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Clips from Superstore - Labor (S01E01)

"Yeah, dude, I wish I had an excuse"
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"this good to ditch work."
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"I can't go home."
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"I need the hours, you know?"
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"For this little girl."
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"- Did it kick? - No, I just..."
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"- Oh. - This is ridiculous."
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"She shouldn't have to kill herself just to have a baby."
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"Did you guys know that in every other first-world nation,"
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"paid maternity leave is just automatic?"
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"Whoa, no, no, you are not"
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"gonna forward us another article."
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"Oh! Oh, that was a big one."
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"These meetings are worse from up here."
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"Each of us would officially take a sick day,"
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"but we'd still come in,"
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"and we'd clock in as Cheyenne,"
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"so that she can take the day off, but still get paid."
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"Right."
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"And she can just pay us back later?"
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"Cloud 9 made over a billion dollars last year."
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"Why don't we just ask them to pay for maternity leave?"
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"Oh, you want to just call corporate and ask them?"
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"That sounds easy."
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"It's worth a shot, isn't it?"
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"I mean, what's the worst they can do, say no?"
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"Employee services."
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"Hi, this is Amy Dubanowski from Store 1217."
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"We have an employee here who's about to have a baby,"
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"some paid maternity leave."
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"I'm sorry, we don't offer paid maternity leave."
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"Don't just give up."
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"Well, some of us"
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"were wondering if you could change that policy,"
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"because we really want it."
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"Um, that's just not something we offer."
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"Okay, but is it, like, a conversation"
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"Because I know other big companies do offer it."
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"Typically, their employees would be in unions."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Why would you say that?"
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"- Say what? - Hi there, Amy."
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"This is Jeremy, vice president of employee relations."
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"Hi. I don't know exactly..."
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"Do me a solid and hang tight for one second, Aim."
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"- What's happening? - I don't know."
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"Please hold for Greg."
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"Who's Greg? Why are we getting Greg?"
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"- Go for Greg. - Hey, it's Jeremy."
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"I've got Rebecca from legal and Amy from Store 1217,"
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"where we've got that union problem."
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"- Oh, no! No. - No."
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"We were talking about maternity leave"
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"and somebody very annoying mentioned the word "union.""
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"Whoa, let's just all calm down, take a breath,"
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"step back from the ledge."
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"No, no, no, no."
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"No, there's no ledge."
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"- Nobody's talking about unions. - No way."
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"And nobody's going on strike."
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"Please hold."
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"Yeah, hi. Okay, you've got Howard,"
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"Sue, Cheryl, Keith, Guillermo..."
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"- That's so many people. - Renee, and Alan here."
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"Hello."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Okay, hang tight down there, 1217."
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"We're sending someone down to you"
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"first thing tomorrow morning."
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"- No. - Good stuff?"
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"No, no, no, no, wait, wait."
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"You don't have to do that."
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"- Bye. - Amazing talk."
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"Wow."
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"How did I not know your last name is Dubanowski?"
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"Morning, everyone. Grab some coffee."
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"Help yourself to a doughnut hole."
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"You see what's going on here, right?"
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"Corporate smells trouble, so they send in a shark."
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"A big, swinging wiener."
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"Have him swing his wiener around a little."
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"A little rap on the knuckles from a big, swinging wiener."
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"This is gonna be a long day."
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"Yeah."
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"Hello, 1217."
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"My name is Steve."
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"Does anyone here know who I am?"
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"- I know. A union buster. - Good one."
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"I'm gonna remember that one. Funny."
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"No, I am a labor relations consultant."
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"Cloud 9 isn't anti-union."
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"Unions are great for people"
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"whose companies don't listen to them."
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"But whatever your concerns are,"
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"you can always bring them right to corporate any time."
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"Oh, great. Some of us did have some concerns"
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"that I wanted to ask you about."
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"And I want to hear about them."
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"But first, we're gonna have some fun. Yeah?"
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"Has everyone gotten some coffee and a doughnut hole?"
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"Now we're going to do a little role-playing exercise,"
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"and I've roped in your manager, Glenn, here to help me out."
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"Um, okay. Thank you."
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"You're gonna play a union organizer,"
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"and you're gonna try to get me to sign this union card."
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"- Okay? - Sure."
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"- All right. - Hi, hello."
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"My name's Steve, and the union... Okay."
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"You know what? You're doing great."
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"But my name is Steve,"
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"so that might be a little confusing for everyone."
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"So maybe pick another name."
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"Okay, sure. Sorry."
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"I'm just a little nervous. You're doing great."
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"All right. Um, hi."
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"My name's... Steve."
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"All right."
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"I'm gonna be the Steve in this scene, right?"
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"- So... - All right, all right."
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"You're Steve."
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