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Clips from The Boondocks - Pause (S03E03)

"Winston Jerome is holding an open casting call"
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"for the leading man in his new play,"
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"and I'm preparing for my audition."
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"Audition? Like an acting audition?"
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"The acting audition of a lifetime."
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"But you don't act. Don't act?"
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"Your granddaddy was once a passionate,"
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"dedicated thespian. Oh!"
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"But this was long before the days of Terrence Howard."
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"See, Hollywood didn't have room"
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"for a young, handsome, light-skinned black man"
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"What's so funny?"
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"Mr. Pibb. That's a soda's name."
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"He is so bad."
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"Oh, ooh, cramp! Cramping real bad! Oh!"
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"Maybe you'd like to see a real man."
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"I bet you stay up late dreaming you had a real man."
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"I pity the fool. Thank you."
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"Breaking into Hollywood at your age?"
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"He's looking for mature men."
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"See? Look right here."
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""Casting for black leading man, 50 and older."
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""Light-skinned, good hair, must look nice shirtless,"
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"and not allergic to baby oil.""
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"That's me all day."
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"Don't you ever think you're too old"
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"to do some of that stuff you do?"
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"Why can't I be a sex symbol?"
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"Why can't I be a heartthrob?"
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"I say do it before it's too late."
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"And it's gonna be too late real soon. So, uh, yeah,"
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"hurry up. Thank you, Riley."
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"I'm gonna really let him have it."
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"Show them my stuff."
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"Give that man everything I got."
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"Pause what?"
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"You said something gay, so you gotta say "no homo,""
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"or else you's a homo."
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"And what did I say gay?"
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"You said you was gonna give this dude"
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"everything you got, no homo."
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"That's not gay, I said"
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"Pause, Granddad. If it sound gay, it's gay,"
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"and you gotta say "no homo.""
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"How I know you not a homo, Granddad,"
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"if you don't say "no homo"?"
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"I'm not saying "no homo"."
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"Okay, you wanna be a homo."
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"Stop calling your granddaddy a homo!"
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"Then say "no homo." I don't wanna say "no homo.""
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"I'm gonna homo your ass if you don't stop saying "pause.""
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"Pause."
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"The typical Winston Jerome story starts"
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"with a beautiful, educated, professional black woman,"
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"trapped in a troubled marriage"
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"How can you do this to me? Get out!"
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"I'm gonna marry this white hussy,"
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"because you are too virtuous and strong"
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"and might make me a better man."
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"Then a dude who looks like Shemar Moore shows up"
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"as the shirtless light-skinned gardener"
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"who just got out of jail."
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"Excuse me, uh, may I rake your leaves?"
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"At first she acts like she doesn't like"
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"But eventually she gets to know him"
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"and sees his sensitive side."
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"Now I know that to you, I'm just a poor,"
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"light-skinned gardener who can't even afford a shirt."
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"I never thought I'd ever be with a man"
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"so loving and light-skinned."
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"And I will always be light-skinned just for you."
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"Being a good Christian woman,"
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"she gives her marriage one last chance because Jesus said so."
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"I am dark-skinned and bald, so I hate you and I hate Jesus!"
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"And just when the brown-skinned dude from Law & Order"
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"is about to hit her, here comes the shirtless gardener."
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"Hold it right there, bald-headed dude from Law & Order."
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"having found true love through Jesus."
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"Which role you auditioning for?"
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"I didn't think there would be"
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"this many people here just for a play."
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"Just a play? Let me tell you something."
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"It starts with the play, but if he like you in the play,"
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"And if he like you in the movie of the play,"
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"Wait a minute."
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"You're Kadeem Hardison."
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"Star of TV's A Different World. What are you doing here?"
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"I don't know if you know this,"
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"but there ain't exactly a bunch of other shit"
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"we could be doing right now."
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"What, I'm supposed to wait for the next"
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"Look, it's him. Shh!"
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"Mm-mm."
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"Mr. Jerome would like to see you."
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"He would? You won't be needing that shirt."
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"Oh, he want him."
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"Jesus told me in my next play,"
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"Ma Dukes should find herself a man."
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"So I've decided to call this play,"
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"Ma Dukes Finds Herself a Man."
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"Do you think you're man enough for Ma Dukes, Robert?"
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"Yeah, I think so. Yes."
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"Try this line:"
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""Ma Dukes, you are a strong, intelligent black woman"
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"who will make me a better man.""
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"Ma Dukes... Wait, wait."
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"Uh, something's off."
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"What flavor you want, man?"
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"I got Tropical Peach, Sunrise Orange,"
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"Minty Mango, and Apricot."
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"Just tell me which ones you like."
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"Uh, okay."
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"Minty Mango it is."
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"Turn around."
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"Hey!"
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"You want me to pop these bumps?"
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"Okay, Robert. Again."
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"Breathtaking!"
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"You know, I remember when I sat down to write my first play."
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"I asked Jesus, "Will you co-write with me?""
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