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Clips from Friends - The One with the Dozen Lasagnas (S01E01)

"Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had."
Friends
"Paolo made a pass at me."
Friends
"So, what do you think?"
Friends
"I know."
Friends
"So how does this work? Gonna balance the plates on these little heads?"
Friends
"Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on."
Friends
"Heads up, Ross."
Friends
"Score! You suck."
Friends
"Are you okay?"
Friends
"I need some milk."
Friends
"I've got milk."
Friends
"Here you go."
Friends
"Better?"
Friends
"No."
Friends
"Ugh! I feel so stupid."
Friends
"I think about the other day, with you guys, you know."
Friends
"And I was all, "Oh, Paolo. He's so great."
Friends
"He makes me feel so..." Ugh!"
Friends
"God."
Friends
"I'm so embarrassed."
Friends
"I'm the one he hit on."
Friends
"I unleashed him on you. If I'd never met him..."
Friends
"- I'm so sorry. - No, I'm sorry."
Friends
"BOTH: No, I'm sorry."
Friends
"Oh, wait. Oh."
Friends
"- What are we sorry about? - I don't know."
Friends
"Right. He's the pig."
Friends
"- Such a pig. - Oh, God, he's such a pig."
Friends
"- Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig... - Yeah, like a..."
Friends
"Oh, but he was my pig man."
Friends
"How did I not see this?"
Friends
"Oh, I know!"
Friends
"Because..."
Friends
"...he's gorgeous."
Friends
"And he's charming."
Friends
"- And when he looks at you... - Okay. Okay, Pheebs."
Friends
"The end."
Friends
"Ugh. God."
Friends
"No, trust me, it's much better that I know."
Friends
"Uh, I just liked it better before. It was better."
Friends
"You know, Paolo's over there right now, so..."
Friends
"Yeah, we should get over there and see if she's okay."
Friends
"Just one second."
Friends
"- Whoo! Score. - Game. Us."
Friends
"Yes."
Friends
"Come on, Pheebs."
Friends
"Whoo."
Friends
"Well, it looks like, uh, we kicked your butts."
Friends
"No, no. She kicked our butts."
Friends
"You could be on the Olympic "Standing There" team."
Friends
"Come on. Two on one."
Friends
"What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy."
Friends
"It's time for you to swoop in."
Friends
"What? Now?"
Friends
"Yes. Now is when you swoop."
Friends
"You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out..."
Friends
"...the first guy Rachel sees is you."
Friends
"You're like... Like the anti-Paolo."
Friends
"My Catholic friend is right."
Friends
"She's distraught. You're there for her."
Friends
"You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in:"
Friends
"The Age of Ross."
Friends
"RACHEL: See this? See?"
Friends
"[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]"
Friends
"- How's it going? MONICA: Don't stare."
Friends
"She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony."
Friends
"Okay, that is either, "How could you?" Or "Enormous breasts.""
Friends
"Here he comes."
Friends
"Uh, I am, uh..."
Friends
"...to say goodbye."
Friends
"Paolo."
Friends
"I really hate you for what you did to Rachel. But I still have five of these..."
Friends
"...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles."
Friends
"[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]"
Friends
"Paolo, I just wanna tell you..."
Friends
"...and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say..."
Friends
"PHOEBE: Oh. Just look at her."
Friends
"Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us should go out there..."
Friends
"...so she's not overwhelmed. - Oh, right."
Friends
"And I really think it should be me."
Friends
"BOTH: Hey."
Friends
"You all right?"
Friends
"[SIGHS]"
Friends
"Come here."
Friends
"Listen..."
Friends
"...you deserve so much better than him."
Friends
"You know? I mean, you..."
Friends
"You should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you."
Friends
"Ross..."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"I'm so sick of guys."
Friends
"I don't want to look at another guy."
Friends
"I don't want to think about another guy."
Friends
"I don't even want to be near another guy."
Friends
"- Ross, you're so great. - Oh, ha, ha."
Friends
"MONICA: Are you all right? PHOEBE: Are you okay?"
Friends
"Medium. Heh."
Friends
"- Any cookies left? - Yeah."
Friends
"Heh. See, Rach, um..."
Friends
"See, I don't think swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't."
Friends
"I think what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process."
Friends
"No. No. I just need to be by myself for a while."
Friends
"You know? I just gotta figure out what I want."
Friends
"See, because not all guys out there are gonna be a Paolo."
Friends
"No, I know. I know."
Friends
"- What? - What?"
Friends
"[STAMMERING] I'm having a boy?"
Friends
"Uh, no."
Friends
"No. In fact, you're not having a boy."
Friends
"I'm having a boy."
Friends
"[STAMMERING] Am I having a boy?"
Friends
"- You're having a boy. - Aah!"
Friends
"- I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy. - Yes!"
Friends
"- What? - What is it?"
Friends
"I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy."
Friends
"Hey."
Friends
"I'm having a son."
Friends
"Um..."
Friends
"Yes. And that would be a shutdown."
Friends
"[IN UNISON] Shutout!"
Friends
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