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Clips from Friends - The One with the Race Car Bed (S03E03)

"And it goes something like this. Ahem."
Friends
"[GASPS]"
Friends
"Thanks. Thanks. Thanks a lot."
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"By the way, before I forget. To work in soap operas..."
Friends
"...some of you are gonna have to become much more attractive."
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"All right, moving right along..."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hey."
Friends
"- Oh! How was teaching last night? - Oh, it was great. You get to say stuff like:"
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""Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you. I dismiss you.""
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"- Oh, nice. - Yeah."
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"This boxer named Nick."
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"And I'm so, so right for it, you know? He's just like me..."
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"...except that he's a boxer..."
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"...and has an evil twin."
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"[KNOCKING ON DOOR]"
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"Oh."
Friends
"Dum-datta-dum."
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"Hear ye, hear ye. Delivery from the Mattress King."
Friends
"You Miss Geller?"
Friends
"- Okay. - Sign here."
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"- Ooh. Do I have a middle name? - Mm-hm."
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"All right. Monica Felula..."
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"...Geller."
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"It's that bedroom there."
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"[CHUCKLES]"
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"Yeah. So please, please, please don't say anything to Chandler."
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"- You want me to lie to Chandler? - Is that a problem?"
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"No."
Friends
"- Yeah. - All right, put them up. Come on."
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"- Hey, you're pretty good at this. - Ha, ha."
Friends
"...and some of the young men weren't acting Christian enough."
Friends
"Hey, now. Hey."
Friends
"- Ow. And I'm bleeding. Okay, great. - Oh, oh!"
Friends
"Wow. And I'm a vegetarian."
Friends
"All right, I'm sorry. We'll put some ice on it."
Friends
"- Put your head back. Ooh. - Okay. All right."
Friends
"- I can't see. - I have you."
Friends
"Oh, God."
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"DELIVERY MAN: Which bedroom do you want it in, Ms. Geller?"
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"Gotcha."
Friends
"Hi, Daddy."
Friends
"This is where they put us?"
Friends
"What? There was no table available in the kitchen?"
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"- Hello, baby. - You remember Ross."
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"So."
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"- How's the library? - Uh, museum."
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"- What happened to the library? - There never was a library."
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"I mean, there are libraries. It's just that I, um..."
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"You know what's really good here?"
Friends
"- The lobster. - Mm."
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"- What do you say? Shall I just order three? - Yeah, if you're really hungry. Ha, ha."
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"It was a joke. I made a joke."
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"Yeah, actually, Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster."
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"What kind of person's allergic to lobster?"
Friends
"I guess the kind of person that works in a library. Ha, ha."
Friends
"What, you're the only who can make a joke? At least mine was funny."
Friends
"So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat?"
Friends
"- Do you know what rust does to a boat? - Gives it a nice antique-y look?"
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"Rust is boat cancer, Ross."
Friends
"When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that. Ha, ha."
Friends
"Excuse me for a moment, will you, please?"
Friends
"I wanna say good night to the Levines before we go."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"Honey, stop. It's not that bad."
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"Yeah. Oh."
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"Uh-oh. I think your dad must have added wrong."
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"He only tipped, like, 4 percent."
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"Yeah. Ahem, that's Daddy."
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""That's Daddy"? Doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress."
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"Yes, it bothers me, Ross."
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"But, you know, if he was a regular at the coffee house..."
Friends
"...I'd be serving him sneezers."
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"- So? - So, Ross..."
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"...I've bugged him about this a million times. He's not gonna change."
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"Do you really serve people sneezers?"
Friends
"- All right, kids. Ready? - Yes."
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"- Thanks again, Dr. Green. - Uh-huh."
Friends
"Wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt."
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"- Oh, you don't need that. - Ahem, why not?"
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"The carbon. It's messy. I mean, gets on your fingers and causes..."
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"...the, uh, night blindness."
Friends
"What is this?"
Friends
"Who put a 20 down here?"
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"- Huh? - Oh, yeah, that would be me."
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"I tip way too much, way, way too much."
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"- It's a sickness, really. - Yeah, it is. It is."
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"- We have to do something about that. - Excuse me."
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"You think I'm cheap?"
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"- He didn't mean anything by that. - Huh?"
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"- He really didn't. - Nothing I do means anything. Really."
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"This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner."
Friends
"You put down 20 and you come out looking like Mr. Big-Shot."
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"Here. I'll tell you what. You pay the whole bill, Mr. Big-Shot. All right?"
Friends
"Well, "Mr. Big-Shot" is better than "Wet-Head.""
Friends
"Okay, some tricks of the trade."
Friends
"Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor..."
Friends
"...so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry..."
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"...I cut a hole in my pocket..."
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"...take a pair of tweezers..."
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"...and just start pulling."
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"Okay. Or uh... Or let's say I want to convey..."
Friends
"...that I've, uh, just done something evil."
Friends
"No? Okay. Let's say I've just gotten bad news."
Friends
"And that's how it's done."
Friends
"Class dismissed."
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"- Hey, Mr. Trib. - Hey."
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"Guess what. I got an audition."
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"Oh. One of my students got an audition. I'm so proud."
Friends
"I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it."
Friends
"- Oh, you bet. What's the part? - Oh, it's great."
Friends
"It's a role on All My Children. Nick the boxer."
Friends
"Had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't leave it alone."
Friends
"Four percent, okay? I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food."
Friends
"Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along."
Friends
"BOTH: Ugh."
Friends
"Would you see my chiropractor already?"
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"Hey, Pheebs. What are you doing?"
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"I'm... I'm freaking out."
Friends
"Monica kind of trusted me with something and she shouldn't have."
Friends
"All right, I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you."
Friends
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