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Clips from 30 Rock - Black Tie (S01E01)

"When I'm the queen of Australia, I'll have him executed."
30 Rock
"Ladies und gentlemen,"
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"may I present His Royal Highness."
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"The Duke of Thuringia,"
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"Earl of the duchy of Westphalia,"
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"Prince Gerhardt Messerschmitt Rammstein von Hap!"
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"Thank you."
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"Thank you all, dear friends..."
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"Who's Snow White now?"
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"7:45, and I'm still awake."
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"That Gerhardt is amazing, isn't he?"
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"Most people in his situation would be angry with their family"
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"for the centuries of inbreeding, but not Gerhardt."
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"He's too busy trying to stave off infection."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- My ex-wife. - Oh, I forgot. You were married."
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"Wow. She's gorgeous. And surprisingly age-appropriate."
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"Damn it. I was told she was in Paris."
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"Party of the year, that woman turns up, and I'm all alone."
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"Thanks."
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"Johnny."
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"Bianca."
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"Yes, of course. This is my live-in girlfriend, Lemon."
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"- Elizabeth. - Elizabeth... Lemon."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"And how did you two meet?"
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"It was part of the Big Brother, Little Sister program."
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"Congratulations, John. She's much sharper than your last girl."
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"And unlike the rest of Jack's girlfriends, I have all my original pans."
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"Oh, hang on to this one, John. She's a keeper."
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"Yeah. I'm a keeper."
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"So now it's a date? I thought I could never be your date, Jack."
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"I thought no one would ever believe it because I'm so grotesque."
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"Thank you for not embarrassing me."
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"Who? Gerhardt? Really?"
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"His highness is quite taken und invites you to dine next to him."
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"That's... flattering. Are you sure that he meant me?"
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"His highness is attempting to wink at you."
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"There you are. I need your help."
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"I've been asked to dine with His Majesty."
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"If you're looking to sneak out the window, it doesn't open. I already tried it."
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"Should I say I'm still a virgin?"
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"- You're actually considering this? - Of course I'm considering it."
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"I'm not gonna be gorgeous forever."
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"Who knows how long this show will last. And I have no other skills."
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"I need to find someone who can take care of me."
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"Yeah, I don't think Gerhardt can take care of you."
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"- And I can get past someone's looks. - Since when?"
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"You've already made up your mind, haven't you?"
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"You're not even listening, are you? Poop. Monkey butt."
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"No, you're a good friend. And thank you."
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"- You enjoying yourself, Pete? - Actua..."
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"Actually, Tracy, I'm trying to get some work done here."
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"Hey, Supersize, take care of that dude. That there's my friend."
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"Our tank broke down."
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"He killed 14 Germans so we could get the hell out of there."
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"No."
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"No, actually, I'm just a producer on on Tracy's show."
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"- You're a producer? - Yeah."
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"Have you ever seen the movie "Secret Touchings"?"
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"- I was a scientist in that. - No, I'm not familiar with that."
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"Well, I just... You know, I run the show."
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"Mr Hornberger. This is shocking."
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"Are you gonna sit down? They put out lobster tails, and I want to eat yours."
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"Isn't she beautiful?"
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"I had to keep my tuxedo in my glove compartment."
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"Sexually, she wanted it four or five times a day, always standing up."
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"You're kidding, right?"
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"She left me, Lemon."
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"'Cause I was never enough for her. So now I keep it simple."
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"Nothing but endless, meaningless one-night stands"
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"That's heartbreaking."
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"And her. She just keeps getting better."
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"She's lost weight. She cut her hair."
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"Look at her over there, taunting me."
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"Seeing her so happy and normal makes me crazy."
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"Is she coming over here? If she does, I'm gonna do something."
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"OK, come on. Let's go dance."
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"- No, no, no. No. - Yeah. Come on. it's a fast song."
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"Oh. That tickles."
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"Oh, my dear Jenna. You are exquisite!"
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"Sadly, because my body does not produce joint fluid,"
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"I cannot."
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"But I would enjoy watching you dance for me."
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"All right, then."
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"Jazz!"
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"Tap'"
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"Jitterbug!"
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"Charleston!"
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"Twirl!"
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"Twirl again!"
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"Keep twirling!"
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"Everyone thinks I'm 5'5", but I'm only 5'4"."
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"Hey, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just dancing, Kenneth."
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"Do you remember the movie "Footloose", where those evil kids won in the end?"
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"You're going to make a mistake tonight."
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"You gonna make a mistake tonight!"
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"Remember the vows you and your wife took in that church."
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"- Botanical garden. - Botanical garden."
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"You promised fidelity."
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"- Lick her face. - Think of God."
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"I'm just trying to have some fun for the first time in, like, 10 years."
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"Ladies und gentlemen,"
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"if you will please direct your attention to the centre of the room,"
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"it is now time for the cake."
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"- You're 25? - Yes. Can you believe it?"
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"You speak German?"
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"Is there something going on between Jenna and Gerhardt?"
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"Yes."
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"Bianca."
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"Vikki! No. This is the men's room."
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"I know. I just wanted to talk to you."
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"Oh, no. You don't need to do that. We should get back to the party. Right?"
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"I mean... Shouldn't we? I mean... Right? The party?"
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"I've never done it in a men's bathroom before."
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"Well, in this building."
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"You are..."
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"...smooth"
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"Mr Hornberger!"
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"You're making the biggest mistake of your life."
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