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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Keenan Vortex (S04E04)

"And I walked into the tavern"
Silicon Valley
"Guess what. I walked right up to the barmaid,"
Silicon Valley
"and I just looked at her for a really long time."
Silicon Valley
"So stoked you guys liked it. I hacked it together last summer"
Silicon Valley
"But if you think that was cool,"
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"Well, enjoy it while it lasts,"
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"just 'cause, you know, this can be a tough business."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, no thanks. No, I'm... I'm not a VR guy."
Silicon Valley
"Richard doesn't like things that are cool or fun or taste good."
Silicon Valley
"Ah, come on. You're gonna do it."
Silicon Valley
"Look at him. He's gonna do it."
Silicon Valley
"It's gonna be awesome! Come on! You're doing it!"
Silicon Valley
"- Come on, come on. After you. - Okay, sure. I guess. Fine."
Silicon Valley
"You really vomited a lot..."
Silicon Valley
"- and, like, immediately. - Yeah. Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Look, anyway, about that data storage deal?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh. Yeah. If Erlich says it works, that's good enough for me. Let's do it."
Silicon Valley
"Perfect. That's great."
Silicon Valley
"Um... well, I guess we should get back to the house,"
Silicon Valley
"- draw up some paperwork for that. - Mm-hmm."
Silicon Valley
"We should be able to pull everything together by Monday."
Silicon Valley
"Is it cool if we hang out, just to, like, play around with the VR some more?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay, but I'm sure Keenan's busy."
Silicon Valley
"Nah! You guys should stay."
Silicon Valley
"What are you telling me? Box Two is delayed?"
Silicon Valley
"but then this cold snap happened."
Silicon Valley
"Apparently there was frost on the loading dock"
Silicon Valley
"at our microprocessor plant in Acton."
Silicon Valley
"and melted down the entire facility."
Silicon Valley
"The driver was incinerated, instantly."
Silicon Valley
"I see. Well, our thoughts and prayers, obviously,"
Silicon Valley
"Guys. Hey. I'm not Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"You can be honest with me? How many days will this set us back?"
Silicon Valley
"We're going to miss delivery of product..."
Silicon Valley
"by two quarters."
Silicon Valley
"in front of an audience of thousands,"
Silicon Valley
"and deliver a keynote presentation built entirely"
Silicon Valley
"around the release of Box Two!"
Silicon Valley
"I was going to descend onto the stage,"
Silicon Valley
"in a giant box."
Silicon Valley
"Jack-in-the-box."
Silicon Valley
"were gonna come out and box"
Silicon Valley
"These are world-class puns! Now I got nothing!"
Silicon Valley
"Hello?"
Silicon Valley
"Hey, guys!"
Silicon Valley
"- Have you been here all weekend? - Is that the Sushi guy?"
Silicon Valley
"Matching pajamas."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, we're not gonna wear the same thing three days straight."
Silicon Valley
"No. No... no nausea at all."
Silicon Valley
"What'd you do? Did you reduce the latency?"
Silicon Valley
"Dinesh and Gilfoyle helped me integrate"
Silicon Valley
"your middle-out compression algorithm into my codec."
Silicon Valley
"- I'm sorry. What? - It's off the charts now, man!"
Silicon Valley
"We were even able to push the barmaid to the cloud."
Silicon Valley
"Hang on. I have something for ya."
Silicon Valley
"What the fuck?"
Silicon Valley
"and he was like, "We should try it," and he said we could delete it,"
Silicon Valley
"and then he started getting really excited."
Silicon Valley
"And then he said, you know, "You're doing it," a bunch of times,"
Silicon Valley
"The VR is rad now."
Silicon Valley
"You are wearing the exact same pajamas as Dinesh,"
Silicon Valley
"You have been sucked entirely into his little... Keenan vortex."
Silicon Valley
"this isn't a good look."
Silicon Valley
"Just... just hear Keenan out, okay?"
Silicon Valley
"- What's this? - It's an offer."
Silicon Valley
"- I want to acquire Pied Piper. - Oh."
Silicon Valley
"five days before Gavin Belson's Hoolicon keynote."
Silicon Valley
"Now, if he can pull something together that fast, certainly I can."
Silicon Valley
"Well, sir, I really don't see the value"
Silicon Valley
"in you comparing yourself so closely to Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"Meaning what exactly?"
Silicon Valley
"Nothing. Just that..."
Silicon Valley
"he's considered the greatest showman the tech world has ever seen."
Silicon Valley
"We've blown away"
Silicon Valley
"and that's been certified by NIST/CSE, as you can see..."
Silicon Valley
"- Wow. - there."
Silicon Valley
"Look at the confidence, the poise."
Silicon Valley
"Look at the stage presence."
Silicon Valley
"is accessible... here we go..."
Silicon Valley
"- there. - How could I top that?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh, I don't think anyone ever will."
Silicon Valley
"- the only two people in the world. - Hoover."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, sir."
Silicon Valley
"We've taken secure authentication"
Silicon Valley
"- to a whole other level. - Jack Barker..."
Silicon Valley
"you're gonna need a miracle."
Silicon Valley
"and the embryonic state of our network,"
Silicon Valley
"But we're not for sale, guys."
Silicon Valley
"for a long time on a tiny boat,"
Silicon Valley
"And now, through sheer luck,"
Silicon Valley
"Let's get off in Hawaii."
Silicon Valley
"- What's so good about Hawaii? - Have you never been?"
Silicon Valley
"- No. - It's very nice."
Silicon Valley
"and you..."
Silicon Valley
"are different than that."
Silicon Valley
"I want to go to Hawaii."
Silicon Valley
"Fucking Keenan Feldspar."
Silicon Valley
"How dare he put me in this position?"
Silicon Valley
"Everything just comes so easy to him."
Silicon Valley
"and just, "Oh, Keenan Feldspar gets whatever he wants,""
Silicon Valley
"And I will sleep in the bilge with the vermin,"
Silicon Valley
"And if duty requires, I will stand on deck,"
Silicon Valley
"and I will salute you as we sink beneath the waves."
Silicon Valley
"But as poor as our odds are,"
Silicon Valley
"I'm worried that if we turn down this offer,"
Silicon Valley
"we will lose the rest of our crew,"
Silicon Valley
"So, you're saying that"
Silicon Valley
"if I say no to this..."
Silicon Valley
"I risk having a mutiny on my hands."
Silicon Valley
"Thanks."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck you, Keenan Feldspar."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, but after crunching the old numbies, um,"
Silicon Valley
"there's no way we could make an acquisition work"
Silicon Valley
"So, Keenan, as you know, the best is expensive."
Silicon Valley
"This is more than I just took in funding from Bream-Hall,"
Silicon Valley
"and you want all cash."
Silicon Valley
"- I can't do that. - Really?"
Silicon Valley
"That sucks. I wanted it too, very badly."
Silicon Valley
"But, um... you know, what they say in life,"
Silicon Valley
"This feeling sucks."
Silicon Valley
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