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Clips from The Good Place - Jason Mendoza (S01E01)

"Of course! The more the merrier!"
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"Oh, hurrah!"
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"I knew tonight was going to be perfect, but now it's going to be even perfect-er."
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"Obviously, it's impossible for something to be more perfect than perfect..."
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"Well, it isn't, actually."
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"Any place or thing in the universe"
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"can be up to 104% perfect."
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"That's how you got Beyonce."
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"Oh."
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"Oh..."
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"Bud-hole."
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"Okay... Now, tell me everything."
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"Okay, Jianyu..."
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"Is a fraud, just like me."
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"His real name is Jason."
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"He's a drug-dealing DJ from Florida."
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"It's gonna be fine."
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"We just need a plan."
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"Oh, I got a plan."
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"We hack into Michael's phone,"
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"download all his nudes,"
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"No. What are you... No."
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"Yo, you should listen to me."
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"I came up with hundreds of plans in my life,"
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"and only one of them got me killed."
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"Dude, be quiet."
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"You are not Jason. You are a monk named Jianyu."
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"Got it?"
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"Oh, another great set, Jason. They love you, dude."
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"They don't love me, man. They love Acidcat."
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"These cheers are fake."
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"They hit my ears like boxing gloves of sadness."
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"I got to be myself."
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"Attention, Jacksonville. I'm not Acidcat."
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"I'm Mr. Music, the DJ."
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"And this is a Mr. Music, the DJ original."
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"Welcome to the opening of The Good Plates."
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"I just got that."
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"That's hilarious!"
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"Anyway, at some point or another, every resident in this neighborhood"
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"will fulfill his or her soul's true purpose."
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"Chef Patricia has done that tonight"
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"That's right. With Michael's help, Chef Patricia has recreated"
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"each person's favorite meal on Earth."
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"Fun!"
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"It's my Grandmother's maafe."
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"Fresh perch, slow-roasted in a peanut sauce."
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"Almost makes me forget how miserable I am right now."
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"You want to try a bite?"
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"Fish and peanut butter? No, I'm good. Thanks."
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"Tofu? Oh, man."
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"Imma order some jalapeño poppers."
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"Be quiet and eat your white sponge."
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"Hi. I didn't get a meal."
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"According to our files, your favorite meal was"
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"the hunger strike you went on to protest Bolivian sex trafficking."
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"Oh, right. Of course I did that."
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"Tahani, great party. Check it out."
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"- Oh! - Suspenders!"
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"So much dumber than belts."
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"Oh, congratulations, Michael."
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"How's Jianyu doing? Is he opening up?"
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"Mm, not yet."
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"But I can tell he wants to."
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"Don't worry. I've got a plan."
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"May I have your attention, please?"
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"Later this evening, we will be enjoying Chef Patricia's delicious dessert,"
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"But first, I'd like to try something fun."
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"Each one of you has a very special memory attached to the meal you're eating."
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"Why don't we go around the room and share our stories?"
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"Who'd like to begin?"
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"I'll start, Michael."
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"One day, I wasn't feeling so great,"
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"so I made myself a bowl of this chicken soup..."
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"When it gets to you, say something short and boring about tofu."
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"No. I'm sick of pretending to be Jianyu, the tofu man."
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"I'm gonna tell the story about my real favorite meal."
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"- Which is? - The Buffalo wings"
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"at Stupid Nick's Wing Dump in Gainesville."
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"Wings were free for ladies if they took their top off."
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"Oh, boy."
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"- Chidi, a word? - Yeah."
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"Anyway, that's how this simple soup saved over 10,000 lives."
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"Ah! Fabulous!"
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"Jianyu Li, a Taiwanese monk who took a vow of silence"
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"at the age of eight"
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"and hasn't spoken since,"
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"is ready to share with us."
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"Let me tell you about Stupid Nick."
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"We need a distraction. Right the fork now!"
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"No, no, no, no, no. Eleanor?"
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"Destroying it would be a truly cruel act."
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"Yeah, no durr."
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"Sinkhole! Everyone out!"
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"There's a sinkhole!"
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"Glenn!"
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"You broke the world."
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"It's not a compliment!"
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"Glenn, stay calm. We're gonna get you out of there."
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"And we'll put your soup in the fridge so it won't go to waste."
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"I know that may not be your number one concern right now, but..."
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"It was up there. It's real good soup."
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"Let's go."
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"Hey, buddy. You okay?"
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"No."
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"I was just about to tell an awesome story about a wing-eating contest that I lost,"
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"and a barfing contest that I won, but then a hole opened up in the ground."
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"I know. I made the hole to save you from yourself."
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"You cannot let people know who you really are."
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"It would be very, very bad."
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"Beautiful, beautiful Jacksonville."
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"What's wrong, dog?"
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"You look like you're freaking out."
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"Things are bad, Pillboi."
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"Acidcat is suing me for "bleach of contract.""
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"I should have never pretended to be someone else."
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"It could cost me all my dreams in life."
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"You got dreams in life? That's lit."
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"Of course I have dreams, man."
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"I want it all."
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