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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Family Dinner (S02E02)

"- David can cook."
Schitt's Creek
"Fine, I'll cook dinner tonight."
Schitt's Creek
"ALEXIS AND DAVID: Mm! Uh huh! Yeah! Mmm!"
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"- Oh my gosh David, it's gonna be so fun"
Schitt's Creek
"♪♪"
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"(Doorbell rings, knocking)"
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"I require the use of your kitchen."
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"- David and I are going to resurrect"
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"as long as you make extra for us,"
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"and leave a ten spot over there for the hydro."
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"- That I can do! I'll be back in ten,"
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"to a clean kitchen!"
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"- A clean kitchen. - I just cleaned the kitchen!"
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"- Oh, well that's good!"
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"but here we are talking, so, what the hell."
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"- Totally, they're just heavy plates!"
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"eavesdropping on your conversation, but uh,"
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"- Really? - I heard you're looking for office space?"
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"- Oh, okay, it's just 'cause the last time I was in here,"
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"- I'm over it. - Over it?"
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"I mean, like that."
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"- Are you wearing makeup? - So what if I am?"
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"(Car rumbles)"
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"(Knocking)"
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"take some time, you know?"
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"what did you have in mind?"
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"- An office! You know, a chair, for starters!"
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"uh, you just have to move these tires."
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"you know, you might have to move some things,"
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"I don't think this is it."
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"- Okay, well uh,"
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"- Ooh, that is good!"
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"So-- ooh!"
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"- Alexis? - What's up?"
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"but I just, I physically couldn't do it!"
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"- Well, I'm pretty sure those people get divorced."
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"DAVID Well, that was quick."
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"- You know, it's interesting,"
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"- Oh! - In fact, I'm having a hard time"
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"MOIRA: Okay, a quarter cup at a time."
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"at the same time, and you're just standing there."
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"- What number are we on?!"
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"- Yes, and now I'm passing it on to you!"
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"So try to keep up."
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"Um... oh!"
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"- David, I cannot show you everything."
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"- Okay, well, can you show me one thing?!"
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"- You just... here's what you do:"
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"- It says, fold it in!"
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"- Hey."
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"- What?! No, she'll be fine!"
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"And I didn't."
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"- Thank you... - But--"
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"- I knew there was a "but.""
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"- (Sighs) Okay."
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"So that does mean that I don't think"
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"- Yeah, no, I pieced that part together."
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"Thank you."
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"- For what? - Well, I wouldn't want to marry someone"
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"- Ooh, yeah, that makes..."
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"And uh, well, I got to thinking,"
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"So... no offence, Eric."
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"All right, Johnny, uh, I guess just let me know"
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"- Well, of course you don't,"
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"in a kitchen half this size."
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"- I could make a bed, I could fix a wobbly table,"
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"Then I met your father,"
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"- David, that's your cell phone!"
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"- Uh, I think it's best if I don't."
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"- Yeah, I... I'm sorry to hear that."
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"- Yeah, me too."
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"She really made a mark on me, you know?"
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"(Dishes clink)"
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"JOHNNY: Well, fair enough."
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"(Pen rasps)"
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"(Door slams)"
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"(Alexis pants)"
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"Someone keeps eating my yogurt!"
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"(Gasps)"
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"- Arghhhh! - What kind of yogurt?"
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"- I was saving that for after my run, David!"
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"- Oh my God, I guess I was saving it"
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"for during your run, then."
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"- Agh, you're like a big, dirty raccoon, David!"
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"MOIRA: Oh Alexis, you're almost forty,"
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"if you want some food, prepare yourself some food!"
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"- There is no food!"
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"Nobody can cook, this is basically child abuse!"
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"- I can't cook."
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"- You got that teppanyaki table for your bar mitzvah."
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"- That was thrown out after Alexis left her extensions on it,"
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"and everything smelled like burnt hair."
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"- There was a plug coming out of the side of it!"
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"- Well, Alexis, why don't you cook, you can cook."
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"- Yeah. - I can't cook!"
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"Why don't you cook?"
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"- Well, I-I could-- I-I could cook."
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"- Oh, John, John! This is embarrassing!"
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"- Mm! The enchiladas."
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"- Yeah! - Uh huh."
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"- Oh, Adelina, she was a good cook, remember?"
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"- I don't think so."
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"- Um, that's not how I remember it."
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"- I made it for you all the time!"
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"- John?! - Yes, well,"
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"if that's the way you remember things, sweetheart, that's--"
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"- Okay, enough, tonight I will make my mother's enchiladas."
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"And David, you will help me."
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"- Uh, what?!"
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"for you tonight, doing that with mom, - Don't touch me!"
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"- it's so nice! - Don't! That's harassment!"
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"(Whistles)"
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"(Dog barks)"
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"- Hi. - How are you today, Jocelyn?"
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"- Oh, I'm okay, busy, I mean, we were about"
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"to head to um-- - How fun."
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"Listen, a small favour..."
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"- Sorry, for what?"
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"- To cook a meal, of course."
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"- Oh Moira, normally I'd be happy to,"
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