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Clips from Friends - The One with Chandler's Dad (S07E07)

"Will there be a vegetarian option, you know, for me?"
Friends
"Yes. Definitely."
Friends
"What is it?"
Friends
"Dancing."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"I saw the Porsche parked out front."
Friends
"It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship."
Friends
"Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done."
Friends
"Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again?"
Friends
"- You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once."
Friends
"Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time."
Friends
"I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you talk about is the wedding."
Friends
"I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver."
Friends
"- Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly."
Friends
"You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver."
Friends
"In high school, that added up to head cheerleader."
Friends
"- Give me a brush. - The keys."
Friends
"If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom."
Friends
"Wow. That must be a very different view when he stands over an air vent."
Friends
"I don't even know the man. I haven't seen him in years."
Friends
"I think I want to trade circles."
Friends
"Why don't you just hand over the keys."
Friends
"Look."
Friends
"With you? Yeah, right."
Friends
"All right."
Friends
"Okay, okay, okay."
Friends
"- What are you doing? Get in the front. - In the death seat?!"
Friends
"- Ready to go? - My purse is at Monica's. I'll be back."
Friends
"So, you and Phoebe, huh?"
Friends
"- How long have you been going out? - Over a month."
Friends
"My dad didn't come to one of my Brownie meetings."
Friends
"No. I ate them."
Friends
"He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi."
Friends
"You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go."
Friends
"Okay, but I'm just doing this for you."
Friends
"I know. They were mine."
Friends
"No, no, wait. That's weird."
Friends
"There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man."
Friends
"I think more than you."
Friends
"I'm just saying only a man completely secure in his masculinity..."
Friends
"- I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever."
Friends
"Look all you want. There's nothing there."
Friends
"Would you calm down?"
Friends
"I'm driving 5 miles over the limit. They raised it by 10."
Friends
"Ross, you're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?"
Friends
"Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax."
Friends
"I am not horsing around, okay?"
Friends
"I am "Porsche-ing" around."
Friends
"Uh-oh."
Friends
"Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble."
Friends
"I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't..."
Friends
"...Helena Handbasket."
Friends
"Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over."
Friends
"- Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Come on!"
Friends
"I'm sure we won't get arrested for this."
Friends
"It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman."
Friends
"Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest."
Friends
"...ticket?"
Friends
"Dear Lord!"
Friends
"- Wow! - Here it comes."
Friends
"This is a great picture."
Friends
"Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed."
Friends
"- I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No."
Friends
"- Virgo? - No."
Friends
"- Sagittarius? - Yep."
Friends
"I knew it. I knew it!"
Friends
"In the meantime, let him drive. Does he have a license?"
Friends
"I can handle a stick!"
Friends
"Oh, much better. You're invisible now."
Friends
"No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry."
Friends
"Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face."
Friends
"How much of a man am I?"
Friends
"You have so many more choices than with men's underwear."
Friends
"Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace."
Friends
"You must have had terribly fascinating parents."
Friends
"I'm not very fond of New York."
Friends
"...sparkling something, honey, huh?"
Friends
"Congratulations."
Friends
"In two weeks."
Friends
"...ma'am."
Friends
"Thanks for making me do this."
Friends
"I think you've had enough fun for today."
Friends
"What does he want? I wasn't doing anything."
Friends
"Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position."
Friends
"Perhaps he didn't tarnish the badge enough."
Friends
"No, I don't, but it couldn't have been more than 60."
Friends
"I don't think I want to tarnish his badge."
Friends
"- You have a son. - I know. I know."
Friends
"I don't think so."
Friends
"I think I'll go with the chicken piccata instead of the Cornish game hen."
Friends
"Can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy for a spin."
Friends
"Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to drive it."
Friends
"He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hi."
Friends
"So much for the "you-can-drive-it but-don't-tell-Rachel" plan."
Friends
"There. I've blown both your secrets. Now we're even."
Friends
"There. That wasn't about the wedding."
Friends
"If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block."
Friends
"You got a couple hours?"
Friends
"Whew, that was a brisk ride."
Friends
"Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver."
Friends
"Did you see the look that girl just gave me?"
Friends
"Fine. It doesn't matter."
Friends
"We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad."
Friends
"An invitation? That's like almost asking him to come."
Friends
"He's your father. He should be at our wedding."
Friends
"I was gonna send him an invite but then I saw the stamp."
Friends
"My dad has that dress."
Friends
"You should see him singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President.""
Friends
"We have to invite him."
Friends
"We don't run in the same circles."
Friends
"I hang out with you guys and he..."
Friends
"...stars in a drag show in Vegas."
Friends
"You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride..."
Friends
"...when the father of the groom is wearing a backless dress."
Friends
"So what? As long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil, I don't care."
Friends
"I think I need to do some shopping."
Friends
"There's no way I'll let you drive this car."
Friends
"- Couldn't find the comb? - No."
Friends
"- Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie."
Friends
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