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Clips from American Dad! - Cock of the Sleepwalk (S09E09)

"It's not my birthday, dumb-ass."
American Dad!
"You look a hundred."
American Dad!
"Do-do-doesn't Dick look a hundred?"
American Dad!
"No retainer full of cake tonight, sweetie?"
American Dad!
"I'm a man now."
American Dad!
"A hundred people?"
American Dad!
"and I threw up all over the elevator buttons."
American Dad!
"Good morning, sweetie."
American Dad!
"What...?"
American Dad!
"What are you smiling for?"
American Dad!
"Why am I covered in cake?"
American Dad!
", hoy, you were so cute."
American Dad!
"And I walked downstairs and got some cake?"
American Dad!
"That's not all you did. What?!"
American Dad!
"You sat me down and insisted we watch The Notebook."
American Dad!
"I did not watch The Notebook."
American Dad!
"Boy, did you cry when Noah bought"
American Dad!
"the abandoned house on the lake."
American Dad!
"Only because it fulfilled Allie's lifelong dream."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, I watched The Notebook!"
American Dad!
"What the hell is this?!"
American Dad!
"That's Rashes."
American Dad!
"Our shelter dog."
American Dad!
"You adopted him last night."
American Dad!
"Ah! Oh, gross! Ah!"
American Dad!
"Something terrible happened to me!"
American Dad!
"Which one do you think, Stan?"
American Dad!
"I'm leaning towards lilac."
American Dad!
"Roger, I don't want to talk to Madam Buttercup!"
American Dad!
"Oh, that's a good name."
American Dad!
"Dr. Penguin, it's terrible."
American Dad!
"Seems like someone's conscience is coming out."
American Dad!
"Of the closet?"
American Dad!
"I don't have a conscience."
American Dad!
"Let alone a gay conscience."
American Dad!
"No conscience?"
American Dad!
"Hmm. Often when you sleepwalk,"
American Dad!
"the part of you that you keep hidden"
American Dad!
"Did you rub poo on your shirt?"
American Dad!
"What? God, no, it's cake."
American Dad!
"Poo cake?"
American Dad!
"I'm putting poo cake in your file."
American Dad!
"Wait, no. Is that my permanent record?"
American Dad!
"This is just a straw."
American Dad!
"Anyway, I usually do eat cake before bed,"
American Dad!
"but last night I didn't."
American Dad!
"And then you sleepwalked to the kitchen and ate some."
American Dad!
"It's simple, you're a man of habit."
American Dad!
"There ya go."
American Dad!
"Ah... forget it."
American Dad!
"Have you seen Rashes?"
American Dad!
"Oh, I gave him to a family."
American Dad!
"Well, I-I guess you could call them a family."
American Dad!
"There was a man, he was like the father."
American Dad!
"There was no mom and no kids, but a couple other men."
American Dad!
"So, like four dads."
American Dad!
"And they all worked at a Korean restaurant."
American Dad!
"Thank you, cake. Oh!"
American Dad!
"Good, you're awake."
American Dad!
"Well, wait. How did I get here?"
American Dad!
"You came in the middle of the night to answer our ad..."
American Dad!
"and our prayers."
American Dad!
"To be director of the orphanage!"
American Dad!
"But I-I was sleepwalking."
American Dad!
"I thought maybe you were."
American Dad!
"who didn't play with himself"
American Dad!
"while he examined the children's files."
American Dad!
"Well, I-I don't know if I deserve this"
American Dad!
"just for taking a job."
American Dad!
"Well... you did pay off the loan on our bus."
American Dad!
"I what?!"
American Dad!
"Huh, now, did I give you any of my contact information?"
American Dad!
"Like, like how to find me if I were to suddenly disappear?"
American Dad!
"Not yet."
American Dad!
"If you'd like to come to my office--"
American Dad!
"What is going on?!"
American Dad!
"That's why you adopted me..."
American Dad!
"Daddy."
American Dad!
"Oh, no, what have I done?!"
American Dad!
"Are you sure you need more coffee?"
American Dad!
"You haven't slept in two days."
American Dad!
"I can't sleep."
American Dad!
"Probably something really nice."
American Dad!
"Hey, I'm nice, too."
American Dad!
"But in metered doses."
American Dad!
"The sleepwalking version of me is too nice."
American Dad!
"He's like Michael Keaton nice."
American Dad!
"Michael Keaton?"
American Dad!
"He didn't have to pose for that picture."
American Dad!
"Honey, you're all frazzled."
American Dad!
"You need some sleep."
American Dad!
"All right, five-minute power nap."
American Dad!
"I'm setting an alarm,"
American Dad!
"but don't let me sleep a minute longer."
American Dad!
""Dear Stan, I'll need more than five minutes"
American Dad!
""to do all the good deeds I have planned."
American Dad!
"So I drugged your coffee. Night, night.""
American Dad!
"Sleeping pills?!"
American Dad!
"Was I sleepwalking?!"
American Dad!
"And did you let me put these pills"
American Dad!
"in my own coffee?!"
American Dad!
"And then let me drink it?!"
American Dad!
"Yeah. It was exciting."
American Dad!
"What else do I have going on?"
American Dad!
"What do you call one of these places?"
American Dad!
"A home? No kiddin'!"
American Dad!
"After you went back to sleep,"
American Dad!
"We fed 50 people today, Dad."
American Dad!
"Damn it. Don't be so hard on yourself, Dad."
American Dad!
"and I want you to kill him."
American Dad!
"Smith, are you falling asleep?"
American Dad!
"Ah, sorry sir, just a little tired."
American Dad!
"Oh, not to worry."
American Dad!
"I've got some cocaine right here."
American Dad!
"But... i-isn't that illegal?"
American Dad!
"Ah... okay. You think cocaine is a problem."
American Dad!
"But I've done it for 32 years."
American Dad!
"See, I'm part of a group of responsible cocaine users."
American Dad!
"get out of control."
American Dad!
"Rules, sir?"
American Dad!
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