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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - The Hooters (S05E05)

"I'll just do my own thing, and you can take Barry"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"to go see the Hooters."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"At least let me buy you girls dessert."
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"Oh, there's a new wudder-ice place."
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"Oh, man! Their wudder ice is amazing!"
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"Okay. What are you people talking about?"
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"- Wudder ice. - Wudder ice."
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"- Wudder ice. - What's "wudder"?"
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"They're trying to say "water ice.""
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"It's a local dessert."
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"Ew. Your food and words are gross."
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"I say we drive straight until we find some culture."
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"The Hooters. [CHUCKLES]"
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"Did my daughter just say "water,""
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"like she's from Delaware?"
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"- I think she did. - Ugh. College was a mistake."
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"Huge."
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"Thank you for coming down here, Mr. Goldberg."
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"It seems there's been a serious mishap with some machinery."
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"Damn right."
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"Why do you always wear a tie in shop class, anyway?"
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"It literally can get caught in everything."
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"I dress nice for the wood because I honor the wood."
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"I expect the same from my students."
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"I get the boy can be a bit of a smartass, but it's just wood."
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"I don't know why you got to honor it."
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"- I'll tell you why, sir. - [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]"
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"I lived in a suspended bamboo cage for three years."
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"- [MUSIC STOPS] - Oh, boy."
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"Uh, Derek, while we all thank you for your service,"
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"I don't think we need to hear..."
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"It was a simple design, but sturdy as hell."
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"Naturally, I tried to saw through it with a crude tool"
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"I had fashioned from my hair and some toenails."
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"Could we just stay on course..."
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"But as time wore on, the jungle madness took me."
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"I tried to summon a monkey army to free me"
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"from my elegant fortress."
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"Okay, just speed through to the end."
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"I soon realized that I needed to forgive the wood"
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"that encaged me."
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"Just, uh... [WHISTLES]"
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"And when a monsoon swept my captors into a river,"
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"that cage became a raft to freedom."
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"And so, I have dedicated my life to the art of woodworking."
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"Okey-dokey."
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"I'm thinking maybe a week of detention should do the trick."
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"- No. You're grounded for a month, too. - What?!"
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"You got to get serious with your schoolwork."
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"Because in the future, jokes can't pay the bills."
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"Oh, yes, they can. Ask Sinbad."
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"I'm going to stop this."
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"Could we just agree no more goofing around in shop class?"
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"And you will personally apologize to the wood."
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"[WHISPERING] You don't have to do that."
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"As my dad was rejecting my comedy,"
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"Geoff was finding out Erica had rejected our hometown."
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"Geoff? I thought you ended up going to the concert."
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"No. Erica's doing her own thing... which is great."
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"I totally get it."
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"Even though it's hurtful and I don't get it at all."
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"Don't worry. Our girl's just going through a little phase."
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"Is she?"
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"'Cause it kinda feels like Erica's outgrown The Hooters"
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"and cooked fish and attractive clothing"
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"and Philly's own wudder ice."
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"- She kinda... - Kinda what? Say it."
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"I can't say it."
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"- Say it, Geoff. - I don't wanna say it."
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"If you don't say it, I'll say it."
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"- No, don't say it. - Then say it."
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"Erica is a giant [Bleep]."
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"- Whoa! - What were you gonna say?!"
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"That college has made her snobby and pretentious."
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"- That's what I meant! - Well, that's not what you said."
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"Oh, no! I'm so upset!"
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"You made me say it! Now I feel horrible!"
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"Pull it together, Geoff! If we don't do something,"
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"Erica's gonna leave Jenkintown behind"
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"to experience the world and become an interesting person!"
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"- But how do we stop it? - You can't stop it."
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"Your only choice is to become it."
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"Barry, no. That brie wheel is for an entire party."
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"I can now handle the richest of party cheeses"
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"since I've become accustomed to how the other half lives."
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"Now, pardon me, and prepare to be amazed,"
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"as I drink this... water."
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"- [GASPS] - He said it right."
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"How, Barry?"
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"Turns out, Barry had been obsessively studying"
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"the ways of the wealthy, thanks to one iconic '80s TV show."
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""Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"?"
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"Thanks to Robin Leach,"
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"I now know everything there is about class and wealth."
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"I study all the episodes to prepare myself."
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"For what?"
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"For when I'll be the Sixers star player and team doctor,"
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"which means, if I get injured,"
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"I'll be able to perform surgery on myself."
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"- I believe in you, cocoa tush! - So, you really think that"
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"Erica's like these fancy people on this show?"
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"She's seeing Yoko Ono being weird and artsy."
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"She's fancy, all right."
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"Turn us into horrible rich people, Barry."
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"- I'm in, too. - Yay, no other options."
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"While my mom and Geoff were trying to break into"
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"the upper class, I was just trying to break out of my room."
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"Why are you doing out of your room?!"
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"You're grounded for being a moron!"
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"I can't be in that room anymore, man."
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"It's like a prison with all my toys and video games."
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"That's what you get for telling bad jokes"
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"instead of getting good grades."
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"It's not like I'm gonna use anything I've learned"
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"in shop class... or math or science or history."
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"Sex Ed cleared up some rumors, but that's it."
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"Why do you only show interest in the most ridiculous careers"
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"that no Goldberg has ever succeeded in?"
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"Ridiculous? Give me one example."
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"Movie directing. Puppeteer."
The Goldbergs (2013)
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