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Clips from 30 Rock - The Funcooker (S03E03)

"was a female bike messenger."
30 Rock
"So I am asking all of you for the next 12 to 14 hours"
30 Rock
"to just be cool. Let's have a normal day."
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"They still have the heat set for winter, and my office is boiling."
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"Please make me a dentist appointment today."
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"What? No! I'm registered in Illinois."
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"What's wrong? You told me to be more proactive."
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"I told you to buy more Proactiv!"
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"Mr. Donaghy wants to see you now about what Jenna and Tracy did"
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"Was it something good?"
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"Have a seat. It was very simple."
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"I asked you two to host NBC's coverage of St. Patrick's Day parade."
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"Read the cue cards. Promote the show. So would you explain to Mr. O'Cannon"
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"I'm currently shooting a feature film inspired by,"
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"but, for legal reasons, not based on Janis Joplin."
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"But, between the movie at night and working here during the day,"
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"I am so exhausted."
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"So when I got to the parade..."
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"You and this gravy face have slarneyed up"
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"Here comes the County Cork steppers."
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"Their traditional dance celebrates the spirit"
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"and the ingenuity of the Irish people."
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"You're a disgrace."
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"The FCC disagrees. They've decided to make an example of you"
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"- and fine you personally $50,000. - 50 grand?"
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"Can anyone cut this in half?"
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"Look at you! I told you. You're spreading yourself too thin."
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"I don't mean quit, Liz will find a way to make both work."
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"Am I right?"
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"There's 2 guys in my gym named Oscar."
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"You're a wreck."
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"That's a glue stick."
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"OK, great meeting."
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"Microwaves is announcing a very big project"
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"or, should I say, very little?"
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"You can buy it on Friday along with everyone else."
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"since I was forced to do that dance marathon in Dubai."
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"I can give you these pamphlets on stress"
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"But they're all gonna tell you that you need to give something up."
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"And they're wrong."
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"My lab work is in the field of sleep research."
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"Mostly because I checked the wrong box on a form once."
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"that keeps people awake under any circumstances."
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"It's being funded by the U.S. Military and the WNBA."
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"- But we're looking for human subjects. - Where do I sign up?"
30 Rock
"Please, we don't want a paper trail."
30 Rock
"Take 25 of these a day for the rest of your life."
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"I am going to jury duty, but I will be right back."
30 Rock
"I got my princess Leia outfit,"
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"They will dismiss me immediately as a weirdo."
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"- Who's in charge while you're gone? - Let's see."
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"so no one."
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"No one here is in charge in any way."
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"If no one's in charge,"
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"You guys are my best friends."
30 Rock
"I hope you've learned a lesson from this."
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"I can even say what Ernest Borgnine whispered to me at..."
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"Now I'm off to appear on Martha Stewart live."
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"It's gonna be raunchy."
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"I'm in the clinical trial for a military-grade anti-sleeping pill."
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"Come on, guys. I just have to go and get out of jury duty,"
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"and we can talk about all of this when I get back."
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"I thought you left."
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"Listen to me."
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"Just be normal sauce for like two hours."
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"Charles what now?"
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"Can we get lunch from McDonald's?"
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"I've spent the better part of last 3 years developing"
30 Rock
"with a hip name for the product,"
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"college students, morbidly obese, and homosexuals."
30 Rock
"The Bitenuker, is highly offensive to those"
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"who speak French or Dutch."
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"A Franco-Dutchman would pronounce it "Bet Nyuker"."
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"Zat's awful."
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"I'm sorry, Miss Laroche-Van Der Hoot."
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"We're in danger of losing the European market."
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"Everyone here needs to brainstorm new names."
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"Starting today, you are all members of the Microwave Division."
30 Rock
"Remember, this isn't TGS, guys."
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"Let's not shoot to the middle this time."
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"Absolutely not."
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"Couple of weeks, probably."
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"You can drop the voice."
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"Studio 6H."
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"- It's Liz. - Where are you?"
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"Mr. Jordan cursed at Martha Stewart,"
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"Miss Maroney drank all the water out of the toilets."
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"And I keep starting to sneeze, but nothing comes out."
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"What? Does anyone there listen to me?"
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"It's not my fault. You didn't put anyone in charge."
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"I've been put on a jury."
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"Attention, everyone."
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"The TV guide crossword puzzle."
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"Give me your hand."
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"Now look into my eyes."
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"You're back."
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"- Where is everybody? - They're all dead."
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"So who's writing the show?"
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"How hard can it be? "Hey, I'm rapping Obama.""
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""Welcome to another episode of robot/bear talk show.""
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"I'm Josh doing an impression of De Niro as an auctioneer."
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""Do I hear $1,000? Do I hear $1,000?""
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"You'll be done in an hour."
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"The Small Wonder. The Micromate. The Porta-Hotty."
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"How? That guy's got enough money to pay FCC fines for the next 200 years."
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"Your problem is your advertisers are pulling out."
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"- My god. With no ads... - No ads, no TGS."
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"No TGS..."
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"Just catching up on some work."
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"Here you go. Everything's OK."
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"No, just because you have money doesn't mean you can say"
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"whatever *** thing that you want."
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"This has gotten bigger than you just paying fines."
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"Our sponsors are pulling out because of you."
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"Think about how you're hurting the crew."
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"I don't want to hurt the crew. I love the crew."
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"All we do is joke around together"
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"about our stupid boss, Liz Lem..."
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"Anyway, unless you know"
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"an advertiser that really wants to be associated with this,"
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