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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart's Girlfriend (S06E06)

"Great. We eat at 7."
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"There's only one thing to do at a moment like this:"
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"Strut."
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"Oh, that's sweet, Homer. Our son is growing up, isn't he?"
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"No, it's not that. Didn't you hear?"
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"They have no bananas. They have no bananas today."
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"So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's."
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"Well, in my family, grades aren't that important."
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"It's what you learn that counts."
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"Six times five! What is it?"
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"Actually, numbers don't have much use in my future career:"
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"I didn't know the rocket sled was an Olympic event."
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"Young man, explain yourself!"
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"Sorry. I have kind of a short fuse, which some find charming."
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"Speaking of charming, watching Fox last night..."
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"...I heard a rather amusing story."
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"This character named Martin was feeling rather randy..."
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"...and he was heard to remark..."
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"And don't you ever come near my daughter again!"
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"Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word "butt"!"
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"- But... But... But... - Make him stop!"
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"No, I'm not. I'm really..."
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"- Let's go find some fun. - But your father said..."
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"Smart, beautiful and a liar."
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"So much better than that Sarah, plain and tall."
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"Right there! Put that there!"
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"Excellent! You're incredible, Jessica."
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"It's like the toilet paper is an extension of your body."
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"No way would a minister's daughter go out with you."
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"- Hey, Jessica. - Yes?"
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"- Why? - I'm sorry, Bart."
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"You know my parents can't find out about us."
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"And besides, if it's secret, it's even more exciting."
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"Actually, I was hoping I could sit down for just a second."
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"Come on, it'll be fun."
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"Now I have the energy to do anything."
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"Jessica, I think this is too steep."
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"Bart, you can't trust your perception at this altitude."
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"Actually, if the road surface maintains its integrity..."
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"- Any glue leaking? - No. That glue ain't going nowhere."
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"Oh, no. There goes the glue after all."
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"Fun, huh?"
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"Have you noticed any change in Bart?"
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"- New glasses? - No."
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"He looks like something might be disturbing him."
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"But then I'd be afraid of smothering him."
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"- Yeah. And then we'd get the chair. - That's not what I meant."
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"- What's the hurry? - We could get in trouble for being late."
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"You worry too much."
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"Come on. If you stay here a while, I'll let you hold my hand."
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"Teamwork! Come on, Bart."
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"If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?"
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"Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me!"
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"I can't believe it, Bart."
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"I'd always thought Jessica was so sweet."
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"She's like a Milk Dud, Lis:"
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"Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside."
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"Put up with her for seven more years."
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"Then we'll get married."
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"After all, I deserve it."
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"Do you have Go, Dog, Go?"
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"You're right, Lisa. Love isn't about fixing someone."
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"I'm just gonna give her up cold turkey."
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"I'm not gonna talk to her or see her. It's over."
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"There. If I can just get through this many days without seeing her..."
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"Okay, day one."
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"Time for church, Bart."
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"- Jessica. - Bart, be strong."
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"You don't need that little hellcat."
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"Oh, Lis, she's already drawn me to her..."
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"...with her beautiful siren song."
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"You're turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug."
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"Oh, good. Here comes the collection plate."
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"We've been blessed."
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"You're right about everything, Bart."
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"From now on, I am going to settle down."
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"Stealing from the collection basket is really wrong. Even I know that."
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"Fine. You just lost your cut."
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"What is it? A Unitarian?"
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"Now just relax. For once, you didn't do anything wrong."
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"Just explain yourself and everyone will understand."
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"...that's all I need."
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"Homer, stop that! I believe him."
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"Tell me, if he didn't take the money, why is he wearing those fancy clothes?"
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"That's what he wore to church."
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"How convenient."
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"- Thief! - Stealer of money from the church!"
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"We've gotta talk."
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"Listen, thanks for not turning me in. That was sweet."
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"Don't you see? It's because I care for you that I can't come forward."
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"That doesn't make any sense."
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"Then I just don't feel like it, okay?"
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"With the way you treat me, why should I protect you?"
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"Remember, I'm the sweet, perfect minister's daughter."
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"So here's where you're hiding."
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"This is my only refuge from the taunts and accusations of the townspeople."
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"Bart, we can't just let her get away with this!"
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"Give it up, Lis. She's a criminal mastermind."
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"And her hair smells like red Froot Loops."
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"Yeah? Well, I eat Froot Loops for breakfast."
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"...we'll be taking certain precautions with this week's collection."
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"We shouldn't have let them do this. It can't be helping his self-esteem."
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"Now for our offertory reading, Lisa Simpson..."
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"...who we'll all be keeping an eye on."
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"I know most of you have already judged my brother guilty without any proof."
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"But doesn't the Bible teach us "judge not, lest ye be judged," Reverend?"
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"I think it may be somewhere towards the back."
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"There is someone among us with a guilty conscience."
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"...to come forward, to confess..."
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"...and save yourself from the torment of your own personal hell!"
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"I smelled some marijuana smoke in Vietnam!"
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"I was the one that canceled Star Trek!"
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"If you search her room, I am certain you will find the money."
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"That's the collection money!"
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"I guess it's obvious what's happened here."
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"Well, come on! Use your imaginations!"
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"I was expelled, Dad."
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"Remember the pipe bomb? The glee club brawl?"
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"Remember the school chapel collection plate?"
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"- Very sorry. - That's okay. Appreciate it."
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