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Clips from Modern Family - Fifteen Percent (S01E01)

"Give up. Give up. Admit defeat."
Modern Family
"[Calmly] Haley. Okay. Uh, let's see."
Modern Family
"You put the remote on to TV mode..."
Modern Family
"and then press "Input"..."
Modern Family
"till you get HDMI 1 and-"
Modern Family
"- [Crowd Cheering] - [Haley Laughing, Whooping]"
Modern Family
"- I did it! - She did it!"
Modern Family
"[Both Laughing]"
Modern Family
"Fine. You proved your point."
Modern Family
"Everybody in this house is smarter than me."
Modern Family
"So think how fast you can learn it."
Modern Family
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Modern Family
"See what I'm saying?"
Modern Family
"[Pounding] [Jay] Mitchell, it's me!"
Modern Family
"Hey, Dad. Hi."
Modern Family
"I'm here to let you know your gaydar is broken."
Modern Family
"Shorty is not gay. No. I, uh- I knew that."
Modern Family
"I made that up to mess with you for dissing Cam."
Modern Family
"What? That cost me 20,000 bucks."
Modern Family
"- What do you mean? - I reached out to him to let him know it's okay to be gay."
Modern Family
"You did? Yeah."
Modern Family
"Right after one of the stranger golf lessons of my life."
Modern Family
"Turns out what he is is a lousy gambler,"
Modern Family
"and now I'm the one on the hook for it."
Modern Family
"[Chuckles] Oh, I'm so sorry."
Modern Family
"Then why are you smiling? I'm- I'm proud of you, Dad."
Modern Family
"And you're growing. Just-Just stop it. Please."
Modern Family
"Don't you see how hard this is for me?"
Modern Family
"See, I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me."
Modern Family
"I got a house looks like Little Colombia."
Modern Family
"I got a gay son and a Chinese granddaughter."
Modern Family
"Don't worry, Dad. Not growing too much."
Modern Family
"[Whitney] I'm a little nervous."
Modern Family
"Don't be. I'm sure you look beautiful."
Modern Family
"[Gloria Gasps] [Manny] Whoa!"
Modern Family
"What do you think? Look at you! [Laughing]"
Modern Family
"Really? [Doorbell Rings]"
Modern Family
"You're gonna be fighting men off with a stick."
Modern Family
"I don't know about that."
Modern Family
"Cameron! Hi. Sorry for the pop over,"
Modern Family
"but I just wanted to bring you these..."
Modern Family
"to thank you for babysitting Lily again last night."
Modern Family
"Oh! [Both Kiss Loudly]"
Modern Family
"¡Gracias! You didn't need to do that."
Modern Family
"You know I love Lily. I know."
Modern Family
"Come in. Say hello."
Modern Family
"Hey, Cam. Hi, Manny."
Modern Family
"Manny, how are you? Cameron, this is my new friend, Whitney."
Modern Family
"That is a spectacular dress."
Modern Family
"What about her hair? Oh, my gosh."
Modern Family
"It's like Barbra Streisand in The Way We Were."
Modern Family
"Okay, who is reading The Forevers?"
Modern Family
"I am."
Modern Family
"I am so obsessed with this whole vampire thing right now."
Modern Family
"I just met the sweetest guy named Cameron."
Modern Family
"I think he might be the one."
Modern Family
"[Mitchell] Can people change? I don't know."
Modern Family
"That's how much people can change if they really want to."
Modern Family
"Well, I'll see you when I see you. Yeah, thanks for-"
Modern Family
"[Whispering] Haley, sweetie, wake up."
Modern Family
"Now? Why can't Dad teach you?"
Modern Family
"Whether it's for themselves or for the people they love-"
Modern Family
"That way. Yeah."
Modern Family
"And then press- Mmm! I got it."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Yeah, 15%. [Remote Beeps]"
Modern Family
"[Both Cheering]"
Modern Family
"But you know what? I did it!"
Modern Family
"Sometimes that's just enough. I did it!"
Modern Family
"All right, I'll see you guys next week, huh?"
Modern Family
"[All Chattering] Jay. Jay."
Modern Family
"Listen, I wanna thank you for, you know, helping me out with that jam."
Modern Family
"It was nothin'. No, no, no. And I got you a little present."
Modern Family
"You didn't have to do that. No, I did."
Modern Family
"Two tickets to see the great Michael Bublé."
Modern Family
"The guy sings like an angel."
Modern Family
"He's gonna be outside at one of the amphitheaters."
Modern Family
"Gloria's gonna love it."
Modern Family
"No. I'm talkin' about you and me. Oh, you and me."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Well, that's a little-"
Modern Family
"I thought maybe we could have a little picnic since it's outside."
Modern Family
"You know? I'll get some nice bottle of wine, a little cheese."
Modern Family
"Lay on a nice blanket. All right? Yeah, fine."
Modern Family
"Yo, hey. I like your hair. Who does your hair? Huh?"
Modern Family
"Yo, handsome. Who does your hair?"
Modern Family
"just so he has an excuse to talk to me like a child."
Modern Family
"You're the only one with a gay son. I'm sure he'll appreciate opening up to you."
Modern Family
"and your old buddies from cheerleading, and we can have a nerd party."
Modern Family
"Hey, you know what? How about a coffee?"
Modern Family
"I taught Haley how to use the remote in 20 minutes."
Modern Family
"Because we're married."
Modern Family
"- Thanks. You two know each other how? - She's my date."
Modern Family
"That's a great coat. [Dale] Yeah, later."
Modern Family
"I am very smart."
Modern Family