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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Cleveland's Angels (S01E01)

"Club Nugget."
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"Both of those individually are names of porno magazines."
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"Oui, Hustler. It's also the name of this casino's exclusive VIP player's club."
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"How about another blackjack for this brown Brown?"
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"It's Cleveland."
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"- Cleveland. - Oh-ho-ho-ho."
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"You had a good 12 minutes."
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"I don't know what happened."
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"Shoot, Mr. Brown..."
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"...I was under the impression that you were a high roller, but clearly, I was mistaken."
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"Would it be possible for me to wager in furs..."
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"...or chalices or Elizabethan marital aids?"
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"- Sure. - Of these things, I have none."
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"Would it be possible for me to wager a sofa cushion..."
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"...with a stripe of human feces on it..."
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"...which has been facing down for, oh, some months now?"
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"Of these things, I have two."
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"I'll find some money."
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"All-you-can-eat, my furry ass."
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"Money, money..."
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"Junior's piggy bank."
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"Mixed nuts and a pickle?"
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"What was that?"
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"I said, does your husband play cards? Hee-hee-hee."
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"But this is my stepdaughter's college money you're talking about."
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"Or I'm thinking about."
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"Or whatever's going on here."
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"Oh, what's $2000 gonna get her anyway?"
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"Half a semester of clown college?"
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"...like at the University of Delaware?"
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"- Yes! That's cool! - UD! UD!"
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"Well, it's statistically impossible."
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"And they do say you're supposed to chase your bets."
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"That's what the casino owners say."
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"Mr. Brown, 12 showing."
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"My plum suit. My plums."
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"Twenty-two, bust."
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"Roberta's college money. Ohhh..."
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"Oh, all this and no one to share it with."
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"Mr. Biggins?"
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"- A Mr. Brown to see you. - Thank you, Miss Bazoombas."
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"Bowm."
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"Yes. Now, what can I do for you, Mr. Brown?"
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"- May I please have my money back? - No."
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"- Please? - Yes."
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"- Really? - No."
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"- Well, I've done all I can do. - Hold up."
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"- You think you could bartend? - Of course I could bartend."
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"Hey, buddy. You guys sell ice?"
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"You're an Eskimo, aren't you?"
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"Yeah. I know. Thirty-seven words for snow, whatever."
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"- I'm in a middle of a party. Ran out of ice. - Is the party in your igloo?"
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"No, it's in my condo, and that's offensive."
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"Just gonna sneak in here. No one will be the wiser."
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"Ow! Bitch. Drat your weights."
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"Spike TV's Hundred Most Jarring Noises!"
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"- Number 57. Fifty-six. - No, no, no."
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"- Fifty-five. Fifty-four. - Quiet. Quiet."
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"- Gonna wake the... Shut up. Shut up. - Fifty-three. Fifty-two."
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"Cleveland, where have you been all night?"
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"You caught me."
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"It was gonna be a surprise..."
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"...but for the next three months..."
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"...I'll be, um, taking night classes to earn my degree..."
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"...as a court stenographer."
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"What? Why?"
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"Because sometimes, a man's gotta earn a little extra money for his family..."
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"...by typing on a weird little keyboard."
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"Well, look at you putting this family first."
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"Having no visible emotional reaction to often quite startling testimony."
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"Mm. My strong, silent court stenographer."
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"Why don't you bring those fast fingers upstairs..."
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"...and see if your quick brown fox can jump over my lazy dog?"
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"I find the defendant, Donna Tubbs, sexy."
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"Can I get extra time for bad behavior?"
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"My name's Cleveland Brown, by the way."
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"Oh, that's funny. Ha!"
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"He's funny. You're funny. Ha!"
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"He's funny."
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"Cleveland, you know Ted Lange? He played the bartender on The Love Boat."
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"Now he's playing the guy who's taking your job."
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"I'm also playing Walter Lee Younger from A Raisin in the Sun..."
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"...at the Sarasota Playhouse, July 15 through the 29th."
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"Cleveland, a bunch of kids were throwing Alka-Seltzers..."
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"...to seagulls on the lido deck."
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"No. That's your job."
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"When you're done, clean the urine troughs under the dealers..."
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"...clean out the cage of the chicken who plays tic-tack-toe."
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"If something stinks, clean it."
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"Hey, boss, some bear just voided himself all over the buffet."
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"Get to it."
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"Roberta's college."
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"Cleveland, I'm gonna need you to watch last night's Celebrity Apprentice..."
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"...and tell me what happened."
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"Oh, well, someone must not want his paycheck."
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"What the...? Twenty-seven bucks for a week's work?"
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"What are you complaining about?"
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"You're making the same as the chicken, and she's been here three years."
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"- Does the chicken have benefits? - No."
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"Well, of course. I lose again."
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"Terrific. Fantastic."
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"I'm having a great time."
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"I'll split them, because that's what you're supposed to do."
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"And lose twice. Beautiful."
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"Good. Take them away. I'm out."
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"Fair enough. Some guys just don't have the stones."
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"You think I don't have the stones? Guess what. Stones are on tour."
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"Next stop, this table. Paint it blackjack."
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"He's betting his car? Why didn't I do that?"
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"Okay, hit me."
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"- Hey, what the hell? - Oh, so sorry. Let me get that."
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"That's the same Chinese or Japanese..."
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"...or Vietnamese or Filipino or Korean..."
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"...or guy from San Francisco who spilled his drink on me."
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"Wha...? A crooked casino?"
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"Sorry about that. Here's your card, sir."
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"Holt, no."
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"No, not my car! Apollonia!"
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"Hey, now your sports coupe is a chicken coop."
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"Shut up, Tim."
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