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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"you're not sleeping now? Wait till that thing's born."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Oh! MALORY: So do yourself and"
Archer (2009)
"those bosoms of yours a favor, and get a wet nurse."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Preferably one who cooks."
Archer (2009)
"We had a Dominican, just lovely, bosoms like... well, like yours,"
Archer (2009)
"but umpteen babies later. My God, Sterling loved her."
Archer (2009)
"Now what was her name? I want to say Mariela?"
Archer (2009)
"steal from you; it's just the cost of doing business."
Archer (2009)
"(Lana sighs) LANA: Steal what?"
Archer (2009)
"the money, I would get the hell out of this... Hillbilly Hilton."
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Am I supposed to be recording this?"
Archer (2009)
"(jug shattering) Jug down!"
Archer (2009)
"Jug down! MALORY: As difficult as that"
Archer (2009)
"to throw them away? MALORY: None."
Archer (2009)
"Krieger sells it all! ARCHER: Before what?"
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Yeah, if it's insane to use an X-gen asymmetric onion"
Archer (2009)
"router and digital cryptocurrency to sell your"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: But... so do people e-mail you, or...?"
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: No. It's like shopping online, only"
Archer (2009)
"for cocaine. I've already sold, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"Wow, almost 800 grand worth. MALORY: Really?"
Archer (2009)
"U.S. dollars whenever we want. I call 'em Kriegerrands."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: And then how do they get the cocaine?"
Archer (2009)
"I'll send up some help. And, missy, you had better watch it."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Lana. Lana."
Archer (2009)
"RAY: Wh... Probably you shitheads!"
Archer (2009)
"OTHERS: What did we do? RAY: Besides keeping"
Archer (2009)
"everybody up all night with your damn hootenannies..."
Archer (2009)
"goddamn baby shower?! CHERLENE: Ew!"
Archer (2009)
"interspecies breeding, and get on with your life!"
Archer (2009)
"Cherlene, go pick or grin or something, and the rest of"
Archer (2009)
"a baby shower. MALORY: Wh...?"
Archer (2009)
"We haven't done that yet? I said move, people!"
Archer (2009)
"Idiots. All right, I need them here"
Archer (2009)
"making music and packaging cocaine, so this baby shower is"
Archer (2009)
"up to you. Don't cock it up like you did"
Archer (2009)
"Texas! PAM: Hey!"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Oh, blow it out your ass!"
Archer (2009)
"(Pam farts) (Archer laughs)"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: I was hoping you'd do that."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, we should make a list. Item one: some paper to write"
Archer (2009)
"said list on. (gasps)"
Archer (2009)
"Item two... Woodhouse! Get in here!"
Archer (2009)
"400 bucks; go get all the stuff for a baby shower: cake,"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Really? Wow, okay, that explains..."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, never mind. And, Woodhouse,"
Archer (2009)
"if you spend any of this on heroin, you better buy enough to"
Archer (2009)
"O.D. on, bec... WOODHOUSE: Will do!"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Will don't! PAM: Wait, so if Woodhouse is"
Archer (2009)
"getting everything we need for the party, then..."
Archer (2009)
"Lana's baby shower. PAM: Goddamn it."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Pam. Danger zone. ♪ Wait, wait, wait, no."
Archer (2009)
"boom, it's good to go zoom. CYRIL: So, why are we in"
Archer (2009)
"our underwear? KRIEGER: Eh, don't worry"
Archer (2009)
"about it. PAM: Because it kind of seems"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Really? ARCHER: I don't know."
Archer (2009)
"I mean, I assume she does. I do."
Archer (2009)
"GUARD: Whoa, whoa, where you think you're going?"
Archer (2009)
"GUARD: Not without a pass you're not."
Archer (2009)
"just doing your job, but if Kenny doesn't get this"
Archer (2009)
"embroidered hippie shirt and these gigantic bell-bottoms, I"
Archer (2009)
"GUARD: Look, he ain't even here."
