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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Keenan Vortex (S04E04)

"Keenan Feldspar signed his term sheet."
Silicon Valley
"Fantastic!"
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"Last night was..."
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"Hey! Come on in."
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"Fuck yeah!"
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"♪♪"
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"Wow. So, you get shares in the company."
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"for sure, get to keep your shitty desk job."
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"Congratulations, but, Erlich,"
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"can you please turn on the heat? It's freezing in here."
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"Hey, have you seen Keenan's demo?"
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"He gave me one of the first opportunities to shit myself over it."
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"Envious? Me? Of who? Keenan Feldspar?"
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"Of course. Keenan was born with a golden horseshoe up his ass,"
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"while you sit here toiling away in an icebox you call your home office,"
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"you're referring to is your house, okay?"
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"What?"
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"so we've already exceeded our monthly server budget."
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"We can't afford this."
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"- Worse. It's cold outside. - Okay. So?"
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"Everyone else in my division is getting gouged"
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"on their storage and bandwidth fees right now,"
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"but thanks to you, I look like a genius."
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"No, no, that's okay."
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"Fuck! Maybe you are cursed."
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"Problematic?"
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"Admit it! We're fucked."
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"Point being, we can find another customer,"
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"Yeah, and as CFO, I should tell you we've already done that seven times."
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"that means shit..."
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"Fill me in on the details of your little proposal."
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"Pitch."
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"You know, the Heisman trophy from athletics."
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"and on top of the hill, there was a tavern."
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"I'm not one to gush, but the possibilities"
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"of your consequence-free reality are darkly promising."
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"It's gorgeous."
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"Plus, it makes him queasy."
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"Wow."
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"- Really? Okay. - Yeah."
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"He put in a fresh keg."
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"- It's so warm in here. - That would be the subfloor heating."
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"That's nice."
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"We were already facing some design and production challenges,"
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"So, it's cold outside."
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"Well, a semitruck slid right through the door and hit the main breaker panel"
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"for Hoolicon, right?"
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"You realize Hoolicon is in one week, right?"
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"I mean, it's my first Hoolicon as CEO of this company."
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"I... I'm supposed to get up on stage,"
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"Boom!"
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"Then Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather"
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"Wow. I didn't feel sick at all, not once."
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"Yeah, I felt fine the entire time."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"to this asshole without even running it by me first?"
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"- Are you serious? - We were just hanging out,"
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"- and it was so exciting. - And it worked."
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"Gilfoyle, "rad"?"
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"I grant you, with..."
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"the benefit of even a second's distance,"
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"I don't know. I think we look rad."
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"- On what? - Here you go, Richard."
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"I mean, just look at him."
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"through the drop-down menu..."
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"When he looked at you, you felt like you were"
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"Sorry, sir."
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"Anyone here use our enterprise server?"
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"Anyone care to talk secure biometrics?"
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"Well, considering our looming debts,"
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"this is a very generous offer."
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"and there is no wind."
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"Now, we can continue sailing into the unknown,"
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"Okay, everything Keenan touches turns to gold,"
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"He invents one little thing, and then he's gonna make a billion dollars,"
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"and if that happens, you will lose everything,"
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"Richard. Your algorithm."
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"Aye, Captain."
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"Your counteroffer here is really, really high."
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"you know, what with the patent and the IP."
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"And you said yourself, my guys are the best."
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"Weird."
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"I wanted this to happen, but it didn't."
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"To us?"
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"Anyhoo, as soon as Erlich comes in"
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"and brings us our signed data storage contract"
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"You heard the man-child right."
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"What?"
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"when you first told me that number,"
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"but I mostly felt pretty okay."
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"This is a guy who knows how valuable he is!"
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"It got me to thinking that perhaps I had undervalued my own company,"
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"especially because now I have this baller algorithm"
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"Ed Chen liked it so much, he offered to triple the Bream-Hall deal."
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"Ten minutes later, we were in a handshake deal at Raviga."
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"and make a fuck-ton of money while we're doing it!"
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"Jared, there's no pink glasses!"
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"Richard, I know you think I'm a bullshit artist."
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"and they don't even realize they're doing it."
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"Richard, you have the greatest technology that I've ever seen."
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"We're gonna be fucking cutting class and crushing ass."
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"You know you're doing it. Oh, I can see it."
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"Jared, here we go. Oh, I'm just gonna wait."
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"Uh, no, Jared, we're... we're not okay."
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"Sorry, it's a bit nutty around here."
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"Yeah. Well, I just wanna say,"
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"how sorry I am that Erlich flaked on you guys."
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"Yeah. No. Look, he's copped up to all that."
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"Well, you don't think his discussing the vortex"
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"is just a way of pulling you into the vortex?"
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"No. Wh-why would he... wh..."
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"Yeah."
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"but it's gonna save you from making a big mistake."
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"But the biggest reason is that we realized once we took a look under the hood,"
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"Keenan's tech is dog shit."
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"No. No, it's not dog shit."
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"uh, where you meet this barmaid,"
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"Isn't that why Keenan has acquired us?"
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"No, he just wants you to make the demo better"
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"Richard, you have to tell Keenan that you're not gonna take this deal."
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