let's do it. - Yeah. Who's the Boss now?"
Bob's Burgers
"Wait, what are we doing?"
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, making up a religion to get out of paying taxes..."
Bob's Burgers
"this is giving me queasy knees."
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah, that's how you know you're doing the right thing."
Bob's Burgers
"- Keep going. - Okay, last question."
Bob's Burgers
"- I don't know. - All right, all right."
Bob's Burgers
"Aquaticism has been making waves and touching lives"
Bob's Burgers
"for over 30 years."
Bob's Burgers
"It's been a beacon of light for lost souls ever since"
Bob's Burgers
"our founders first put fingers to fish."
Bob's Burgers
""First put fingers to fish" and?"
Bob's Burgers
"And felt a wave of fulfillment"
Bob's Burgers
"and connection and peace"
Bob's Burgers
"And... submit."
Bob's Burgers
"Sort of surprised you didn't want to read over it again,"
Bob's Burgers
"but bing, Bam, boom."
Bob's Burgers
"Congratulations, everyone."
Bob's Burgers
"So... is this place a church now?"
Bob's Burgers
"I think we did."
Bob's Burgers
"- (computer chimes) - What do we got here?"
Bob's Burgers
"Aquaticism... All right."
Bob's Burgers
"MAN: What? Nothing."
Bob's Burgers
"That was easy. What should we do next?"
Bob's Burgers
"Manipulate the stock market?"
Bob's Burgers
"- (computer beeps) - What's this?"
Bob's Burgers
""Thank you for your application."
Bob's Burgers
""An agent will be in contact"
Bob's Burgers
"- Well played, IRS. - Oh, my God!"
Bob's Burgers
"Judy, it's a curve ball, sure, but we can do this."
Bob's Burgers
"What if we can't?"
Bob's Burgers
"We could get in serious trouble."
Bob's Burgers
"- Who's "we," grown-up? - What?"
Bob's Burgers
"Don't listen to him, even though he's right."
Bob's Burgers
"Look at me. Technically, you only"
Bob's Burgers
"You can do that, can't you?"
Bob's Burgers
"Um... Just got to"
Bob's Burgers
"give this aquarium a church-over."
Bob's Burgers
"Plus a believable Bible and a brief"
Bob's Burgers
"but compelling religious service."
Bob's Burgers
"- Wha... ? - No, no, no, no."
Bob's Burgers
"Gene and Louise and I will help."
Bob's Burgers
"We'll help every step of the way."
Bob's Burgers
"And when there's only one set of footprints,"
Bob's Burgers
"it means we stopped helping."
Bob's Burgers
"Bob, watch this; watch what I do."
Bob's Burgers
"Charm school's in session."
Bob's Burgers
"I call this the "Tiny Tap with a Hon"."
Bob's Burgers
"Three-dollar tip minimum, I guarantee it."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay. So you touch customers."
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah. And I say "hon.""
Bob's Burgers
"But it's different if I do it than if you do it."
Bob's Burgers
"What? That's sexist."
Bob's Burgers
"Try it. Try it on me."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay."
Bob's Burgers
"What? I just touched your shoulder."
Bob's Burgers
"It's like you put a wet lizard on me."
Bob's Burgers
"Do it again; do it better."
Bob's Burgers
"- Say... and say "hon." - Okay."
Bob's Burgers
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