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Clips from Community (2009) - Curriculum Unavailable (S03E03)

I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis.

"I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis."

Community (2009)

I haven't diagnosed anything yet.

"I haven't diagnosed anything yet."

Community (2009)

Psych major. Got your back, brah.

"Psych major. Got your back, brah."

Community (2009)

I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you.

"I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you."

Community (2009)

Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own.

"Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own."

Community (2009)

We caught him last year

"We caught him last year"

Community (2009)

trying to remove his own tonsils.

"trying to remove his own tonsils."

Community (2009)

Well, why don't you let me take it from here?

"Well, why don't you let me take it from here?"

Community (2009)

You have to understand about Abed.

"You have to understand about Abed."

Community (2009)

He's usually, you know, adorable weird,

"He's usually, you know, adorable weird,"

Community (2009)

like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled,

"like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled,"

Community (2009)

he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams.

"he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams."

Community (2009)

I don't deal in crazy.

"I don't deal in crazy."

Community (2009)

I deal in health. Hmm.

"I deal in health. Hmm."

Community (2009)

All of this behavior started after you were expelled?

"All of this behavior started after you were expelled?"

Community (2009)

There may have been a ramp-up.

"There may have been a ramp-up."

Community (2009)

It's okay, buddy.

"It's okay, buddy."

Community (2009)

Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay?

"Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay?"

Community (2009)

But it doesn't make any sense.

"But it doesn't make any sense."

Community (2009)

We get the hour back later in the year.

"We get the hour back later in the year."

Community (2009)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community (2009)

I "Rent Tower Heist" last night,

"I "Rent Tower Heist" last night,"

Community (2009)

and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you,

"and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you,"

Community (2009)

it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride.

"it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride."

Community (2009)

That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure.

"That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure."

Community (2009)

Mm. A master at storytelling.

"Mm. A master at storytelling."

Community (2009)

He's just a master at making movies in general.

"He's just a master at making movies in general."

Community (2009)

I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg.

"I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg."

Community (2009)

I have to go. Excuse me.

"I have to go. Excuse me."

Community (2009)

Okay.

"Okay."

Community (2009)

You're a bad person. You're a bad person.

"You're a bad person. You're a bad person."

Community (2009)

Time enough at last to eat a sandwich.

"Time enough at last to eat a sandwich."

Community (2009)

was nearer his last sandwich than his first.

"was nearer his last sandwich than his first."

Community (2009)

Abed, I'm trying to eat.

"Abed, I'm trying to eat."

Community (2009)

He said, oldly,

"He said, oldly,"

Community (2009)

his brittle bones straining to support the weight

"his brittle bones straining to support the weight"

Community (2009)

of his wrinkly skin.

"of his wrinkly skin."

Community (2009)

Stop narrating me.

"Stop narrating me."

Community (2009)

He shouted to no one,

"He shouted to no one,"

Community (2009)

just a man alone in time with nothing

"just a man alone in time with nothing"

Community (2009)

but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him.

"but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him."

Community (2009)

Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality.

"Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality."

Community (2009)

Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel.

"Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel."

Community (2009)

And action.

"And action."

Community (2009)

Abed, what the hell are you doing?

"Abed, what the hell are you doing?"

Community (2009)

Cut. We got it. One more for safety.

"Cut. We got it. One more for safety."

Community (2009)

Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning,

"Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning,"

Community (2009)

and you're in my bedroom.

"and you're in my bedroom."

Community (2009)

Use that. Okay.

"Use that. Okay."

Community (2009)

But that's almost completely nearly all of it.

"But that's almost completely nearly all of it."

Community (2009)

If Abed is as sick as you all say,

"If Abed is as sick as you all say,"

Community (2009)

then I have no... Wait a minute.

"then I have no... Wait a minute."

Community (2009)

Nobody in this room gets to define sick.

"Nobody in this room gets to define sick."

Community (2009)

I do.

"I do."

Community (2009)

I'm a psychiatrist.

"I'm a psychiatrist."

Community (2009)

Any kind of doctor can really.

"Any kind of doctor can really."

Community (2009)

- Really? - Yes.

"- Really? - Yes."

