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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Pregnancy Test (S04E04)

"If you give me $50 bucks I'll stand outside,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and tell people you're on lunch."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- and never come back! - You see,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Desperate times, huh? - No, trying times,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's just that there's a lot of people at the motel,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and Patrick is renting a room from Ray."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Who really likes to chat. - Yeah."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So there has literally been zero privacy."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"my apartment for the night."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Why? Why would you do that?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because I care about you two."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, and where will you be?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, if you must know, work's been really stressful,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so I'm going to take a little me time at a spa in Elmdale."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"That is super generous,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but wouldn't be a little bit weird"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"us having alone time at your place?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Especially because you guys have..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Oh God no! No, we've never... - No, never, ew!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- We've never done that there. - Never. I still live there."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I mean, we could consider it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What exactly is the catch?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- David! - What?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Great, and I'll take this."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So there's a bit of a catch."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- You know, Moira, it's not as bad as I thought. - Mmm..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"If David sells the store, and uh..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and you get some part time work,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and we get a good price for the car,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I think we can make it through the first two years easy,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and then we just have to figure out preschool."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"John, as much as I appreciate your budgetary prowess,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, now we're all taking this a little too lightly."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Alexis isn't the one who's pregnant."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Someone else is, but don't press me for details,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"because I've been sworn to secrecy."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- You've been sworn... - It's Jocelyn!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"She hasn't told Roland yet."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Jocelyn! - Huh?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"She was appropriately gobsmacked herself."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And I must say, I am entirely relieved."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, that's it's not Alexis!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and you might want to add a line item for prophylactics."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Tomorrow's another day. - Yeah, well, don't worry,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I've already had a serious talk with Alexis,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"though now I'm wondering what exactly..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"we were talking about."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, hey, excuse me,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's in there."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, I'm just like, a little bit confused,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"because on the brochure it looks like"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"it's in a moss covered building by the lake."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"on the other side of the building?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"The office is in there, make a right."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"A 100%."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Okay, hi. Hi! - Hmm, what's up?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I am what this brochure calls a prospective student."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Cool, so you're not enrolled yet?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No, I am enrolled, um, prospectively."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I was wondering if there's like, a campus tour,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- or something? - Wow..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"well, it wouldn't be much of a tour, but..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"yeah, I guess I could walk you back up the hall,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"if you want."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, it's just that this brochure is like,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"a little bit confusing."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so we just used stock images. See? Watermark there."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"This is actually a still"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"from "Dead Poets Society.""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I feel like that's false advertising,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"especially considering what I am paying for these courses."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, but you get free coffee and doughnuts."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, it's off by a day."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So... I wouldn't use it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay great, I would like a refund, please."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, then I guess I would just like my money back, then."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Again, we don't give refunds. - Okay, okay."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"This is the first time that I've ever invested"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"in anything myself, and I thought that was like,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"the responsible choice, but clearly,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"this is like, a joke school."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, that's why most students do their courses online."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh. So like, potentially,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I could refund my refund request,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"do all my courses online, and like,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"never have to ever come back here again?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"That's actually how I keep my side hustle going,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"part time DJ."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Here's my card, in case you have any problems,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"or you wanna go on a date, or something."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay. Well, I won't be doing any of that,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but thank you so much."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ooh!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Please, come in, come in."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Ooh. - Welcome."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, and I marked the booze, so I'll know if you touch it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I noticed the line is a couple inches above where the whiskey starts."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I am stunned by your generosity."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, where exactly are you going tonight?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Out to a spa."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Which she already told us, so maybe just say thank you."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh no, I did, I did say thank you multiple times."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, what is the name of the spa?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, yeah."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Are we expecting company, or? - N-no, I wasn't!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hey, pony! Are you ready to go?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What are you doing? I said I would meet you outside!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I said I'd help you with your bags."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"David. Wow, it's been a while."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Pony. - Hey..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Mm-mmm! Ahem! - Wow, you look good."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Who's this guy?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- This is my... that's... - Patrick."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- That's Patrick. - And you are?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So I'm not getting a name, then."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, so you and "pony,""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"what do you have planned for tonight?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, it's date night, so we thought maybe"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"we'd spend it in the woods."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, just galloping around the woods, huh?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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