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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Bruce Forsyth (S01E01)

"♪ All I need's the girl to go with 'em"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ If she'll just appear"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ We'll take this big bird..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops) I must stop taking those pills."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It'll go away in a minute."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Whatever it is, it's a real one."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I hope it's not a female."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yes, I... I didn't see you there. I'm sorry."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm doing my song-and-dance number."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Would you mind waiting over there, please?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Over there. In the corner."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Over here. Let me show you. Let me show you. That's fine."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That's it. OK. Trust me, trust me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'll be gentle with you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, bring the feet. Bring the feet."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I think the tail will follow."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Bring the feet. That's it. Good."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Left, right. Right, left. That's it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Good. That's fine. Now, could we just sort of twist you round now?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"As you go, that's it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now, back off, will you? Back off."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Left hand down a bit. Left hand."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"As you were. Off you go. Off you go, then."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"There you go. That's fine."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You see, I'm just going to do my song-and-dance number."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's the only thing I've got in the whole show."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Worthwhile."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Thank you. (music playing)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ba-ba di-dee doo dee"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Take it!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Are you all right?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I've never seen anything..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It is a female."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My striped tie"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And my best... best tweed ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Come on. Leave me alone."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Why don't you get... Get back. Get back there. Back! Get away!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mr. Hitchcock! Mr. Hitchcock!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, there aren't many performers"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"that could hold a candle to Bruce Forsyth."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Course not. They'd burn him."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Statler, you must be the old fool there's no fool like."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey, Kermit, Kermit,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"this time I have really got it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I have really mastered the art of handling hecklers."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You think so, huh? Yeah. I know so. I know so."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK, I tell you what."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You tell a joke and I will heckle you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Great. But, Fozzie, I expect a great comeback."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Right. Ahem."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"My cousin's so dumb, he thinks eggs Benedict is a Mafia gangster."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I've seen cheeseburgers funnier than that."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What do you think? Too subtle?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Will you get outta here?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(sighs)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ tea dance music)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"George. Yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Would you like to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Maybe. What are you fixing? Well, do you like duckling?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I don't know. I never duckled."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Do you know what happened in 1776?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, baby, but there's a great party in 1342."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm really into American history."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh? Mm-hmm."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know - Washington, Jefferson, Revere."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Do you mind if I light up? Why, no."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My father fell in love with her and soon they two were wed"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course was my stepmother"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I'm my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I'm my own grandpa Sing it, Pa."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ As husband of my grandmother I am my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I'm my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I'm my own grandpa"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I'm my own grandpa ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, Bruce, welcome to our show."
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"Well, it's very nice to be here, Kermit."
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"Although, of course, it is a little strange. Strange?"
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"It isn't like any other show on television."
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"I'll buy the fact that you're a frog who can talk."
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"There's nothing strange about that."
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"And I'll even buy the chicken who shares my dressing room."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But she's not for sale. I beg your pardon?"
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"That chicken's not for sale. Oh."
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"I mean, I wouldn't mind selling her,"
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"but her husband plays in the band."
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"No, you misunderstand me."
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"You see, I don't actually want to buy a chicken."
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"Oh. I see."
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"Mind you, I wouldn't mind leasing a duck."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I can let you have a duck right here."
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"I can give you a good rental deal on this duck."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's not a bad-looking duck. It's a great little duck."
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"I mean, it was last owned by a little old lady"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"who only used it as a decoy during the hunting season."
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"Really?"
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"Well, how much to rent this duck for a month?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"For one month, this duck will cost you a pig and two rabbits."
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"A pig and two rabbits? Well, hold on a minute, will you?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"One pig - there we are -"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Have you got change of a rat?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
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