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Clips from Family Guy - Death Has a Shadow (S01E01)

"Return my mind-control device or be destroyed."
Family Guy
"You just want your toy back."
Family Guy
"Okay, here you go, honey."
Family Guy
"Yes... Well, victory is mine!"
Family Guy
"Damn you all!"
Family Guy
"Hello?"
Family Guy
"I have nothing to say to you, Peter."
Family Guy
"Peter, you lied to me, you betrayed my trust."
Family Guy
"Compared to that, welfare fraud doesn't even matter."
Family Guy
"Really? Let's hope the judge feels that way."
Family Guy
"This court will come to order."
Family Guy
"...the sooner they'd catch their mistake."
Family Guy
"Why are we making a federal case out of this?"
Family Guy
"Don't you think you should have alerted the government..."
Family Guy
"...of such a gross overpayment?"
Family Guy
"I was gonna call them. But my favorite episode..."
Family Guy
"...of Different Strokes was on. The one where Arnold and Dudley..."
Family Guy
"...get sexually molested by the bike shop owner?"
Family Guy
"Yes. Stay the hell away from that bike shop."
Family Guy
"Okay, everybody, I feel really bad about what I did. I just..."
Family Guy
"I don't know. I saw the one chance..."
Family Guy
"...l'd ever have to give my family the things they deserve."
Family Guy
"I guess I screwed it up. I cheated the government."
Family Guy
"And worst of all, I lied to my wife."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, honey."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, I think your words have touched us all."
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"- No! - No!"
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"Yeah!"
Family Guy
"Excuse me, Your Honor? Yes?"
Family Guy
"Look, my husband may be a bit thoughtless at times."
Family Guy
"He may even be downright stupid."
Family Guy
"...because he wanted to be a good husband and father."
Family Guy
"But what he needs to remember is that we love him."
Family Guy
"And no matter what, I'll always stand by him."
Family Guy
"That was very moving, Mrs. Griffin. Okay, you can go to jail with him!"
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"...l'm completely dependent upon those wretched drones for sustenance."
Family Guy
"Let us see how the constitution of American justice fares..."
Family Guy
"...against the device!"
Family Guy
"Is that your boy?"
Family Guy
"What? Yeah. That's Stewie."
Family Guy
"Gosh. I can't separate a kid that young from his father. It's unjudgmenly."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"That was a crazy one, Dick."
Family Guy
"It sure was. In this next blooper from Joanie Loves Chachi..."
Family Guy
"...watch what happens when Scott Baio tries to say:"
Family Guy
"What does your mom do?"
Family Guy
"It's good to have you home, Peter."
Family Guy
"Honey, I knew everything would turn out okay."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. I got a way to get money."
Family Guy
"Not another welfare scam?"
Family Guy
"No. Minority scholarship."
Family Guy
"No. Are you insane?"
Family Guy
"No. Don't think so."
Family Guy
"Absolutely outrageous."
Family Guy
"Okay, disability claim."
Family Guy
"Guys, our money problems are over! We're officially on welfare."
Family Guy
"Try it again. "I'm caca for Cocoa Puffs.""
Family Guy
"You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates."
Family Guy
"Football!"
Family Guy
"- All right. You're free. - Wow! Can you give me my job back?"
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"Tells you when the kids mess with the dial."
Family Guy
"Man. Your clock won't flush."
Family Guy
"Not a word to your mom about me getting canned."
Family Guy
"This is perfect!"
Family Guy
"Maybe somebody down there was drinking, too."
Family Guy
"You won't believe it, Mom! Dad's getting..."
Family Guy
"I gave the money back. Why are you still steamed?"
Family Guy