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Clips from New Girl - Models (S02E02)

"Okay, I think I got it."
New Girl
"SINGING: Monkey, monkey Where you keep your crackers?"
New Girl
"Monkey, monkey You are comrade best!"
New Girl
"You know what? The dance is surprisingly sexual for a children's cracker."
New Girl
"- Do song again. Dance, monkey. - I don't wanna dance again."
New Girl
"Dance, monkey."
New Girl
"Monkey, monkey Where you keep your crackers?"
New Girl
"MODELS: Dance, monkey. Dance, monkey."
New Girl
"MODELS: Monkey, monkey, monkey!"
New Girl
"I don't want to, okay? I'm done."
New Girl
"You guys are the worst!"
New Girl
"You're the worst. I'm sorry, but it's true."
New Girl
"All these racist in-jokes about Romanians?"
New Girl
"Monkey, no!"
New Girl
"I don't know why Cece would celebrate her birthday here. Modeling's made her dumber."
New Girl
"- Nice, Jess. - No, Cece."
New Girl
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't..."
New Girl
"It's official. We gotta turtle-proof this loft."
New Girl
"Schmidt cares so much, and you don't think about him."
New Girl
"Are you being serious right now? Are you really taking Schmidt's side?"
New Girl
"I am, because I know how you are."
New Girl
"I just don't know why he would run away."
New Girl
"All I ever did was love him."
New Girl
"This rock is so round. I'm gonna go put it in ajar."
New Girl
"And nothing has changed! Nothing has changed!"
New Girl
"You think Schmidt is in the right?"
New Girl
"You realize I say good night to you every night and you never say good night back?"
New Girl
"What is the problem, Nick? Do you not want me to have a good night?"
New Girl
"I can't go around saying good night to everyone..."
New Girl
"...and buying people cookies! I am not a titan of finance, sir!"
New Girl
"Do you know, once a week he cleans your room..."
New Girl
"- And I'm weird? - The dirty t-shirts, which he washes."
New Girl
"- I didn't ask for that. I like living in my messes. - That's the point. You didn't have to ask."
New Girl
"Nobody buys people cookies for no reason!"
New Girl
"- What? - A piece of his heart."
New Girl
"Now, if you don't mind. Good night."
New Girl
"I'm sorry, but in my defense, Nadia spent an hour explaining to me..."
New Girl
"...how to drink vodka with my butt."
New Girl
"You embarrassed me in front of my colleagues."
New Girl
"You kidding me? It's not like you work in the UN."
New Girl
"You judge me for being a model. You always have."
New Girl
"I just feel sorry for you sometimes."
New Girl
"You feel sorry for me?"
New Girl
"You just hit me in the boob."
New Girl
"It was an accident."
New Girl
"- It was not an accident! - Fine. It wasn't."
New Girl
"Oh, my God!"
New Girl
"Ho, ho!"
New Girl
"[BOTH MUMBLING]"
New Girl
"What you gonna do now?"
New Girl
"- What? What? What? - What? What? What?"
New Girl
"You should go. Thanks for a great birthday."
New Girl
"Cece! You drink with mouth?"
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"Tonight, drink with mouth."
New Girl
"I bought a tiny cowboy hat for nothing."
New Girl
"- Schmidt's not talking to you. - We're still on this?"
New Girl
"He's tired of doing things for you that go unnoticed."
New Girl
"- Things like lining your shoes up at the door. - Don't do that anymore."
New Girl
"- Recording your favorite shows. - I appreciate that."
New Girl
"- The turn-down service. - That's weird and I never asked you to do that!"
New Girl
"The chocolate mints disappeared on their own."
New Girl
"I thought we weren't talking. Why are words coming out of that stupid hole in your face?"
New Girl
"I'm a human being and I'm entitled to my emotions!"
New Girl
"- Are you crying? - No."
New Girl
"- Are you seriously crying, Schmidt? - I'm not crying."
New Girl
"JESS: Ugh!"
New Girl
"Rough night, you guys."
New Girl
"I forgot to take out my contacts. I think they're fused to my eyeballs."
New Girl
"What's going on?"
New Girl
"Did you guys watch porn together?"
New Girl
"Why do you do that? It's always awkward."
New Girl
"NICK: Oh, wow!"
New Girl
"What the hell was that?"
New Girl
"In March, I will have been living with Schmidt for 10 years."
New Girl
"He sent me an email asking how I want to celebrate our "tin" anniversary."
New Girl
"How did you guys become friends?"
New Girl
"Did you hit him with your car and become his reluctant caretaker?"
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"He lived in my freshman dorm. And one day, he was just there."
New Girl
"[CRUNCHING]"
New Girl
"Whoa, man, what are you doing in here? That's my ramen."
New Girl
"- It's better this way. - You add water to it, you weirdo!"
New Girl
"It's not a dry treat, it's a soup."
New Girl
"- Who are you? - Schmidt."
New Girl
"You freak me out, man."
New Girl
"[BOTH LAUGHING]"
New Girl
"This is cool. We got a good vibe going."
New Girl
"You're a super weird guy."
New Girl
"Hey, sit there while I throw things at you."
New Girl
"And then he was always there."
New Girl
"And the truth is..."
New Girl
"...Schmidt loves me so much."
New Girl
"And to be honest, Jess, it scares me."
New Girl
"I don't think I deserve all of Schmidt's love. All I do is tease him."
New Girl
"I mean... Of course you do. That's all you can do."
New Girl
"Do you think I'm a bad friend?"
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"No. I'm a bad friend. I got mad at Cece for being a model."
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"- It's a dumb thing to be. - We got in a boob fight."
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"- Feels like I fell forward on a treadmill. - I find that arousing, and let's move on."
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"She's smart and she's interesting..."
New Girl
"...and she could be doing anything else with her life."
New Girl
"The weird this is, I was there when she got discovered."
New Girl
"You. Take your glasses off."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"I can take my glasses off."
New Girl
"[CHUCKLES]"
New Girl
"I guess I was always disappointed with her for calling that lady."
New Girl
"It's just when I hear all that stuff about Cece's profession..."
New Girl
"...like the dieting, it's crazy, and the butt drinking, and the..."
New Girl
"- Did you say "butt drinking"? - Yeah."
New Girl
"You can't say "butt drinking" and not explain. It has two of my four favorite things."
New Girl
"I just feel like we have nothing in common, you know?"
New Girl
"Do you ever wonder why we're friends with these people?"
New Girl
"And worse, if we met them now, you think we'd still be friends with them?"
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"Maybe not."
New Girl
"I should go talk to her."
New Girl
"[DOOR OPENS]"
New Girl
"Well, Nick, I'm out of tears. Plumb out. All that's left is just yellowish goo."
New Girl
"That's right, Nick. Goo."
New Girl
"[DOOR CLOSES]"
New Girl
"That's a third of my life."
New Girl
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