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Clips from Family Guy - Death Has a Shadow (S01E01)

"You're spending money on food again?"
Family Guy
"Lois, we just had dinner."
Family Guy
"I enjoyed it so much, I thought we'd eat again tomorrow."
Family Guy
"Since when are you so concerned about our food budget?"
Family Guy
"I just..."
Family Guy
"Lois, this is really hard for me to say, but..."
Family Guy
"What is it, Peter?"
Family Guy
"- You're getting kind of fat. - What?"
Family Guy
"It's just... It's not healthy."
Family Guy
"Peter, I do my Jane Fonda workout tape three times a week."
Family Guy
"Peter, what the hell is the matter with you?"
Family Guy
"Honey, if there's something wrong, you can tell me."
Family Guy
"Tell him to keep quiet. He's in too deep."
Family Guy
"I don't know."
Family Guy
"Where's the other guy?"
Family Guy
"This is unbelievable!"
Family Guy
"Well, well, Mother! We meet again!"
Family Guy
"Not tightly enough it would seem. And now you contemptible harpy..."
Family Guy
"...I shall end your reign of matriarchal tyranny."
Family Guy
"Right now it's bedtime."
Family Guy
"Blast you and your estrogenical treachery!"
Family Guy
"Sweet dreams, kiddo."
Family Guy
"You have the power to end this!"
Family Guy
"How'd she take it?"
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"I hate lying to Lois. It's just..."
Family Guy
"She'll probably sense something's amiss when they repossess your house."
Family Guy
"Jeez, Brian! That's a great idea!"
Family Guy
"Okay, do you have any disabilities, past injuries, physical anomalies?"
Family Guy
"I didn't have gas for the first time until I was 30."
Family Guy
"Come on, help me scatter car parts on the front lawn."
Family Guy
"How much are we getting?"
Family Guy
"Wait. That's a comma, not a decimal."
Family Guy
"Whoops."
Family Guy
"Stewie, why don't you play in the other room?"
Family Guy
"No dessert for you, young man."
Family Guy
"...$150,000 a week from the government?"
Family Guy
"This is why I don't vote."
Family Guy
"Mr. President, why do you think the public supports you..."
Family Guy
"...during these impeachment proceedings?"
Family Guy
"Peter, you might want to call the Welfare Commission."
Family Guy
"That check is obviously an oversight."
Family Guy
"Not necessarily. Maybe I'm like their one millionth customer."
Family Guy
"- Yeah. - On what?"
Family Guy
"No. I just rented it. But they're gonna be ticked."
Family Guy
"The penis broke off while I was loading it into the car."
Family Guy
"I shall call you "Eduardo.""
Family Guy
"Peter, how can we afford this?"
Family Guy
"A big raise!"
Family Guy
"Peter, that's wonderful!"
Family Guy
"But, Dad, I thought..."
Family Guy
"...just for keeping their big mouths shut. Come on, guys."
Family Guy
"I'll buy us the most expensive meal we've ever had."
Family Guy
"Yeah. I'd like 6,000 chicken fa-ji-tas, please."
Family Guy
"I beg your pardon?"
Family Guy
"6,000 chicken fa-ji-tas."
Family Guy
"And a "So-sage" McBiscuit, please."
Family Guy
"Peter, what's the big surprise?"
Family Guy
"I got you your own jester."
Family Guy
"Good to be here in New England."
Family Guy
"And what's the deal with "New" England anyway?"
Family Guy
"It's over 200 years old! Last time I checked, that's not that new."
Family Guy
"I can finally afford to give my little girl the lips she's always dreamed of."
Family Guy
"I don't know, Peter. Lips are one thing."
Family Guy
"It makes him happy."
Family Guy
"It's a moat."
Family Guy
"...but my husband thinks our family needs extra protection now that..."
Family Guy
"...we're rich."
Family Guy
"Does it work?"
Family Guy
"Congratulations in all your success. Here's your welfare check."
Family Guy
"What the..."
Family Guy
"Hi, honey."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"I know what I did was wrong. But I only did it for you and the kids."
Family Guy
"Except for the jukebox in the bathroom. That was for Peter."
Family Guy
"Yeah, from the American taxpayers. I am so mad I can't see straight."
Family Guy
"No problem. We got money to get that fixed..."
Family Guy
"...with enough left for us to buy our way out of any trouble our kids might get into."
Family Guy
"Just like the Kennedys."
Family Guy
"I feel like I don't even know you anymore, Peter."
Family Guy
"...just by spending money!"
Family Guy
"Boy, she's pretty pissed."
Family Guy
"Who thought fraud would be one of her buttons?"
Family Guy
"Why have a jukebox in the john if your wife's mad at you?"
Family Guy
"Peter, you may have to return that money to the taxpayers."
Family Guy
"But I gotta make sure Lois knows I'm doing it."
Family Guy
"I need an event with thousands of people."
Family Guy
"Something that everybody cares about."
Family Guy
"We might have to leave Rhode Island for this."
Family Guy
"Pat, it's safe to say that all these fans came out here..."
Family Guy
"...to watch a game of football!"
Family Guy
"John, we're in commercial."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I know. I'm just making conversation. Come on."
Family Guy
"Yeah, America's great, isn't it? Except for the South."
Family Guy
"Boy, I hope Lois is watching."
Family Guy
"Okay, taxpayers, here you go!"
Family Guy
"Looks like we're getting some rain here tonight, John."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Hey, wait a second! This is no ordinary rain!"
Family Guy
"It's some kind of crazy money rain!"
Family Guy
"Man. I hope this works. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to start dropping these."
Family Guy
"The crowd is storming the field! This is pandemonium!"
Family Guy
"Have you ever seen anything like this, Pat?"
Family Guy
"Just once. The 1975 Cotton Bowl. This is the old "trying to make amends..."
Family Guy
""...for spending $150,000 a week in misappropriated welfare funds" play."
Family Guy
"How was your shower?"
Family Guy
"I tell you, all of the rumors about dropping the soap are true."
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"It was slipping everywhere. Guys were laughing."
Family Guy
"There's the guy that couldn't hold the soap."
Family Guy
"That was classic."
Family Guy
"Boy. I really let Lois down this time."
Family Guy
"Do you think she'll wait for me?"
Family Guy
"...for crashing a blimp, no one would be married."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you're right. Okay, I got the top bunk."
Family Guy
"My collagen is wearing off."
Family Guy
"Honey, sagging lips are just nature's way..."
Family Guy
"What does it mean when your armpits cry stinky tears?"
Family Guy
"But hopefully not the kind who stays out all day and doesn't call..."
Family Guy
"...like your father who shall remain nameless."
Family Guy
"Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!"
Family Guy
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