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Clips from NewsRadio - The Song Remains the Same (S02E02)

but isn't it February?

"but isn't it February?"

NewsRadio

I'd lose the element of surprise.

"I'd lose the element of surprise."

NewsRadio

Man, that was great.

"Man, that was great."

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It was just like that kid show on Nickelodeon.

"It was just like that kid show on Nickelodeon."

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What show, Matthew?

"What show, Matthew?"

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I thought that was green slime.

"I thought that was green slime."

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Dave, Dave, Dave,

"Dave, Dave, Dave,"

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If you say what?

"If you say what?"

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Why's that, Bill?

"Why's that, Bill?"

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That's because of the reporter.

"That's because of the reporter."

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I don't want him to get the wrong impression.

"I don't want him to get the wrong impression."

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Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot about that."

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it'd mean something to me.

"it'd mean something to me."

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Sure, Bill, I gotcha, I gotcha.

"Sure, Bill, I gotcha, I gotcha."

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Thank you. That's great.

"Thank you. That's great."

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I'm lying. April fool!

"I'm lying. April fool!"

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Ooh, Lord, do I love that crazy, mixed-up day!

"Ooh, Lord, do I love that crazy, mixed-up day!"

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Good man.

"Good man."

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You think I could get a few words with him?

"You think I could get a few words with him?"

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He has Tourette's syndrome--

"He has Tourette's syndrome--"

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Anyhoo...

"Anyhoo..."

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Finish cleaning out that guy's desk yet?

"Finish cleaning out that guy's desk yet?"

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That guy's name happens to be Brian, okay?

"That guy's name happens to be Brian, okay?"

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Did I miss something?

"Did I miss something?"

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I found this in his desk.

"I found this in his desk."

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It's a rose.

"It's a rose."

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Technically, I think it's just a stem.

"Technically, I think it's just a stem."

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Uh-huh. Let me see that.

"Uh-huh. Let me see that."

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"I hope I get the courage to give this to you.

""I hope I get the courage to give this to you."

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"Love, Brian.

""Love, Brian."

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P.S. If I did give this to you, disregard above."

"P.S. If I did give this to you, disregard above.""

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and never got the courage up to speak to me.

"and never got the courage up to speak to me."

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Aw, that's... that's kind of creepy, actually.

"Aw, that's... that's kind of creepy, actually."

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until I found this.

"until I found this."

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in the top drawer of his desk,

"in the top drawer of his desk,"

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and the passages that he underlined are my favorite parts.

"and the passages that he underlined are my favorite parts."

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Mm-hmm.

"Mm-hmm."

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It'd have to be, wouldn't it?

"It'd have to be, wouldn't it?"

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Dave, please explain these.

"Dave, please explain these."

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No.

"No."

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Oh, my God. You've got me convinced.

"Oh, my God. You've got me convinced."

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Could you please look up Brian's number?

"Could you please look up Brian's number?"

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You're actually going to call this guy?

"You're actually going to call this guy?"

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but before you start picking out baby names,

"but before you start picking out baby names,"

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have you thought that just maybe

"have you thought that just maybe"

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this might be one of Mr. James'

"this might be one of Mr. James'"

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what a cruel-- wait a minute.

"what a cruel-- wait a minute."

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I sense you have mixed emotions about this.

"I sense you have mixed emotions about this."

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You...

"You..."

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Mr. James, did you put this in that guy's desk

"Mr. James, did you put this in that guy's desk"

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to make you think anything.

"to make you think anything."

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Do you swear it? I swear.

"Do you swear it? I swear."

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You swear on your tax returns?

"You swear on your tax returns?"

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Pick something else.

"Pick something else."

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she did a dirty movie.

"she did a dirty movie."

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Yeah. I'll tell you what,

"Yeah. I'll tell you what,"

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I'll go you one better.

"I'll go you one better."

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if you might enjoy a salted nut.

"if you might enjoy a salted nut."

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Trying to get on the April Fools' action?

"Trying to get on the April Fools' action?"