Community (2009)

then we're all sick. Yeah.

"then we're all sick. Yeah."

Community (2009)

You can't determine a person's sanity

"You can't determine a person's sanity"

Community (2009)

from a few amusing stories.

"from a few amusing stories."

Community (2009)

- Exactly. - That's right.

"- Exactly. - That's right."

Community (2009)

I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us.

"I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us."

Community (2009)

Yeah. Well.

"Yeah. Well."

Community (2009)

I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us,

"I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us,"

Community (2009)

but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants.

"but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants."

Community (2009)

Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants.

"Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants."

Community (2009)

Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year

"Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year"

Community (2009)

for everybody.

"for everybody."

Community (2009)

in his or her pants, right?

"in his or her pants, right?"

Community (2009)

I have.

"I have."

Community (2009)

How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend.

"How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend."

Community (2009)

♪ Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning ♪

"♪ Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning ♪"

Community (2009)

What are you doing?

"What are you doing?"

Community (2009)

Nothing.

"Nothing."

Community (2009)

What are all these cameras doing here?

"What are all these cameras doing here?"

Community (2009)

Here, take my coat.

"Here, take my coat."

Community (2009)

Oh.

"Oh."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

Community (2009)

That's so sweet.

"That's so sweet."

Community (2009)

Just don't eat anything or drink anything,

"Just don't eat anything or drink anything,"

Community (2009)

and no sweating or bending at the elbows,

"and no sweating or bending at the elbows,"

Community (2009)

and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off,

"and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off,"

Community (2009)

You're probably warm now, right?

"You're probably warm now, right?"

Community (2009)

Good news, guys.

"Good news, guys."

Community (2009)

I spent all my money.

"I spent all my money."

Community (2009)

Troy, you can't bring that in here.

"Troy, you can't bring that in here."

Community (2009)

Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy.

"Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy."

Community (2009)

I made a plate of cookies for the study group,

"I made a plate of cookies for the study group,"

Community (2009)

but my boys ate them,

"but my boys ate them,"

Community (2009)

so since they took something of yours,

"so since they took something of yours,"

Community (2009)

you all get something of theirs.

"you all get something of theirs."

Community (2009)

Elijah loves this, Britta.

"Elijah loves this, Britta."

Community (2009)

There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy.

"There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy."

Community (2009)

There you go, Pierce.

"There you go, Pierce."

Community (2009)

Karate championship, second place!

"Karate championship, second place!"

Community (2009)

Now I'll be unstoppable.

"Now I'll be unstoppable."

Community (2009)

Oyay!

"Oyay!"

Community (2009)

So you see what you call insanity

"So you see what you call insanity"

Community (2009)

we call solidarity.

"we call solidarity."

Community (2009)

I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

Community (2009)

We just finished telling him about it,

"We just finished telling him about it,"

Community (2009)

and you grab it and squeeze it?

"and you grab it and squeeze it?"

Community (2009)

- I said I was sorry. - Uh-huh.

"- I said I was sorry. - Uh-huh."

Community (2009)

And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed

"And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed"

Community (2009)

in these little misadventures?

"in these little misadventures?"

Community (2009)

Take that back.

"Take that back."

Community (2009)

Our adventures are very manly.

"Our adventures are very manly."

Community (2009)

I have to say there's more important

"I have to say there's more important"

Community (2009)

to mental health than a support system.

"to mental health than a support system."

Community (2009)

And assuming that this group is,

"And assuming that this group is,"

Community (2009)

for Abed, said support system,

"for Abed, said support system,"

Community (2009)

in order to make a decision.

"in order to make a decision."

Community (2009)

I think that Abed should be committed.

"I think that Abed should be committed."

Community (2009)

You mean committed to his character work, right?

"You mean committed to his character work, right?"

Community (2009)

Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper.

"Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper."

Community (2009)

Cigarettes.

"Cigarettes."

Community (2009)

You mean like marriage?

"You mean like marriage?"

Community (2009)

Will someone please help me lighten the mood?

"Will someone please help me lighten the mood?"

Community (2009)

Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir,

"Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir,"

Community (2009)

please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail.

"please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail."

Community (2009)

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