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Clips from Three's Company - Jack's Uncle (S02E02)

"One time when I took the rent down, I saw him put it in a drawer in his desk."
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"entranced by my fascinating tales of the Far East, you will go down there..."
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"And steal the check? Nothing of the kind."
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"You're simply taking back something that belonged to me in the first place."
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"That's right. It's got his name on it and everything."
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"It's stealing, and I won't do it."
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"Jack, do you have a better idea?"
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"Do you think I should wear gloves?"
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"Oh, wasn't that sweet of Jack's uncle..."
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"to help him out that way?"
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"Those people stick together, you know. [ Doorbell Ringing ]"
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"Well, naturally. They're related."
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"In more ways than one."
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"Huh?"
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"Ah, my dear Mr. Roper."
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"I wonder if you and your charming wife..."
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"would care to join me upstairs for a cocktail or two?"
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"I don't think so. I'm kind of tired."
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"His charming wife is wide awake."
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"We'd love to have you too, Mr. Roper."
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"- No, no, you and Helen go right ahead. - You mean you would trust me..."
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"alone with your wife?"
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"Like you were her mother."
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"But, Mr. Roper... I gotta catch up on my sleep."
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"Poor thing."
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"He hasn't had a nap since this morning."
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"Uh, you... you go on ahead. I'd like a moment to myself. Why?"
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"Well, I'm in the midst of composing a poem to your beauty,"
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"[ Chuckles ] Take your time."
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"Psst. It's all set. What do you mean, all set? Roper's still in there."
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"Don't worry about him. He said he was going to go to sleep."
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"Now, just be quiet in there. Good luck."
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"Yeah, good luck. Okay, girls."
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"What? I want you to stand guard out here."
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"And if you see anybody coming, whistle. I can't whistle."
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"Well, do the best you can."
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"[ Snores, Coughs ]"
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"[ Drawer Rattles ] [ Snores ]"
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"[ Coughing ]"
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"[ Cup Clanging ]"
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"What the hell are you doing in here?"
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"I thought you might like to come upstairs with me. What?"
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"I don't mean just me. I mean, we're having a party up there."
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"It'll be me and Janet and Chrissy and my uncle and..."
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"Mr. Roper! Whistle, whistle!"
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"Whistle, whistle?"
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"Whistle, whistle. It's a new dance."
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"Come on up. We'll show you how to do the whistle and the hustle."
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"Oh, the wine is lovely."
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"Not half so lovely as the hand that holds it, my dear."
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"[ Chuckles ] Oh, you can't mean that."
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"What am I saying?"
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"[ Jack ] It's a little party."
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"Stanley, I thought you were taking a nap!"
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"- I was, but Jack woke me up. - Well, what's a party without shoes."
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"I mean, people. Oh. Uh-oh. I smell something burning in the kitchen."
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"It might be your dinner, Uncle. Let's go look at the burning kitchen."
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"Didn't get it, huh? He's got it on him."
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"Oh! Well, he'll just have to give it to us."
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"How you gonna get him to do that? Uh, greed, my dear boy. Greed."
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"Now, when we go back out there, you find some way to casually..."
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"bring the conversation around to money. Leave that to me."
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"Everything's fine. Nothing burned. Good."
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"So, everything okay out here? Fine."
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"Oh, great, great. How you doing, Chrissy? You okay? Yeah, I'm fine."
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"Mrs. Roper, everything all right with you? Oh, sure. Fine."
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"You okay, Mr. Roper? I'm okay."
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"Good, good."
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"Oh, Lordy, Lordy."
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"So, how much money did you make last year, Uncle Fremont?"
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"Uh, uh, well, it wasn't my best year."
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"My investments only brought in a few hundred thousand."
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"A few hundred thousand! Well, what kind of investments?"
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"Forget it, Stanley. If you own it, it's sure to go down."
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"I never allow my friends to put their money in my investments."
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"I'm not your friend."
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"That's true."
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"Uh, by the way, there is one little stock. Yeah, yeah, yeah?"
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"But I would need a, uh, deposit."
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"Say, uh, $100."
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"I have your check. I could endorse it right over to you."
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"Why didn't I think of that?"
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"You're a very persuasive man, Mr. Roper."
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"Congratulations. Thank you."
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"Helen, we're gonna be rich. I'm so excited!"
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"He's excited!"
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"Excuse me. Excuse me."
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"[ Sighs ] Voilà."
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"Ya did it, Uncle Fremont."
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"Oh, no. You were a big help."
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"If you hadn't come to visit, we never would have gotten that check back."
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"[ Doorbell Ringing ] That's a good point, Chrissy."
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"Hi. How do you do?"
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"[ Singsongy ] I'm Mona Carmichael. [ Mockingly ] I'm Jack Tripper."
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"Mona! Mona, what are you doing here?"
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"Isn't it obvious, darling? I've come for you."
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"[ Stammering ] Well, Mona, this is my nephew Jack..."
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"Hello. and his friends Chrissy and Janet."
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"- I spoke to you on the phone. - Really? You sounded much older."
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"I forgive you for not talking to me on the phone."
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"Now, my car is waiting downstairs."
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"I've arranged to have my chauffeur drive us to Las Vegas where we can be married."
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"The minister will be waiting at the chapel at precisely midnight."
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"And I've reserved the bridal suite."
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"And I suppose you've selected my wardrobe also?"
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"As a matter of fact, yes, I have."
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"She thinks of everything. [ Chuckles ]"
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"Well, good-bye, Jack."
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"Good-bye, Chrissy... and Janet."
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"You're all very beautiful."
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"And now, my dear Mona, Yes?"
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"I have just remembered a lovely little island off the coast of South America..."
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"where they have the most spectacular sunsets..."
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"Really? and the most spectacular ladies..."
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"to help one enjoy them."
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"Adiós."
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"Adiós? You come back here!"
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"Vaya con Dios!"
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