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Clips from The Simpsons - I Won't Be Home for Christmas (S26E26)

"You are about to see the worst half-hour"
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"Oh, it's as bad as I remembered,"
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"Horrible, yet enthralling."
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"See you soon."
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"by three spirits tonight."
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"Smithers, We need to cancel the 10:30 spirit."
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"Martinez swings and misses."
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"was overturned in the sequel."
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"Hey, um, you gonna be okay?"
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"Oh, yeah, yeah."
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"Super!"
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"Okay, okay. I'll stay for one beer."
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"Look, I'm wrapped around your leg here!"
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"Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man!"
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"We do not want to set a precedent"
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"I'm happy on Christmas Eve."
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"And for once it's not 'cause some drunk"
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"left a wallet on his stool."
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"Uh-oh, this is starting to hurt."
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"I'm gonna set the clock in the bar to the correct time."
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"Hey, what the..."
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"I am so late!"
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"Whoa, whoa. It's the night before Christmas!"
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"If you do it now, you won't have to watch the Super Bowl."
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"much less my husband,"
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"Yeah? Well, good luck"
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"She'll forgive me."
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"he's got a lot of thinking to do."
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"I miss Marge."
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"Moe, what are you doing?"
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"♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪"
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"Voice too poor for karaoke."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"no cell phone made after 2002."
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"Nog stands for"
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"D'oh!"
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"Give me another one."
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"D'oh! Give me another one."
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"D'oh!"
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"Welcome to Bring Us Your Toilet Paper night."
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"Don't worry, none goes to Willie."
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"My pee is starting to smell like a ski chalet."
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"Tell me the story of jazz again."
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"to put up the lights?"
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"I'll help you, kid."
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"that's the kind of thing families never recover from."
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"Lisa, sweetie, I'm tired of being a pushover."
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"You're not a pushover."
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"me, Mr. Party Pants."
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"So, uh, so don't hold it against Homer, eh?"
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"Oh, my poor Homie."
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"but it was Christmas, and we were under the mistletoe."
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"Let's go find your father."
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"...with advanced Alzheimer's."
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"And a Merry Christmas to you, sir."
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"This is my family."
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"Oh, Homer, unto us this day, a neighbor is born."
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"But why?"
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"You came!"
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"Let's brew some weak tea and talk about the good ol' days!"
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"Not a dream."
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"I work at the mall."
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"And it's closed, so scram."
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"All right, listen, pal, uh..."
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"Halloween merchandise goes on sale December 26, man."
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"Lady, buy a sign or go home."
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"I'm trying to find my husband, and nothing's open."
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"Where is this party?!"
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"Mm, load-bearing wall."
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"And the present is that I'm not gonna always assume"
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"You didn't have to do that."
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"You have all taught me a Christmas message"
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"the place to get drunk is at home."
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"Bart, you know you can't open a present"
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"Oops, my finger slipped."
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"I got a chemistry set."
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"Uh, don't you mean "Happy Birthday"?"
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"I mean, you."
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"Shh!"
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"Ay, caramba!"
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"Carrot."
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"of television ever."
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"All righty then."
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"May the sauce be with you."
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"You have every right to be furious."
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"and I haven't watched it since yesterday."
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"Hooray!"
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"Phew."
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"Oh."
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"I'll be right home, honey."
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"Tight as a drum."
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"Bart, hold the ladder still!"
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"Mr. Scrooge!"
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"Time for your holiday gift. Ooh!"
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"In your name, a donation has been made..."
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"Also, you will be visited"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Heading home, baby."
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"Nothing's gonna stop me now."
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"Maybe a drink"
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"will help me with my driving."
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"♪ Ah! ♪"
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"...and the baseball exclaimed"
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"as it flew out of sight,"
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"this ballpark is shorter in left field than right."
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"Yes! I'm recording this during a game."
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"Since the United States government"
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"declares this man to be Santa Claus,"
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"this court will not dispute it."
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"Few people know that verdict"
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"I better be heading home to my family."
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"Enjoy your evening with your wonderful..."
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"uh... neon sign."
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"Yeah, last year I broke it just so the repairman would come."
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"But I'll be fine."
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"It's just that..."
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"of her bolting for the parking lot."
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"Oh, great, great. But don't do it out of pity."
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"Please! Please! Please!"
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"But I promised Marge."
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