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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Parents Just Don't Understand (S05E05)

""Bother"! Now get off the phone!"
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"- [PHONE DIALING] - Oh, God."
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"- Hello?! - Hello?"
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"- Hello? - Adam?"
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"Hi, Mrs. Geary, is Jackie there?"
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"It's Erica, dorkus."
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"Why are you at Geoff's house, too?"
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"- Geoff's house? - Yeah, my house!"
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"Go do nerd stuff at your house, Adam!"
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"I'm panicking."
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"Keep cool and ask the questions."
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"Uh, how deep are you going"
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"with your Q-tips when you clean your ears?"
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"- Just tell me right now! - Pretty deep, bro."
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"- Not you! - Just stop, Geoff."
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"I know you're in my kitchen with my mom."
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"No! No."
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"I'm just, uh, here at the Schwartzes',"
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"having tea with Linda. Yeah."
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"Our... Our lines must've gotten crossed."
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"Mom, don't ever call me again!"
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"- Bye, Geoff. - B-B-Bye, baby."
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"Well, Geoff, you really screwed the pooch on this."
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"You know, that cello actually belongs to the school."
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"Gentlemen of the JTP."
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"ALL: JTP."
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"Thank you for joining us for what will be"
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"the most important musical event of your lives."
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"Better than when we saw the greatest"
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"bands in the world play Live Aid?"
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"1,000%."
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"- I literally stake Adam's life on it. - Wait, what?"
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"[RAPPING] ♪ Now, here's a little story about our dad ♪"
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"♪ He calls us morons when he gets real mad ♪"
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"♪ He doesn't wear pants, and he sits in a chair ♪"
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"♪ You know what I'm sayin'? ♪"
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"♪ Dads just don't care ♪"
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"♪ Oh-kay, here's the situation ♪"
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"♪ Our dad has a problem with flatulation ♪"
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"♪ He doesn't care about anything, for real ♪"
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"♪ I got an "A" on a test, and he said, "Big deal" ♪"
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"♪ He has no worries, he has no fears ♪"
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"♪ He hasn't seen a doctor in 15 years ♪"
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"♪ If we come to our dad and we need to cry ♪"
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"♪ He says, "You're ruining this episode of 'Magnum, P.I.' ♪"
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"♪ Can't you see I'm busy and don't wanna be bothered? ♪"
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"♪ Sometimes I ask God why he made me a father ♪"
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"♪ Now leave me alone and go upstairs" ♪"
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"♪ You know what I'm sayin'? Dads just don't care ♪"
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"♪ If you don't know our dad, hey, don't worry ♪"
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"♪ Last name Goldberg, first name Murray ♪"
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"♪ Most dads play catch and throw around a ball ♪"
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"♪ But our dad doesn't care about his kids at all ♪"
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"[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS]"
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"♪ M to the G berg! What a failure! ♪"
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"Adam! Look! We blew them away!"
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"Dude, I got to be honest."
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"This song is very mean and hurtful."
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"Yeah. I-I think what happened here is"
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"you two were egging each other on in a vacuum"
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"and lost all perspective."
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"But the good news is,"
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"you were smart enough to run it by us first."
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"That would have been smart,"
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"if we hadn't already given our dad a copy."
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"Yes. That is what we did."
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"What the hell is this?"
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"D... Hey, look who's watched"
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"- a copy of our latest work in progress! - [CHUCKLES]"
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"You guys think I'm a bad dad?"
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"Not you specifically."
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"The song's called "Dads Just Don't Care"... all dads."
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"You say my first and last name."
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"You're literally shoving me into the garbage."
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"True, true. We did do that."
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"Come on, it's just a goof."
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"We bust balls, we have fun. You get it."
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"Ha. I get it."
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"And you know what? Go [Bleep] yourself."
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"ALL: Whoa!"
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"You guys think I nap because I'm lazy?"
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"No. I nap because I work my [Bleep] fingers to the bone"
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"so you little [Bleep] can have"
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"your dumb [Bleep] tennis shoes"
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"and your expensive [Bleep] cameras."
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"Uh... I feel like we should go."
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"No, you little [Bleep] need to hear this."
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"That day, my dad did the one thing"
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"every parent wishes they could do."
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"He called his kids out"
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"for being spoiled and ungrateful,"
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"pulling no punches and speaking from the heart."
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"For my dad, it was a taste of glory."
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"And if you remember one thing from this conversation,"
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"let it be this..."
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"Hee-haw-hmm!"
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"It seems Dad cares a tad more than we thought."
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"Yeah."
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"I kind of feel we should cut his name from the song."
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"Erica may have hung up on my mom forever,"
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"but little did she know,"
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"Beverly Goldberg always stays on the line."
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"Okay, we've got the party ball, the Solo cups, the black lights."
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"- Now we just need a theme. - It's our first major rager,"
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"so we got to go, like, stupid big"
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"so the campus knows we mean business."
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"So, I was thinking "King Tuts and Egyptian Sluts.""
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"Delta Fi just did "King Tuts and Egyptian Butts.""
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"Wait, I got it."
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""Girls Just Wanna Drink Rum.""
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"Oh, my God."
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"I have, like, the best Cyndi Lauper dress ever."
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"BEVERLY: Srini? I can't hear what she's saying?"
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"- [CHUCKLES] - Get me closer!"
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"Is someone, like, spying on us?"
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"Stay here and don't speak."
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"_"
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"__"
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"_"
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"__"
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