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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart's Dog Gets an F (S02E02)

"I'm sure it is."
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"-But prove it. -You treat me like garbage."
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"Because that's the way you love it, baby."
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"Gee, is it always this good?"
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"I don't know. I just dip in and out."
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"That dog!"
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"Mom, what will we do if the dog doesn't learn anything?"
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"I don't know."
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"There are two ways for a dog to relieve himself. One, like a friend."
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"The other, like a hose without a fireman."
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"Which way do you think that was?"
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"Like a hose, you wrinkled queen."
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"What happened here?"
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"My dog was bringing me my shoes, and they fell apart in his mouth."
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"Our warranty doesn't cover fire, theft or acts of dog."
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"Big cookie."
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"-Aloha. -Aloha."
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"-Want a free sample? -The price is right."
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"Macamademia nuts."
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"If you'd like to buy, they're $1."
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"So that's your little plan! Get us addicted, then jack up the price!"
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"Well, you win."
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"Property..."
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"...of Homer J. Simpson."
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"Hands off!"
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"Mom, I've finished my patch."
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"It depicts the two greatest musical influences in my life."
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"On the left is Mr. Largo, my music teacher."
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"He taught that the noblest concerto can be drained of its beauty."
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"On the right is Bleeding Gums Murphy."
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"He taught me that music is a fire that comes out your mouth."
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"So you better stick an instrument in front of it. And look."
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"I want you to see what your sick little girl did."
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"My quilt! Six generations, ruined!"
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"Now, Marge, honey..."
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"...come on, don't get upset."
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"It's not the end of the world. We all loved that quilt."
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"But you can't get too attached to--"
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"My cookie!"
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"This is not happening!"
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"We're having a family meeting!"
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"We never did this before."
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"-What are you saying? -I'm saying--"
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"No! You can't give my dog away!"
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"I'll set fire to my hair, rip my clothes!"
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"I've suffered at the paws of this dog..."
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"...but when I look into his vacant eyes, I can't bear to let him go."
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"I'm sure Mom agrees with me."
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"No, I'm afraid I agree with your father."
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"You do?"
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"Please. It's not just the quilt. He's nice, but he chews everything."
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"He's not even housebroken."
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"We've spent money on training, with no improvement."
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"All right. If he studies hard, passes finals, and becomes a perfect dog..."
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"-...can we keep him? -No!"
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"-Dad! -Dad! This is our pet."
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"We can question his disposition, but we can't question his heart."
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"Is the way to solve a problem with something you love to throw it away?"
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"If they're ever going to pull the plug on me, I want you in my corner."
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"All right. If he passes, we can keep him."
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"All right!"
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"Roll over."
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"Congratulations, you've earned a toffee."
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"Thank you. You moldy old maid."
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"Can't we place this ad after the dog fails his test?"
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"No, we have to commit to it."
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"Now take this down: Free to loving home, world's smartest dog."
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"Says "I love you" on command."
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"Type."
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"Now, sit!"
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"I said, sit!"
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"Take a walk. Sniff that other dog's butt."
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"See? He does exactly what I say."
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"We'd never give him away, but we're moving, and dogs are forbidden."
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"Hear what? Oh, sure."
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"Say "I love you" for the nice man."
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"Good dog! Isn't that amazing? See you soon."
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"You think your dogs know the "stay" command."
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"Let's see if they can stay away from this beef Wellington."
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"Now, stay."
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"Stay, boy! Stay!"
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"Stay!"
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"Impatient people think that, patient people know better."
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"You can take him tomorrow."
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"Miss Winthrop, I was thinking."
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"-Oh, dear. -Since you get paid either way..."
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"...would it be a big deal to just let my dog pass?"
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"I see. Rubber stamp, thank you, next in line. Is that it?"
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"-Yeah. -Heavens to murgatroid."
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"Perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well-chewed shoe..."
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"...as the traditions I was weaned on are put to sleep, one by one."
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"But my time has not passed yet!"
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"We do not need another college graduate who doesn't know how to sit!"
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"He'll sit!"
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"Pull the chain!"
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"-I don't want to strangle my dog. -Pull the bloody chain, boy!"
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"-What are you doing? -Sewing a new quilt."
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"It's one thing to be a link in a chain. It's another to start one."
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"This patch commemorates the destruction of the old quilt."
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"Come on, boy. Sit!"
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"Don't spend your last hours together tormenting him."
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"Have some fun. Frolic with him."
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"Go get it, boy!"
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"I'm gonna miss you, boy."
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"I thought we'd be pals forever."
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"But we have to say goodbye because you don't understand a word I say."
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"If you knew how to learn--"
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"Sit."
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"Wait a minute, you did it!"
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"Lay down."
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"Speak!"
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"All right! Good boy!"
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"Roll over."
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"You son of a bitch! Good show!"
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"All right!"
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"-"
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"Bart's Dog Gets An F"
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"No! No!"
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"Bad dog! Let go!"
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"Bad Santa's Little Helper! Stop!"
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