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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Launch Acceleration (S05E05)

"- Howard Wolowitz. - Hey."
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"Uh-huh, heh."
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"Yes! Thank you!"
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"In my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami."
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"- Why don't you slip this on? - Said the hangman offering a noose."
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"I am officially "no go" to space."
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"Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us brave enough..."
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"You must be burning up."
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"Uh, where's he going?"
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"For the record, not your worst opening line."
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"- Just try it. - Okay."
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"what's it supposed to...? Oh, my God, that is so freaky."
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"I have never been more attracted to a woman..."
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"...I got a Cookie Monster tattoo."
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"What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time..."
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"...to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?"
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"With our friends moving forward in relationships..."
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"Two years ago, we didn't even know each other..."
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"Oh, heh, you brain-monkeys kill me. Dip away."
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"And that's called school."
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"It's my favorite pink fluid..."
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"- I'm sorry, just give me another chance. - So you can crawl under covers and go:"
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"Again, I'm sorry. With Howard and Bernadette getting married..."
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"...I got caught up in a little wedding fever."
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"- It's not funny. - Just give it a minute."
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"Okay, talk soon."
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"What's so great?"
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"A week from Friday."
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"...to increase my feelings for her by making me happy."
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"But she was nuts. So in a way..."
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"I made a commitment to Bernadette and to your family..."
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"No, you may not. Let me tell you something."
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"Oh, I am. And just so you know I'd still be an astronaut..."
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"I'm terrified about going into space."
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"- You really think so? - Of course."
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"- Have a nice night. - Okay, you too."
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"Hello, Leonard."
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"I'm in hell, Leonard."
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"Dave Roeger, here, at NASA. We need to talk about your upcoming mission."
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"Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups."
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"I'm still stuck at nine, but..."
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"That's going all the way down with no one holding me, heh."
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"That's great, uh, but that's not why I called."
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"We've run into a bit of a snafu."
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"Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test..."
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"...so bottom line, the mission's been scrubbed."
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"You're kidding. So, what does that mean?"
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"Uh-huh."
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"Boy, I gotta tell you, I'm really disappointed."
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"This was my dream ever since I was a little kid."
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"Okay, uh... Thanks for the call."
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"Yeah, you too."
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"Oh, I'm not gonna die in space!"
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"Phew, I'm gonna die the way God intended."
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"I'm going to need a larger shirt."
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"This one's a little tight under the arms."
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"Okay."
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"Maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?"
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"Yes, of course that's why it's tight."
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"Let me rephrase the question."
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"- Why are you wearing long underwear? - You're kidding."
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"Shouldn't the question be, why aren't you?"
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"No, it should be, why are you?"
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"Leonard, these rental tuxedos..."
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"...have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers."
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"I don't like my own sweat touching my skin."
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"How do you think I feel about theirs?"
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"Heh, well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes..."
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"...but it was right up there."
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"Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded."
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"I'm sorry, Howard, but I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going."
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"- Why? - Come on."
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"You were gonna go in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians."
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"Yeah, so?"
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"When was the last time you heard someone say:"
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""Ooh, check out this Blu-ray player. It must be good, it was built in Russia"?"
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"Well, their technology isn't that bad."
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"When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall from space..."
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"...at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down..."
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"...is a parachute that pops out before you crash into the ground."
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"...who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle."
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"All right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried."
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"You weren't?"
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"Okay, let me explain the difference between you and me."
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"You watch Star Trek, I live it."
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"Oh, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek..."
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"...where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store."
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"...to almost do what I almost did."
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"Ah, much better."
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"A little. But not more than your urethrae will be..."
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"...after whatever's in those pants swims up them."
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"Well, I cut quite the dashing yet hygienic figure, don't I?"
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"I look like the Flash about to get married."
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"Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!"
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"He keeps emergency Purell in the car."
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"Keys. Keys. Keys."
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"...I have gas."
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"Check it out. It's the gas I use in my laser to support high voltages."
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"But it also has an interesting secondary use."
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"Here. Breathe this in."
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"But before I do it, if you're a cop, you have to tell me, right?"
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"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch."
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"Again. Me, me. Okay."
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"Leonard, I am your father."
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"- ...who sounds like a man in my life. - Aw, heh."
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"Mm."
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"Hey, you know how we've been taking things slow?"
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"Mm-hm."
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"Well, I've been thinking..."
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"...and maybe I'm ready to take things a little faster."
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"- Oh, great. - Mm-hm."
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"And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you're gonna get."
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"Just... Just one thing. We're in a great place right now."
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"I don't wanna do anything that will make stuff weird again."
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"- So we won't let it get weird. - Okay."
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"Oh, just a heads up. Mm. Since the last time you saw me naked..."
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"The acceptable responses when you see it are "awesome" or nothing."
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"What about..."
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"...cookies."
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"Amy. Amy. Amy"
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