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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Driving Test (S03E03)

"Well, it sounds to me like we may not even need"
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"those funds from Council."
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"that's for sure, but I'm just saying,"
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"if she took some of my suggestions..."
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"Stop!"
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"What moment?"
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"No, I'm just thinking of Stevie,"
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"how much money do you think we can get from council?"
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"Well, now I'm wondering if that money"
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"might not just complicate things."
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"Look how much you've achieved with your back to the wall."
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"Necessity drives invention,"
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"Well, I'm not thinking of getting that involved, Moira,"
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"I'm just offering a bit of advice."
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"You've been looking for a project, John."
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"Well, not running a motel, Moira, that's a commitment"
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"Or not! Go!"
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"Go tell Stevie of your decision."
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"What decision? - And I'll instruct Council to save their largesse"
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"for a more worthy charity."
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"Before the passion dies again!"
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"and you're not just driving us home illegally."
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"- I did. - Good."
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"I know."
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"How was your tester guy, was he a monster?"
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"He was fine."
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"Slightly distracted."
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"Transitioning to a career as a DJ,"
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"but apparently none of the venues around here"
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"See? I told you."
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"He didn't care."
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"You never trust me!"
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"- Yes, I do. - No, you don't!"
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"Yes, I do."
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"No, and you never take my advice."
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"And I'm always the last person you turn to."
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"What do you want me to say?"
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"Well like, what makes me different than Stevie or Mom?"
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"You trust them with stuff."
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"Okay, you wanna talk trust?!"
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"Stevie and Mom weren't running around the world"
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"for a decade and a half with random men,"
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"leaving me at home to wonder whether they were okay!"
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"With a selection of very confident international men."
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"- But I was always okay. - Were you?!"
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"Because I was the one at the consulate"
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"I was the one at home,"
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"not having fun because I was..."
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"constantly worried which East Asian palace"
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"Alexis was being held hostage in this week."
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"Not Mom and Dad."
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"Me!"
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"Well, you didn't have to worry about me."
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"...As your realtor I would take pictures,"
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"Arrange viewings,"
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"dress each room with complimentary baskets"
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"Okay, and if we're going to do this,"
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"What's going on?"
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"Ray and I are just discussing..."
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"I have to weigh all the options, Mr. Rose."
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"Yeah, I thought we talked about this?"
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"There's never been a better time to sell a motel."
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"It's a terrible time to sell this motel."
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"Either way, in reality,"
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"it's always best to tell the client what they want to hear."
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"the best way to solve a problem."
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"or um, when Mr. Rose has left the room."
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"Well, I'm not leaving,"
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"and Stevie's not selling."
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"I might be selling."
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"I-I can't do this on my own, so."
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"Well, maybe not on your own, but um..."
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"I would advise against partnering with somebody"
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"who has no capital,"
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"no contacts, no industry experience."
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"Well, thank you, Ray, but I did run a big corporation,"
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"and I'm perfectly capable of handling this."
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"Oh well, this is all very exciting."
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"However, if any of this falls through for any reason,"
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"perhaps one of the ones I mentioned,"
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"Well, Stevie's not selling."
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"- Here's my card. - Yeah. Okay."
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"You don't have to do this, Mr. Rose."
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"Well, it's not charity, Stevie."
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"I mean..."
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"I'll take a percentage of the profits,"
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"if and when this place ever sees any."
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"You're actually serious?"
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"I'm getting more serious by the second."
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"Any help you need, accounting, sales, marketing..."
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"Plumbing?"
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"Plumbing, yes, it might keep me away from the books, but..."
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"Oh, thank you so much!"
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"Oh! I'm sorry."
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"Oh my gosh."
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"Yeah, I just feel like the whole session was rushed,"
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"Like, there was no back lighting,"
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"or emotional direction."
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"Nobody likes their driver's license photo, David."
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"Okay yeah, I was just hoping I would get some options."
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"- Well... - Ohhh!"
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"It's done."
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"Have you been in there the whole time?!"
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"The sink doesn't fix itself."
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"Moira? Kids?"
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"Check it out."
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"Ugh."
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"You changed it so that the hot water"
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"comes out of the cold water tap?"
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"- Now, turn it off. - What are we all looking at?"
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"- No, I fixed the drip. Turn it off, honey."
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"It's getting hotter."
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"- Okay well, turn it the other way, then. - Turn it off!"
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"- I see steam, John. - Okay well, how do you turn it off?"
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"- It's a tap, just turn it off! - I turned it off!"
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"Good! Good!"
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"See? No drip."
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"Ow!"
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"Breaths!"
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"No."
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