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Clips from The Good Place - What We Owe to Each Other (S01E01)

"and if I spend one more second staring at Creepo the Clown,"
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"Psycho, Creepo, Crazy Head, Stupid Juggling Weirdo,"
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"I mean, I did promise I would help."
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"I need to figure out a way both help him"
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"not helping him."
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"Sorry about the mess."
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"There you go."
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"Boy, those friends really were "friends," weren't they?"
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"Well, you know me."
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"I promise."
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"Jianyu, my love."
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"- Signs point to yes. - Oh!"
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"Maybe I'll come too."
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"Right?"
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"couples date!"
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"And over here, look at this."
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""burnout guy muttering to himself"
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"except keep working?"
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"Jianyu and I are here for the couples package, please."
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"And also I will be joining them."
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"Oh, no, no, it's just me."
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"of that couple."
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"I'm just kidding."
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"I mean, it doesn't compute,"
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"What does that even mean?"
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"Oh, sure, but I've come to really like frozen yogurt."
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"My boss thought I was nuts."
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"Unlike Ross when he promised Emily not to talk to Rachel."
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"Some time passed, and then it was over."
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"Oh, well what if I go first,"
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"Who's your favorite artist?"
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"Sorry, just working the oft-neglected mandible area."
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"What are your pores like?"
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"She said she likes impressionist paintings."
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"So would you say I helped you today?"
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"Eleanor, I have huge news."
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"After our day off,"
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"I realized part of what makes humans so fun"
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"I mean, what kind of monster would wreak havoc"
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"- Janet. - Hi there."
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"I need a list of everyone that was here on garbage duty"
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"Ugh."
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"He can do it all... fat Al Pacino, fat Jerry Seinfeld,"
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"There were a total of 30 people here that night."
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"Only 30, huh?"
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"Is this it?"
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"was in a close radius."
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"Feels like the end of the road."
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"How was I supposed to know he would literally eat"
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"all of the food?"
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"Janet..."
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"Great!"
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"I made you a art."
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"such a perfect gift."
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"Thank you."
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"find the problem, and he found the problem."
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"To remember me by."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Dude, I'm freaked out about my meeting with Michael,"
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"I'm gonna lose it."
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"You named the clowns?"
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"Freaky Feet, and Nightmare George Washington."
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"One of them has to go."
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"Oh, sexy mailman. Much better."
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"In five minutes, Michael wants my help investigating"
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"what's making the neighborhood go nuts,"
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"which is obviously me."
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"What do I do here?"
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"Actually, the answer is..."
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"Right here in this easily understandable comic strip."
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"Nope, in this book about the theory of contractualism."
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""What We Owe to Each Other.""
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"I saw this movie."
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"Laura Linney cries in a lake house"
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"because Jude Law left her for his ex-wife's ghost."
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"No."
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"Uh, imagine a group of reasonable people"
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"are coming up with the rules for a new society."
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"Like if your Uber driver talks to you,"
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"the ride should be free?"
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"Sure, but anyone can veto any rule that they think is unfair."
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"So if you said, "We should be able to break our promises"
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"without any repercussions," someone would veto that rule."
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"Well, my first rule would be that no one can veto my rules."
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"Well, that's called tyranny."
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"And it's generally frowned upon."
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"If you make a promise to someone, you should do it."
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"Just like I promised to help you and still am,"
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"despite your constant mockery."
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""Despite your constant mockery.""
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"Whatever, you love it."
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"So either I help him find the problem, which is me,"
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"and I'm doomed,"
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"or I don't help him, and then I'm"
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"behaving unethically and the whole world goes crazy"
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"and I'm caught anyway."
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"and not help him at the same time."
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"both helping him and later, according to his therapist,"
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"_"
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"Oh, hey, Eleanor, thanks for coming in."
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"Oh, I forgot, you don't see in nine dimensions."
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"There's just a lot of... there's a lot of tension"
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"in the air right now."
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"Are you okay, buddy?"
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"- You seem kind of stressed. - No, no, no, I'm fine."
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"Top of my game, actually."
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"Uh, here, let me just, uh..."
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"Have a seat."
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"So to prepare to meet all of you,"
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"I studied the human concept of friends."
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"I even watched all ten seasons of the show "Friends.""
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"Although... and I realize this is the kind of observation"
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"that would only occur to the mind of an eternal being..."
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"How did they afford that apartment?"
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"A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices."
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"Yeah, we were all confused about that too."
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"Anyway, it's been a tough couple of days."
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"Right now, I could really use a friend"
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"by my side."
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"The person who has audibly promised to help you."
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