Archer (2009)
"He's probably still at the Tuntmore."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Now, was that so hard... neck nuts?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Good instincts back there, Pam."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Don't do that. Don't ever do that!"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Sorry! Geez! ARCHER: You should be."
Archer (2009)
"access the computer terminal at reception, so just follow my"
Archer (2009)
"Kenny Loggins? ARCHER: Wha...?"
Archer (2009)
"Hi, I'm, uh... KENNY LOGGINS: Uh-huh,"
Archer (2009)
"Loggins?! KENNY LOGGINS: Ricky, bad"
Archer (2009)
"KENNY LOGGINS: Uh, hang on. Hit him again."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Wait! No, no, no, no! ARCHER: What?! I..."
Archer (2009)
"No, no, never mind. It's just a fan."
Archer (2009)
"Are you okay? (Archer coughs)"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Yeah, that's fair! Kick out the guy whose custom"
Archer (2009)
"So, what's up? What's the plan? ARCHER: (sighs) The plan is"
Archer (2009)
"shut up and come on. GILLETTE: No, we have to play"
Archer (2009)
"games at the baby shower. There's Don't Drop the Baby, uh,"
Archer (2009)
"Dirty Diaper Game... CYRIL: What in God's name is"
Archer (2009)
"the Dirty Diaper Game? GILLETTE: Oh, my God, it's"
Archer (2009)
"hilarious. You get a bunch of newborn"
Archer (2009)
"diapers, then you microwave different candy bars..."
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Stop! Yeah, let me just stop you there, because if"
Archer (2009)
"you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your"
Archer (2009)
"Jesus. LANA: I, um..."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, so, as you know, or should know, I'm pregnant and..."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: (sighs) Lana, it's too late to..."
Archer (2009)
"that's such a mindbender for everybody, but..."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY (chuckling): Well... LANA: But... Hush. I have a"
Archer (2009)
"been paid... (sighs) Look, I hate to ask, but"
Archer (2009)
"I need... MALORY: WIC!"
Archer (2009)
"for babies. I don't know-- I'm not a"
Archer (2009)
"Democrat. But I think they give you a"
Archer (2009)
"sweet wigs and another $300 for Kenny Loggins' room number."
Archer (2009)
"HOUSEKEEPER: Mm-hmm. PAM: So, I'm curious-- why"
Archer (2009)
"didn't you just call Cherlene, who owns the hotel?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: (sighs) And I'm curious-- why didn't you remind"
Archer (2009)
"J. Alfred Gotrocks. ARCHER: What?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: We haven't been paid in forever."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: I, uh... sold some artwork?"
Archer (2009)
"actually follow my lead or... PAM: Hang on, let me grab a"
Archer (2009)
"name tag. ARCHER: (gasps) Ruby! Ruby!"
Archer (2009)
"Let it go. And give me one of those mints."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Dude, they're cocaine. ARCHER: (sighs) Of course"
Archer (2009)
"Now, I cannot stress this enough, Pam: follow my lead."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Okay. ARCHER: Room ser..."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Housekeeping! ARCHER: (clears throat) What"
Archer (2009)
"did I just... PAM: Prostitute!"
Archer (2009)
"problem? PAM: Besides my face hurts?"
Archer (2009)
"publicist. ARCHER: Well, as a lowly room"
Archer (2009)
"order room service. ARCHER: Sure, you did."
Archer (2009)
"K-Log needs to pay for sex, do you?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Mm... no, but, that being said, I do think he needs"
Archer (2009)
"KENNY LOGGINS: Oh, yeah? Well, I think you need to"
Archer (2009)
"reevaluate your face. ARCHER: My... Oh."
Archer (2009)
"- Lip chemo? - It's the crazy guy from the lobby!"
Archer (2009)
"Which means you're no prostitute."
Archer (2009)
"And that being said,"
Archer (2009)
"I am open to blow jobs for money. I only got eight bucks on me,"
Archer (2009)
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