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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Preeching 2 the Chior (S01E01)

"I'm a person who oozes positivity."
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"I need to be around people who do the same."
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"What about my ooze? What's gonna happen to me?"
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"[scoffs]"
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"Miranda..."
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"I think it's time that you heard a little story"
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"And his name was Uncle Jim."
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"I had made a name for myself..."
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"Rifle twirling, high stepping... [chuckles]"
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"But my real gift..."
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"And I made the decision to take my performance..."
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"to the next level."
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"♪ Watch us glimmer ♪"
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"mixed with an artist..."
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"I was poised to go straight to the top,"
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"♪ We play to win We're the champions ♪"
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"♪ Champions ♪"
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"Wait for the finale!"
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"And that's the last time that I ever performed."
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"I gave up. I turned my back on my passion."
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"And not a day goes by that I don't regret it."
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"And, Miranda, I want you to promise me..."
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"that you won't make... the same mistake that I made."
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"I was talking about giving up on your dream."
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"The story was about me joining the color guard..."
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"What does that have to do with this?"
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"You just... you just put this video out there, saying you quit."
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"I'm... I'm not seeing this connection."
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"- What are you talking about? - Okay. Miranda, I want you to listen."
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"Okay, I'm listening."
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"The year was 1986."
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"I was a senior at Brookswood High."
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"[groans]"
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"- Take out a dollar, maybe two. - [congregation murmuring]"
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"And throw the wallet in the basket. [chuckles]"
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"[chuckles]"
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"[whispering] I think I'm gonna pray for the souls of my haters."
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"- What's that? - The souls of my haters?"
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"I'm gonna pray for them, and ask God to punish them and teach them a lesson."
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"- That's nice, sweetheart. - [Keith laughs]"
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"All right. And now, a selection from our fine choir."
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"[murmuring]"
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"[singing] ♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪"
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"♪ Lord God Almighty ♪"
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"Are you smiling at that man?"
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"- Right. - Don't be a pervert."
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"Oh, hello there."
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"- I'm Keith. - Hi, I'm Bethany."
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"I mean, I'm not fine."
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"I have undiagnosed fibromyalgia."
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"You know, I say that I'm fine to appear strong."
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"Wow. That must be really hard on you."
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"It is. You know, that's what I try to tell anyone that will listen."
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"Excuse me?"
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"No, I'm sorry, I didn't... I... I meant, tomorrow night. [chuckles]"
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"The church is hosting singles night."
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"- Oh, I'm sorry. [chuckles] - And you probably..."
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"Well, a beautiful woman like you,"
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"you're probably already married. [chuckles]"
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"Probably to, like, an astronaut,"
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"or something really important like that. Right, so... [sighs]"
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"No. Uh, I'm single."
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"- I think you should come. - Really?"
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"- Mmm-hmm. [chuckles] - Okay."
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"- Well, I hope you do. [stutters] - Okay."
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"- Until then, take... take that. - Oh."
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"- Bible Bingo. I love Bible Bingo! - Yeah."
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"Hey, Miranda. I saw your video."
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"- Is everything okay? - Oh, it is better than okay, Patrick."
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"- Did you have anyone in particular in... - Oh, hi!"
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"- I'm Miranda. - Hey. I'm Owen."
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"I saw you singing with the choir. I was thinking about joining, so..."
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"Oh, you should. We could use all the talented singers we can get."
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"You should come to rehearsals tomorrow."
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"Okay. Maybe I will."
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"I mean, I'm probably busy, but, you know..."
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"- So maybe I won't, so... - Mmm, okay."
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"I love when he calls me that."
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"Don't you do it!"
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"Sweet hair like a lion."
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"[door chimes]"
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"Hey, Harvey! Wow."
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"Cut to the chase. I love that about you, Harvey."
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"Um, well, I am actually here for my job back."
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"No."
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"Come on! Why not?"
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"Because we're not hiring right now."
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"you killed a bunch of fish."
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"That was just a simple misunderstanding."
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"I mean, who knew that fish were so sensitive"
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"I work in a fish store, and I had no idea."
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"I have to ask you to leave now, Jim."
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"Two can play at that game. [laughs]"
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"You know what? I'm leaving."
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"I'm going and don't try to stop me. Okay?"
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"Don't try and stop me."
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"Okay, are you... Harvey, are you gonna try and stop me?"
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"[inhales sharply] Good."
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"Okay."
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"So good riddance to you, Harvey. Good riddance!"
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"But again, call me anytime if you're hiring."
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"Or even if you're not, just to hang out or whatever. Okay. [sighs]"
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"[door opens]"
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"[Bethany] Emily."
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"You missed some exciting stuff at church today."
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"Did the Lord return?"
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"But he did bless us with some really fun opportunities."
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"and Miranda's joining the choir."
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"Well, it didn't take you long to jump back into the spotlight."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, I, uh, got my old job back. They practically begged me to come back."
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"So that's, uh, pretty much the whole story of what happened."
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"I'll start tomorrow, double shift."
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"Uh, no further questions."
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"Wait, so, I have the house to myself tomorrow night."
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"So? What are you gonna do?"
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"You can't have a party, 'cause you don't have any friends."
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"Oh! [laughs] Friendship burn!"
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"Oh! No friends! [laughs]"
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"I have friends."
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