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I open it,

"I open it,"

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snake flies out, pops me in the head?

"snake flies out, pops me in the head?"

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No. Nuts. They're nuts. They...

"No. Nuts. They're nuts. They..."

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Just good guess. You ought to be careful.

"Just good guess. You ought to be careful."

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you know, in with the joke can.

"you know, in with the joke can."

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Yeah...

"Yeah..."

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Cool. I got one of the good ones.

"Cool. I got one of the good ones."

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Dave, it doesn't matter what people think.

"Dave, it doesn't matter what people think."

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Well, it does to me.

"Well, it does to me."

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What if everybody thought you should jump off a bridge,

"What if everybody thought you should jump off a bridge,"

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If everyone around here thought I should jump off a bridge,

"If everyone around here thought I should jump off a bridge,"

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You do remember

"You do remember"

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that we're talking about Matthew here.

"that we're talking about Matthew here."

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Now, that is unfair.

"Now, that is unfair."

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Matthew is perfectly competent to do the job.

"Matthew is perfectly competent to do the job."

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I think his talents and abilities

"I think his talents and abilities"

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he had a chance to prove himself around here.

"he had a chance to prove himself around here."

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Did you see that thing hit me right in the face?

"Did you see that thing hit me right in the face?"

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What an idiot. Did you see that?

"What an idiot. Did you see that?"

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I'll never forget what Dan Rather

"I'll never forget what Dan Rather"

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once told me.

"once told me."

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He said, "Bill, would you--"

"He said, "Bill, would you--""

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Hey, Bill, I thought you might care

"Hey, Bill, I thought you might care"

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for a salted nut.

"for a salted nut."

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I'm terribly sorry.

"I'm terribly sorry."

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My father-- rest his soul--

"My father-- rest his soul--"

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died of a...

"died of a..."

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nut overdose.

"nut overdose."

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I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

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Don't be. He knew what he was getting into

"Don't be. He knew what he was getting into"

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Anyway, where was I?

"Anyway, where was I?"

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"Bill, we're journalists..."

""Bill, we're journalists...""

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he's still weird.

"he's still weird."

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You don't understand.

"You don't understand."

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I think we were meant for each other.

"I think we were meant for each other."

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You never even met the freak.

"You never even met the freak."

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A ticket stub from Hard to Kill?

"A ticket stub from Hard to Kill?"

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We both went through our Steven Seagal phases at the exact same time.

"We both went through our Steven Seagal phases at the exact same time."

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That fat fraud's a disgrace to the martial arts.

"That fat fraud's a disgrace to the martial arts."

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back then, we were just crazy kids.

"back then, we were just crazy kids."

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You know what?

"You know what?"

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You don't know him like I do, all right?

"You don't know him like I do, all right?"

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Cigarettes.

"Cigarettes."

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You don't smoke. Beth...

"You don't smoke. Beth..."

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I know. I was pretty mad at him for a while too,

"I know. I was pretty mad at him for a while too,"

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but then I found this.

"but then I found this."

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and I'll walk you to Bellevue after work?

"and I'll walk you to Bellevue after work?"

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The guy's a freak

"The guy's a freak"

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just for keeping so much crap in his desk.

"just for keeping so much crap in his desk."

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I know, I know.

"I know, I know."

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I've got to talk to him about being neater, and I will.

"I've got to talk to him about being neater, and I will."

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But you know what?

"But you know what?"

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I'm sloppy too.

"I'm sloppy too."

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Do you have a minute?

"Do you have a minute?"

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Okay, we can settle this New Hampshire thing right now.

"Okay, we can settle this New Hampshire thing right now."

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there's no nuts in here. It's a joke can.

"there's no nuts in here. It's a joke can."

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Okay, I have asked Catherine

"Okay, I have asked Catherine"

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and I'm presenting them to you in this sealed envelope.

"and I'm presenting them to you in this sealed envelope."

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Oh, this is--

"Oh, this is--"

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That's cool. All right.

"That's cool. All right."

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Well, then...

"Well, then..."

NewsRadio

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