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Clips from The Good Place - Jason Mendoza (S01E01)

"That's big goals, man."
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"I know, but I believe in myself."
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"Someday, the world will see what I already know,"
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"that Jason Mendoza is a beautiful, unique soul"
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"Michael, I hereby tender my resignation."
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"I can no longer in good conscience"
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"coordinate any further events in The Good Place."
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"So, I am turning in my evening gloves."
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"- Tahani-- - Don't try to make me feel better."
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"The launch was a disaster."
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"My hair is barely cascading down my shoulders."
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"Tahani, please."
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"I know your journey with Jianyu has been frustrating,"
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"but your situation is actually very typical."
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"Soul mates sometimes take months to really click."
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"You have to be patient."
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"And if anyone should take the blame for the restaurant disaster, it's me."
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"I thought this neighborhood's troubles were behind us."
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"Now I fear the worst."
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"I hereby rescind the tendering of my resignation."
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"We must keep the neighborhood together."
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"- What can I do? - Oh,"
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"well, the sinkhole should be repairing itself in about three days."
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"Well, as soon as it does, we shall re-launch the restaurant."
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"I'll hang posters to get the word out,"
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"and in the meantime, I'll host a brunch party every morning"
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"to lift people's spirits."
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"Oh, fanciful wordplay."
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"Indeed. That is the Tahani that you know and love."
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"- So what do we do here? - There's nothing to do."
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"He's just gonna blab"
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"and get him and me both sent to The Bad Place."
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"It's hopeless."
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"I can't believe I'm doing this, but, Jason,"
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"please come to my classroom."
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"I will teach you ethics, like I'm doing with Eleanor."
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"And if you work hard and absorb the material,"
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"you just might be able to earn your place here."
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"Dude, Chidi is giving you a lifeline right now,"
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"and you need to take it because you suck."
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"- You suck! - I know!"
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"That's what I'm trying to tell you. We both suck."
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"You know who doesn't suck? Chidi."
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"He is putting himself in danger to help us,"
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"because he, unlike us, is an amazing person."
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"I didn't get into heaven to go to school."
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"You didn't get into heaven at all, shirt-for-brains."
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"I just want to be myself."
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"That's a very, very bad idea. Do not be yourself."
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"You need to be a better version of yourself, okay?"
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"And I do too. And our only hope right now is this kind, selfless, amazing nerd."
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"Think about that."
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"Do you have to call me a nerd so much?"
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"I said a lot of other nice things, okay? Toughen up, nerd."
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"Let's get crackin', Teach."
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"I read this entire David Hume book, and then I read it again"
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"because I didn't understand it the first time,"
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"and now I'm ready to go."
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"Wow. Uh, that's really impressive."
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"Uh, where's Jianyu?"
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"Honestly, I don't even know if he's coming."
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"I am here to learn about ethnics."
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"Pretty sure it's "ethnics.""
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"Hey, buddy, I'm proud of you."
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"This is your first step towards not sucking."
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"Cool. I just have two questions."
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"When are football tryouts?"
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"And does this school have a prom?"
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"Oh, no."
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"Oh, wow."
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"You're terrible."
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"- How are you, soul-mate? - I'm cool."
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"who has so much to give this world."
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"Hello, Tahani."
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"If Jianyu starts talking about topless Buffalo wing restaurants,"
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"when I just want to be myself."
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