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Clips from South Park - Tweek vs. Craig (S03E03)

"Atta boy! Now quick, get him again while he's down!"
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"- Hurray! - Now that's boxing."
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"- Is opponent ready? - I'm ready."
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"Let us begin."
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"Ready, and..."
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"Respect my authority!"
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"Body like a stone. Mind like meatloaf."
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"Oh, Jesus! I can't take it. Stop."
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"Fight back. Resist the ass!"
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"You must overcome the ass with your mind."
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"I have a surprise for you."
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"Richard!"
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"I never got to say goodbye. I never got to say goodbye!"
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"Oh, no! Oh, no! Now what do I do?"
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"Okay, that was very good, class."
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"All right, now let's try this one together."
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"Lisa Smith's husband just bought her a new car."
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"I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life."
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"Well, your cooking is unsatisfactory, your sewing skills are below average,"
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"and, frankly, I don't think the odds of you marrying a nice, rich man"
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"No. I think you should consider transferring to Shop class."
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"Now, now. Very few students are severely injured in Shop class."
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"Fight? No, no, no. Girls, haven't I taught you anything?"
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"Okay, the time has finally come."
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"Programs! Get your programs, here! Programs!"
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"Remember, Tweek, punch hard, punch low. This is when"
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"- you gotta get mean, Tweek. - Mean!"
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"The spirit of the dragon is in your hands."
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"- All right? - Okay."
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"Now, listen to me."
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"All right? I'm serious here."
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"You ready, Tweek? Ready Craig? Let's get it on!"
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"I must say goodbye to all of you, for I am all out of nicotine gum."
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"Sincerely yours, Richard Adler. Shop class."
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"Jesus Christ! What was I thinking? That would've hurt like hell!"
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"- Go, Tweek, kick his ass! - Yeah, come on, Craig!"
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"- Come on, Tweek, you got him! - Yeah!"
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"We just have to keep throwing gas on the fire."
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"What? Who are you?"
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"Well, all right. Get some safety goggles and start getting acquainted"
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"Don't screw around!"
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"Stop screwing around!"
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"Hey, you're screwing around too much!"
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"- Oh, my God, they killed Kenny. - You bastards!"
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"You see? You see what happens when you screw around in Shop class?"
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"Richard!"
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"No, no, please don't go. I need you. I can't live without you."
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"Richard, you have to move on. I want you to be happy."
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"But I can't. I never got to say goodbye."
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"Then say it now, Richard."
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"- Goodbye? - There, now do you feel better?"
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"- No. - Of course you don't."
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"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together"
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"- Richard, it's Grandma! - Grandma? Hi, Gram!"
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"No. We're dead!"
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"Baby, I feel so much better. I feel so alive."
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"Hi, we're here to visit our good friends, Tweek and Craig."
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"Oh, well, I suppose a quick visit is okay. Maybe you kids can cheer them up."
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"Hey, guys. How're you feeling?"
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"to get you guys mad at each other."
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"Yes. You can flip us off, Craig. We deserve that."
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"- What? - What?"
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"- What was on the news? - Oh! You didn't see it?"
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"Come on, Tweek, you got him!"
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"Wrong! You are here because you are America's future."
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"I don't like kids that screw around. You screw around in Shop class,"
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"- Mr. Adler? - I was just saying that I want to know,"
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"Well, you better not be, because the Shop class is..."
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"- Hey! Did you just flip me off? - No."
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"you will be learning how to bake, sew, clean and make things"
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"- Five bucks. - You're on."
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"well, I was just standing over by Tweek, and he called you a big poop-eater."
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"- I guess so. - Super. See you there."
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"Catch me, Richard."
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"I'm so in love with you, Richard."
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"They just don't know it yet."
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"- Yeah, it was wig. - I'm not a chicken."
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"Oh, nothing, except that you stick it up your ass before you go to bed."
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"I just, I can't. I know, I have genital warts."
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"Okay. So, just to set the record straight here, the fight will be happening"
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"How long do you expect the fight to last?"
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"He could be earning that degree all his life, while you starve to death"
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"Hey, quit screwing around back there. You're horsing."
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"Richard!"
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"- You just fight each other. - How?"
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"I could've been home by now!"
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"All right, Tweek, we'll teach you how to fight,"
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"Fine! That's fine."
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"What you got, biatch?"
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"There, see? You got him coughing up blood."
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"Your friend has brought you to learn the ancient art of sumo."
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"In sumo, your body must be like a stone"
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"Oh, Richard. Say we'll be this happy forever."
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"Good. Bebe, why don't you try this one?"
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"Okay. Kenny, could I talk to you over here, real quick?"
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"Kenny, I don't quite know how to tell you this,"
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"- Come on! It's time for the fight! - Yeah!"
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"Goodbye, cruel world."
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"Well, don't just stand there, call an ambulance."
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"Dude, this is pretty... right here."
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"Craig is way worse than he is."
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"I made you some cookies, Richard."
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"Outstanding. Now, Kenny, how about you try?"
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"- You son of a bitch! - I'm gonna kick your ass!"
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"No way, dude. Home Ec is for girls."
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"- Yeah, I'll bet! - How much?"
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"Tweek just weighed in at 48 pounds, Craig at 45."
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"- and your mind, like a meatloaf. - Meatloaf?"
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"Tweek, did you hear that? Craig just called you a boner."
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"Bye, Kenny."
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"while he pays for you. If he only has one credit card, beware."
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"- a long time ago. - What, she die or something?"
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"because you can marry a nice man. And that's why we have Home Ec."
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"and then it makes your breath smell like poop, and that,"
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"- You're on, fat ass. - Well, well, well, look who's here."
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"You see, a long time ago,"
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"He wanted your mother all to himself."
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"Tommy stuck his face in the belt sander."
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"You're in luck. Ned here used to be the state champion"
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"- Fine! - Fine!"
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