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Clips from South Park - Damien (S01E01)

"- You bet! - That was a good episode."
South Park
"It's about good and evil and being the new kid in school."
South Park
"Because this episode has Jesus and Satan..."
South Park
"Wow. You said a mouthful."
South Park
"Let's tell Indian Companion to go away."
South Park
"Here you go, Kyle. Here's yours, Stan."
South Park
"- That's right. - Lf my mom could cook like her..."
South Park
"...I'd be a big fat-ass too. - That's ri... Hey!"
South Park
"...put it in an envelope and shoved it right up my ass..."
South Park
"...ruining any chance you had of coming to my party. Sorry, old chap."
South Park
"Some of you know what it's like to be the new kid."
South Park
"So take special care to make him feel welcome."
South Park
"- Where are you from? - The Seventh Layer of Hell."
South Park
"Take your seat."
South Park
"Psych! I wasn't gonna give you an invitation."
South Park
"Hey, who cut your hair, Stevie Wonder?"
South Park
"You got in trouble. You got in trouble."
South Park
"Cartman, how come my invitation..."
South Park
"Green Mega Man goes with Red and Yellow..."
South Park
"You need all three or it won't work."
South Park
"Maybe you don't want any of my mom's cake, pie and ice cream, then."
South Park
"That's because Yellow Mega Man is the cheapest and your family's poor."
South Park
"Go find another table, new kid."
South Park
"Hey, new kid."
South Park
"- He made Kenny a duck-billed platypus! - A what?"
South Park
"- Why bad? - The new kid's a total weirdo freak."
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"- What were we talking about? - The new kid."
South Park
"- Whoa! - That is one fudged-up little cracker."
South Park
"He's tearing my cafeteria apart."
South Park
"There's a big problem. Some new kid showed up..."
South Park
"He keeps throwing things around..."
South Park
"- The Dark Prince? - Yeah."
South Park
"...so mine eyes can confirm the wretched truth."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Wendy, you were supposed to get me the Mega Power Chopper."
South Park
"Our slide!"
South Park
"So it is thou. Son of Lucifer!"
South Park
"Let him come. I shall stop him."
South Park
"It's that guy from the public access show."
South Park
"- What's happening? - Come over here if you're scared."
South Park
"I'll protect you. Not you, damn it!"
South Park
"Be here at this time tomorrow to discuss the terms."
South Park
"Come on, Ned. Let's get to the bookie!"
South Park
"Who will win? Jesus or the Prince of Darkness?"
South Park
"The final battle between good and evil, only on pay-per-view."
South Park
"We can't miss the apocalyptic battle."
South Park
"Guys, my mom's getting a Ferris wheel."
South Park
"- Don't mind him. He's Jewish. - Oh."
South Park
"...but I don't think you understand."
South Park
"Holy poop on a stick!"
South Park
"Holy crap, dude. Satan is huge!"
South Park
"- Oh. Oh, yeah? - Damn!"
South Park
"Oh, yeah?"
South Park
"Oh, crap."
South Park
"Let the new prince be decided on Saturday."
South Park
"First South Park, then the world."
South Park
"- I think I left the oven on. - I think I left your oven on too."
South Park
"- I want to change my bet to Satan. - Me too."
South Park
"...I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, okay?"
South Park
"Being new can be tough. But I'm your friend, m'kay?"
South Park
"Thanks for burning everything, you little bitch."
South Park
"I apologize for that and turning your friend into a platypus."
South Park
"You smell like a fart, new kid."
South Park
"In fact, it seems that only one person is still betting on me."
South Park
"Oh, right, well. He has a few hundred pounds on you, Jesus."
South Park
"...and change my bet right now. - Yeah, me too."
South Park
"Praise the lord!"
South Park
"You're all a bunch of Judases."
South Park
"Oh. Kids, you believe I can beat Satan, right?"
South Park
"Satan, what will the outcome of the fight be?"
South Park
"I will crush him like a little bug."
South Park
"Let's focus on the fight. I'm sick of these rumors about my fighters."
South Park
"I can't hit Jesus Christ. My mother would never speak to me again."
South Park
"- What have I done? - Anybody get the number of that truck?"
South Park
"Welcome, Clyde. Presents on the table to your left."
South Park
"Welcome, Bebe. Presents go to your left."
South Park
"That's my favorite kind of chili."
South Park
"- I guess all the kids are at that party. - It's always a huge event."
South Park
"In the blue corner, wearing white trunks..."
South Park
"And in the very, very black corner..."
South Park
"...wearing very, very black trunks..."
South Park
"...the king of all that is evil..."
South Park
"Ladies and gentlemen..."
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"- What are you doing here? - You weren't invited, new kid."
South Park
"- Neither were you, Pip. - I tried to tell Damien, but..."
South Park
"Throw a punch."
South Park
"I wonder what Stan got me for my birthday."
South Park
"Have some pie, cake and ice cream."
South Park
"Oh, look what Kyle got me. It's a Red..."
South Park
"I told you Red Mega Man! Now I can't make Ultra Mega Mega Man."
South Park
"That's it! Party is over!"
South Park
"- That kid has real emotional problems. - He does this all the time."
South Park
"Fight, damn it."
South Park
"Someone bet on you. One person still has money on you."
South Park
"Snap out of it, Jesus!"
South Park
"When it looked the darkest, she fought to be the best."
South Park
"- She wouldn't stop until she won. - Stan?"
South Park
"- She wanted the gold. - Stan!"
South Park
"- What?! - She got silver, dude."
South Park
"- Was that in the Bible? - I saw it on Star Trek."
South Park
"Come on, sissy. Hit me. Hit me!"
South Park
"Okay, pal. You asked for it."
South Park
"You're out!"
South Park
"Our savior!"
South Park
"- Hey, he isn't hurt. He threw the fight! - Yeah!"
South Park
"Fools. You are all fools."
South Park
"Of course I took a dive. Don't you see?"
South Park
"- I don't believe this! - What a mean thing to do."
South Park
"That guy is a jerk."
South Park
"- Jesus told you not to bet on Satan. - Boy, did we get screwed."
South Park
"Jesus, we're sorry. Can you ever forgive us?"
South Park
"Well, Jesus, I definitely learned my lesson."
South Park
"- Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! - You bastard!"
South Park
"More pie, hon?"
South Park
"That was a hoot and a holler. Did you like that?"
South Park
"But this next one, "Damien," is our favorite."
South Park
"That's right, South Parketeers. Being the new kid can be hard."
South Park
"Matt and I know because we used to beat the crap out of the new kids."
South Park
"...we got a lot of complaints from religious groups."
South Park
"They said we were "blasphemous" and "sacrilegious.""
South Park
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