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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer vs. Patty and Selma (S06E06)

"This place is gonna smell classy all week."
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"To Homer, the Wall Street genius!"
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"Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in pumpkins."
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"They've been going up the whole month of October."
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"- Hey, Homer. - Yeah!"
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"- Hey, Homer. - Way to go."
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"- Hello, Homer. - Hello, Homer."
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"Sweet, trusting Marge, I can't let you down. I'll get some money somehow."
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"Hello, Vegas? Give me a hundred bucks on red."
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"Every person in America now owns one of these. In many cases, three or four."
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"Homer, wake up! There's still a few minutes till our usual bedtime."
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"Homer, are we in some sort of fiduciary trouble?"
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"...of course not."
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"And who could forget dear Rat Boy?"
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"Attention, students. It's time to choose a gym class for the coming term."
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"Even though it's first come, first serve, and the popular sports fill up fast."
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"Too many wee ones!"
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"Do you hear that, Bart? That was the tardy bell!"
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""Truant! Truant! Truant!" They'll all say!"
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"It's all right? It's all right. It's all right? It's all right."
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"Now, let's do this thing."
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"Ballet? Dancing is for girls."
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"...and pushed him like a vacuum. - In the third grade!"
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"And to celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair."
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"This has been such a nice, peaceful dinner."
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"We know something you don't want Marge to know."
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"I'm giving them a foot massage."
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"Taking ballet doesn't make you any less of a man."
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"All right, girls. Today we learn the dance of the fairy queens."
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"...to be the next Baryshnikov! - Look, Boris, I think ballet's for sissies."
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"Now, put on this fuchsia-tard. You are a fairy!"
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"Pull yourself together and come get drunk with us."
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"- Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson? - I don't like wearing tights."
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"- Batman, for example. And Magellan. - Look, I don't like this cootie platoon..."
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"Wait! Joy of movement, increasing."
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"- I'll have to trust you on that. - Marge was always a good speller."
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"Just for that, you have to crawl around on the floor like the dog you are."
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"- I am Homer Simpson. - Well, good. Jump, Homer, jump."
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"- What's that paper? - What paper?"
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"- He blew your savings on jack-o'-lanterns. - You told!"
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"But I like to make you breakfast."
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"- Most of them are here for detention. - Pretty big crowd."
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"I'll be that Carl Reiner guy, and you be what's-his-face."
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"It's not easy. It takes the genius of Carl Reiner..."
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"Sure! Sure we had. Of course, we was caves."
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"- What was that national anthem? - Let them all go to hell except Cave 76"
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"Evening, Simpson. Got a short in your taillight."
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"- Could you give me a ride to the airport? - Hey, hey! You're Mel Brooks!"
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"You be Carl Reiner, and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum."
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"I hate Carl Reiner!"
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"Leap like you've never leapt before!"
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"Looks like he took a pretty bad spill."
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"Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV..."
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"Tested, Homer. God tested Moses. And try to be nice to my sisters."
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"Then I will hug some snakes."
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"Yes. I am in flavor country."
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"Homer vs. Patty and Selma"
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"Hey, Homer, how come you got money to burn? Or singe, anyway."
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"- Yeah, what's your secret investment? - Take a guess."
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"Pumpkins?"
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"And I got a feeling they're gonna peak right around January."
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"And bang! That's when I'll cash in."
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"To Homer! And to Sergeant Pepper..."
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"...who's growing out of the middle of your back!"
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"I told you a hundred times, you gotta sell your pumpkin futures before Halloween."
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"Let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling a liver."
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"I can get by with one."
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"Oh, how am I gonna tell Marge we're broke?"
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"I need a miracle."
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"My house is on fire!"
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"Insurance to the rescue!"
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"This is a special occasion."
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"Patty and Selma just got promoted at the DMV."
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"Yeah, Homer. Let your wife have a glimpse of success for once."
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"All right, that's the last straw."
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"Time to take out the trash!"
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"But first, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
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"I'm sorry. Homer doesn't mean to be rude."
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"Wrong!"
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"When are you going to wake up and smell your husband, Marge?"
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"You got some kids out of him."
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"But when the seeds have been planted, you throw away the envelope."
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"I wish you wouldn't put Homer down. He may not be a big success like you..."
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"...but I can always count on him to provide for the family."
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"All right. I'll send you a check."
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"If only I could think of an invention."
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"Something that would really make money."
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"Must concentrate and work harder than I've ever worked..."
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"Congratulations, Mr. Simpson."
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"This invention of yours has made us all rich, especially you."
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"It's simple, yet ingenious. And it fits right in the palm of your hand."
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"Can I just get a look at that?"
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"Why would you need to see it? You're the genius who invented the product."
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"You'll get to see it just as soon as we unveil our new ad campaign."
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"No! My invention!"
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"- My money problems could've... - Money problems?"
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"And Lisa, my little princess."
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"Rat Boy? I resent that."
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"Bart, I told you before. Stop gnawing on the drywall."
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"What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing..."
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"It is a gorgeously fabulous day. Marvelous, even."
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"So, what's your hurry to get to school?"
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"Nothing. What's your hurry?"
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"You're right, Milhouse. Fun is fun."
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"So let's prove how adult we can be..."
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"...by filing to the gym in a calm, orderly manner."
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"This gets uglier every year. Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?"
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"No, and if they don't get here soon, it'll be T.S. For them."
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"Who needs him? I can have fun all by myself."
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"Sure, Homer, I can loan you the money you need."
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"However, since you have no collateral..."
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"...I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance."
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"Do you understand how finance works?"
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"- Oh, no. It's P.E. Sign-up day. - How could you forget?"
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"Better sign up for something fast, man. Baseball just filled up..."
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"So did tae kwon do."
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"...but it happens to be the coolest one of all."
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"Well, you should've gotten here earlier."
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"I need an extension on my mortgage payments."
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"I understand, Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer..."
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