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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Bad Parents (S01E01)

"Oh, that is my favourite Liam Neeson movie."
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"Is it true?"
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""Politician's neglected wife sleeps with ranch hand.""
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"- I love it. - He's not a ranch hand."
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"Hi there!"
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"- Moira. - Jocelyn."
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"- Johnny, hi. - Hi."
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"You look amazing. Utterly alive."
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"I don't feel it. My lower back is completely shot."
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"Oh, dear. Why would that be?"
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"Even the slightest twitch in bed throws it out."
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"Perhaps a new position would help?"
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"Would you like to join us?"
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"No, I ate already. Couldn't put another thing in my mouth."
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"Well, that's..."
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"They sell all kinds of stuff."
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"- Hey, Wayne. - Hey, Stevie."
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"Um, so this is my friend David."
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"David Rose. What are your consignment percentages?"
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"Uh, this is a thrift shop."
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"Okay. Do you have sales representative?"
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"Um... Me."
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"Okay."
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"I can't really use any of this."
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"It's too, you know..."
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"Funky?"
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"Sure. Let's go with that."
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"Okay, let's take your oily hands off my clothes."
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"Some of this stuff's pretty good."
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"Maybe the sneakers?"
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"What is this place?"
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"Ugh!"
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"What happened to me?"
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"Yeah, I came back and you were gone."
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"Well, I had to do most of the shift by myself."
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"So thank God I had my rape whistle."
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"And did you get your stuff taken care of?"
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"you get your stuff taken care of pretty regularly."
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"By multiple people, if you know what I mean."
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"I don't."
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"Look, I know you probably think"
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"handsome, mysterious, and handsome and homeless-y"
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"but you're better than that, you know?"
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"What?"
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"Like, I don't judge. Trust me. I have been..."
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"I have been in the middle of some very messy group scenarios"
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"and I know how weird it can be, so..."
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"Are you okay?"
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"Yeah."
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"I'm just saying that your secret is safe with me."
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"Wink."
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"Let me just say, I get it."
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"Well, maybe this is not our place, Moira."
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"And where does all that pent up energy go?"
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"I should go."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"Where have you been? I've been looking for you all morning."
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"Around."
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"Well, I tried calling you."
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"I must have turned my phone off by mistake."
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"See who?"
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"Oh, geez, you know, I told you, you can see him as much as you want,"
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"just don't keep it a secret from me, okay?"
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"I wanna know everything you two are doing."
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"Look, half the time I'm there, he doesn't even want me there."
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"I just can't help myself."
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"- Well, you love him. - Yeah."
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"I love him too, but the kid's an idiot."
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"It's our son, Mutt. We're talking about our son."
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"- Yeah. Our son. - Oh!"
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"You done with that? Got it."
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"Yeah, he turned into a real nutbar."
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"Doesn't drive in cars, he won't use anything plastic."
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"Good luck with birth control, right?"
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"And then we see you with your kids and you're so together."
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"What's your secret?"
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"Listening is so very important."
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"So important to listen to your kids."
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"See, Roland? Listening."
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"If he'd listened to me, he wouldn't be sitting"
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"in a hut making his own underwear."
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"The internet is a breeding ground for freaks."
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"Well, I just sold a pair of sunglasses on here"
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"and now dieforfash87 is telling me she won't pay"
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"'cause she thinks they're fake."
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"Okay."
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"Um, how about we move away..."
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"No! I don't even wanna sell these things."
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"These clothes are all that I have."
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"Everything else has been taken from me."
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"What's your point?"
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"I am having a very hard time right now dealing with the idea"
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"that people think that my things are worthless,"
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"- or funky, or... - Sorry."
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"Fake."
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"Does it look like I shop on Canal Street?"
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"Well, that's not surprising."
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"You're playing to the wrong crowd. You have great clothes."
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"Like this. Like, I like this."
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"Ooh! Ooh."
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"I like this."
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"This gives me an idea."
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"So why would I sleep with my mother?"
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"that makes a lot more sense to me."
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"And do you normally go around spying on people?"
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"Um, you left me here to be abducted by long haul truckers."
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"I just went to find you."
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"What's the big secret?"
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"It's my dad. We don't really get along."
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"He really takes the whole mayor tradition in the family thing seriously"
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"- "Labels?" - Yeah."
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"And you are totally in sync with your parents?"
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"Um, yeah, because they always wanted a daughter with a record,"
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"who dropped out of college, so..."
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"Pretty much delivered on that one."
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"Ugh!"
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"Okay, this is gonna cheer you up."
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"So I thought you might be lonely without your clothes."
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"So if this isn't too dirty for you, I could help take care of your stuff."
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"Wait, you wanna have sex with me?"
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