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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Canning Randy (S06E06)

"And as we all remember..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Randy has a unique condition."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, God. This happens every time I get an erection."
How I Met Your Mother
"I am so sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"exactly what happened."
How I Met Your Mother
"See, Marshall?"
How I Met Your Mother
"If getting fired is an execution, at least the guy had a last meal."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh, my God. - I promise you, tomorrow you'll feel a lot better."
How I Met Your Mother
"Randy. Hey, what's goin' on?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I just wanted to say no hard feelings."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs] Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother
"So where are you headed now?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Downtown."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whirring]"
How I Met Your Mother
"No!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Gasps] - It's okay, baby."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] It wasn't okay, so the next morning..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I fired Randy yesterday. - That was a mistake."
How I Met Your Mother
"You should have fired him a year ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"No. Sir, that is what's wrong with this company."
How I Met Your Mother
"How can we say GNB cares..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and then turn around and treat someone like that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes, but everybody makes mistakes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Like-Like, Tugboat here. Awww."
How I Met Your Mother
"I bet you he's made some mistakes..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and you didn't fire Tugboat, did you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down."
How I Met Your Mother
"Exactly. Kind of."
How I Met Your Mother
"Randy doesn't need to be fired. He needs to be fixed."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, we do some pretty bad things around here, but I don't..."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, sir. I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone when they screw up..."
How I Met Your Mother
"we should... we should help them."
How I Met Your Mother
"We should nurture them. Hmm?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I changed the ice pack on his crotch every hour for three days."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow. Eriksen, if you want to un-fire Randy, I support you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Because to come in here and say what you just said..."
How I Met Your Mother
"well, you... you got a couple things that Tugboat doesn't."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Students Shouting]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- and all you could say was "boo-freakin'-hoo"? - Boo-f..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I may have mentioned our conversation over a session of hacky sack."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why'd you miss? Too busy tearing down the Statue of Liberty?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Shouting]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] They were all turning against me..."
How I Met Your Mother
"so I figured, what the hell."
How I Met Your Mother
"[High Voice] Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Woo-woo!"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Low Voice] Woo-woo-woo!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Woo-wooo! Woo-wooo! Woo-wooo!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop!"
How I Met Your Mother
"And... did it work?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Gangbusters. We're buddies again."
How I Met Your Mother
"After class, we hacked a little sack to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD."
How I Met Your Mother
"And, no, none of them had heard the Pixies' B-side."
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies... or a B-side."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey, guys. - Uh-oh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, there's no easy way to say this. Marshall's dead."
How I Met Your Mother
"No. I know why Randy is smiling."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're smiling because of Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin? Like, how I think about her when I'm in the shower?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm tryin' to eat here, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother
"No. Because you slept with her on Halloween."
How I Met Your Mother
"What? No."
How I Met Your Mother
"I went home, had a shower and went to bed."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You didn't sleep with her? - No."
How I Met Your Mother
"Even in the shower, the farthest we ever get is hugging."
How I Met Your Mother
"So why are you smiling?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll tell you why."
How I Met Your Mother
"This just isn't working out."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Thinking] I'm fired. Great."
How I Met Your Mother
"This is the Candle Kiosk at the mall all over again."
How I Met Your Mother
"I get a severance check."
How I Met Your Mother
"Imagine a beer with my name on it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Randy Wharmpess, this is the best day of your life."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thanks to that severance check..."
How I Met Your Mother
"this time next year, you'll all be enjoying a frothy mug of Wharmpess."
How I Met Your Mother
"Randy, great news."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're not fired."
How I Met Your Mother
"No!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Good morning, everybody."
How I Met Your Mother
"Where's my class?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Crowd Booing]"
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"Hello, Professor."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ha! Burn."
How I Met Your Mother
"I got you your job back, Randy."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I thought that you'd be happy. - But I don't belong here."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm born to be a brewer, a hops meisterl"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, then quit. No one's stoppin' you."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, I'm sorry, Randy, but that's called fraud. - It's not fraud."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm just asking you to give me a lot of money to not work here..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and not tell anyone about it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, come on. Arthur can't remember that."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, what a memorable talk we had yesterday."
How I Met Your Mother
"both in and out of prison, we're sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I want to assure you, you'll never be fired again."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're gonna work here until you die. Huh? Huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh... Green tie? [Clears Throat]"
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"- Uh, nice choice. - Thanks. Brings out my eyes."
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"Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Listen, Randy, I'm sorry..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but I broke my own moral code once, and I felt evil."
How I Met Your Mother
"I will not let GNB change me."
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"I will never fire anyone again, ever!"
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"[Chuckling] Oh, we'll see about that."
How I Met Your Mother
"## [Chorus Vocalizing, Sinister]"
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"Anyhoo, while I got ya, big smile."
How I Met Your Mother
""We care about making dreams come true." In three, two..."
How I Met Your Mother
"No!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- What are you doing? - Oh, are you unhappy with my performance?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I guess I'm fired then. I better turn in my I.D."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, it's actually, um..."
How I Met Your Mother
"nice having some of this clutter off my desk..."
How I Met Your Mother
"so thank you, Randy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now am I fired?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages."
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"I'm not even here. [Whispering] Randy, the coffee."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh! Okay. Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
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