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Clips from Umbrella Academy - A Light Supper (S02E02)

"I know you fancy yourself a spiritual guru and all of that,"
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"so this is gonna be hard to hear,"
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"-but, um... -[Klaus moans]"
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"...you need serious help."
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""Oh, Klaus, don't do this!"
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"Klaus, do do this, but not like that." [laughs]"
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"I mean, I can't take a piss without you nitpicking at my aim."
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"Oh, without me you'd be dead in a ditch somewhere."
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"-[Ben] Who? -Dad."
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"Don't say that."
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"-[in singsong] Dad. -I'm serious! Shut up!"
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"-and you finally turned into your father. -[growls]"
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"[Klaus gasping]"
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"[shivering]"
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"Jesus, Ben."
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"[Klaus continues shivering]"
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"[voice shaking] What the hell did you just do?"
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"-[shuddering gasps] -I think I was..."
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"inside of you."
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"[Klaus] Ugh."
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"-Dave? -Jill."
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"[panting]"
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"[keys clinking]"
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"[Ray sighs]"
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"Raymond, you clearly have something to say,"
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"Did you use it on me?"
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"Ray, of course not."
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"[Allison sighs softly]"
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"[Ray] Where did that come from?"
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"What is it?"
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"[Klaus] So how did you find me?"
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"-Hmm? -I found this pamphlet"
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"-with your face on it. -[chuckles] Oh, no."
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"Well, I'm glad you came."
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"[Dave] Hey, listen, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the other day."
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"Yeah, but still, that's not the kinda guy I am."
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"I know. I know. [chuckles softly]"
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"[birds twittering]"
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"Hey, the other day you said a bunch of stuff"
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"-about the war and about my uncle. -Uh-huh."
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"-How did you know all that stuff? -Oh, that's easy. I'm a prophet."
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"-It's all right there in the pamphlet. -[woman] Prophet."
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"I know your favorite food"
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"is a plain hamburger with two pickles. [snaps fingers]"
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"-Everybody likes a hamburger. -Oh, come on."
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"Your favorite song is "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.""
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"Who told you that?"
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"[Klaus] And your favorite book of all time is Dune."
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"[Dave] Ha. Wrong."
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"-I've never even heard of Dune. -[Klaus] Mmm!"
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"And you'll love it, trust me. And you're welcome, by the way."
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"What else, what else, what else..."
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"you feel like an outsider in your own family."
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"You hope that being a soldier will prove something to them"
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"and prove something to yourself."
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"And I'm here to tell you, Dave,"
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"that that's not gonna work"
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"and you're gonna end up wishing that you didn't."
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"-Mmm. -I'm joining the military"
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"-because it's the right-- -'Cause it's the right thing to do."
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"[voice breaks] Don't even know why I came here."
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"you take fire trying to hold hill 689..."
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"You're lying."
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"-You're some kind of con artist. -Here, look, look, look. Look, look."
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"Take these."
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"[Dave sniffs]"
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"[Klaus] They're all I have left of ya."
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"-...which I don't... -Mmm."
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"It's an honor to die for my country."
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"That's what you peaceniks don't understand."
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"-But you don't have to-- -Yes, I do."
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"-No, you don't. -I've already enlisted."
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"What? That's not supposed to happen yet."
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"The other day after I saw you, my uncle took me down to the recruitment office."
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"What?"
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"Dave."
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"Dave? Dave, come back."
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"[Handler, in Swedish] All the new age remedies out there,"
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"but nothing beats a schvitz when it comes to stress."
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"My job can be stressful, sure."
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"But I can't imagine what it must be like for you boys."
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"Do we know you?"
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"[Handler chuckles]"
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"on this job."
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"You lost your brother. I'd call that more than a snag."
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"-[squeezing flesh] -[soft grunt]"
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"your beloved brother?"
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"[whispers in English] Unharm my wiener."
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"[in Swedish] Go on."
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"I'll give you the exact location"
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"of the one you're looking for, Diego."
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"I leave up to your imaginations."
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"I just have one request."
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"Don't hurt the little one with"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪"
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"-♪ This is what you want... ♪ -[elevator dings]"
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"[Allison] Hold it."
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"[Luther] Excuse me."
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"Good. We're all here."
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"♪ This is what you want This is what you get ♪ [lyrics echoing]"
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"[Luther grunts softly]"
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"[Allison sniffs]"
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"-Luther! -[Vanya] Oh, my God."
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"Sorry, I'm nervous."
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"[elevator dings]"
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"-[Five] Nasty. I'm choking! -[Klaus] None of that."
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"[island music plays softly over speakers]"
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"[Five] All right, when Dad gets here, I'll do the talking, okay?"
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"[Diego] Got a few questions for him myself."
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"[Five] Hey, we don't wanna scare him off."
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"He might be able to help us stop doomsday, get us home."
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"[Five] This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile."
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"Okay, yeah, maybe we should take turns talking. Yeah?"
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"Here, whoever has got this conch shell gets to talk."
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