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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Friendship Algorithm (S02E02)

"Sheldon Cooper."
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"What's up with Ichabod?"
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"Oh, he's trying to make a new friend."
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"Unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto..."
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"Well, how did you guys become friends?"
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"You'd be surprised how many particle physicists have a whimsical side."
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"What about Howard and Raj? How did he become friends with them?"
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"I don't know. How do carbon atoms form a benzene ring?"
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"Proximity and valence electrons."
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"Well, yeah, sure, when you put it that way."
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"But it all worked out, right?"
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"I do miss whistling though."
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"Oh, come on. Really?"
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"First warning."
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"Hi."
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"Yes, well, that is a good question."
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"But is this really the best way to figure it out?"
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"...to my companionship, this is the best I can do."
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"An aspect of my most appealing trait:"
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"playfulness."
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"Only 211."
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"Thanks, pal."
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"You got it, buddy."
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"Well, that's certainly a thought-provoking hypothesis."
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"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Your questionnaire, very disappointing."
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"I answered every question, Sheldon."
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"You answered the multiple choice questions in a pattern."
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"A-B-B-A-C, A-B-B-A-C."
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"How could I not?"
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"Well, uh, come on. There's over 200 questions."
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"And look at some of these things."
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""Sheldon is to camaraderie as the space shuttle is to blank.""
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"There are a number of acceptable answers. For example, C, near-Earth transport."
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"But certainly not B, avocado rancher."
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"...if I wait till the Cylons take over?"
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"Please."
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"Hold on. I put some real work into that."
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"Yes, well, it's better than what Wolowitz did."
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"He drew a raccoon with what appears to be a distended scrotum."
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"What hope do I have for establishing new relationships, given that my friends..."
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"...could not take a few hours out of their lives to help me?"
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"Ugh. What I'm trying to say is that you can't approach this..."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Well, ahh, remember when you tried to learn how to swim using the Internet?"
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"The skills are transferable."
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"I just have no interest in going in the water."
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"I'm sure the research already exists."
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"No. No, my point is if you wanna learn how to make friends..."
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"...then just go out to a coffee shop or a museum."
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"Meet people. Talk to them. Take an interest in their lives."
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"You're driving me to the mall to acquire a book..."
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"Why don't you just lie down on the floor and swim there?"
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"It's just as well. She smelled like mothballs."
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"Okay, if you're gonna start sniffing people, I'm gonna go get a hot pretzel."
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"Excuse me."
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"Um, yeah, but they're all for kids."
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"Uh, I guess. They're right over there by the wooden train set."
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"I bet you do."
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"Let's see."
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""Bernie Bunny Has Two Daddies Now.""
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""Gerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus.""
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"Read it, not helpful."
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""Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo.""
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""Author Sarah Carpenter..."
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"...lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana..."
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"...with her husband and best friend, Mark..."
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"Me too."
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"Most people don't see it."
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"Curious George is a monkey."
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"Sheldon, what are you doing?"
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"I'm making friends with this little girl."
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"- What's your name? - Rebecca."
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"Hi, Rebecca. I'm your new friend, Sheldon."
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"We were really hitting it off."
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"Don't look up, there's cameras."
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"...what did you put for his favorite amino acid?"
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"Lysine."
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"Oh, good. You're just in time."
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"Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends."
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"Hear him out. If he's onto something, we could open a booth at Comic-Con..."
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"...make a fortune."
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"You see, my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies..."
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"...as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo."
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"Stu the Cockatoo?"
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"Yes. He's new at the zoo."
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"It's a terrific book. I've distilled its essence into a simple flow chart..."
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"...that will guide me through the process."
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"Have you thought about putting him in a crate..."
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"...while you're out of the apartment?"
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"...because I hadn't offered any suggestions for pursuing our friendship."
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"Yeah, perhaps the two of us might share a meal together."
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"Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa."
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"I see. No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up yet."
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"But what about a recreational activity?"
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"Tell me an interest of yours."
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"Tell me another interest of yours."
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"Tell me another interest of yours."
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"- Uh-oh, he's stuck in an infinite loop. - I can fix it."
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"Mm-hm. Mm-hm."
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"It's interesting but isn't ventriloquism by definition a solo activity?"
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"Yeah. Tell me another interest of yours."
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"Is there any chance you like monkeys?"
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"Yeah, what is wrong with you?"
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"Everybody likes monkeys."
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"Hang on, Kripke."
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"You know, I am a fan of ventriloquism."
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"Nope. I wanna climb some rocks."
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"You know, one expects to see hominids learning to use bones as weapons."
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"- Hey, you afraid of heights, Cooper? - Hardly."
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"A fear of heights is illogical."
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"Fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary."
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"...I need to achieve to cement our newfound friendship?"
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"Come on, they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this."
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"Okay, harness seems to be secure."
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"A small amount of incontinence just now, but the website said that's to be expected."
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"Hey."
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"This isn't so bad."
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"Look at you. You're almost halfway to the top."
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"I am? l--"
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"It is a fear of heights."
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