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Clips from M*A*S*H - Yankee Doodle Doctor (S01E01)

"fighting in this scrap here in Korea,"
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"is a true case oftheir service in a great cause."
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"I‘m sure it‘ll be as inspirational to you..."
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"General, lovely. You‘re giving this little documentary real class."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘re gonna be in town for the whole convention? — Mm—hmm."
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"Oh, you guys."
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"Uh, this is Lieutenant Bricker."
M*A*S*H
"Well, I hope so. We don‘t need a gynecologist."
M*A*S*H
"No. Lieutenant Bricker is with Special Services."
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"That‘s what it says on my box ofleeches."
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"Now, any ofyou done any acting?"
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"— Andjuliet. — That‘s, uh——"
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"That‘s interesting, Major. Thankyou."
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"Why, for a while there, it was a toss—up whether I‘d be a doctor or an actor."
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"It‘s for the old 4077th, Pierce."
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"—Could be laughs. —Ah, come on."
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"We 7/ start right a way."
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"Gee, I was standing around minding my own business,"
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"and all ofa sudden, poof, a star is born."
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"— Come on. Try it. —All right, I got it."
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"Maybe you can sing to his appendix."
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"Corporal Radar O‘Reilly ofOttumwa, |owa."
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"— Now, cut. — Well, what was wrong with that one?"
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"Look up at the colonel, but keep your head down. Look up at the colonel."
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"That‘s hardly a constructive criticism."
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"Come on, Frank. We‘ll rehearse in my tent."
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"Well, I was wondering ifyou had any tips..."
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"for anyone who wanted to get into the movies."
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"Me?"
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"That‘s it."
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"Screwdriver."
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"Yeah, but it‘s been tough for me..."
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"— Moves better here. — Shall we have a double feature?"
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"— Every reel. - All ofit?"
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"But, uh, my stufftoo? Well, I mean, |——"
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"Your call for General Clayton, sir."
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"This is my office, Lieutenant."
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"Oh, everything‘s fine, sir."
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"Yes, sir. Exposed it."
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"Well, we don‘t quite know how."
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"— Do what ? — Do what you did."
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"You ruined my film. That‘s what you did."
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"Now, you can double—talk him all you want. I know you exposed my film."
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"I‘m not putting my career in his hands."
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"— Could |just—— — Please, no autographs at this time."
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"— Hey, let‘s be sensible, huh? — Not now, Henry."
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"I‘m going to my dressing room to lie down."
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"I‘ve met some weirdos in my time, but these two take the cake."
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"— I‘m not through here. — Then we‘ll disregard the rumor."
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"—We|l, uh, I don‘t think so. Not really. — Huh?"
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"I never compromise. | go right to surrender."
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"this movie, back home, you know."
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"Now, look. This monkey‘s gonna hightail it right to General Clayton..."
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"—just handle the mechanical details. —Yes, sir."
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"—All right? — Right."
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"Too long, General."
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"Quiet!"
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"Now, uh,just a second before we start here to welcome our honored guest,"
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"Will you, uh, turn out the, uh, lights, Radar? Thankyou."
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"I have the honor to command a group ofcourageous, hardworking medical men."
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"Shh!"
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"Uh-huh."
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"[Frank] Men at the 4077th are on 24—hour duty,"
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"always ready to receive those G./. ’5 who need medical help."
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"|fthis hurts,you‘|l be the first one to know."
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"You don‘t have to laugh. You‘re unconscious."
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"I think I just found my wristwatch."
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"How dare you say that in front ofa lady."
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"Yuck! Yuck!"
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"That‘s what it‘s all about. No promises."
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"- Sir? — Look, save that first bit."
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"— Burn everything in between. — Yes, sir."
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"You were very good today, Doctor."
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"You didn‘t happen to catch my work in there, did you?"
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"Anytime, love. In fact, maybe even later today."
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"Hello. I‘m Brigadier General Crandall Clayton."
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"As one ofthousands of, uh, brave Americans..."
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"I have the honor to command a group of courageous, hardworking medical men——"
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"The film you‘re about to see..."
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"as it was to me, their leader."
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"All right, cut. Save the lights. Beautiful."
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"Well, good, Lieutenant. I wanna cooperate in any wayl can."
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"I appreciate that, sir."
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"Now, look, these are MASH units under my command."
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"|think| knowjust the outfit you need—— the 4077th."
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"Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake."
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"He heads up the best surgical team in the whole damn war."
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"Real soldiers."
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"- .L‘IP/aying] — You dance beautifully."
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"— Hey, turn that thing off, will you? —just keep shaving, Frank."
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"— Hey, you‘re a terrific dipper. — Oh, yeah."
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"After i 8 hours in an operating room, where do you find the energy?"
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"Can‘t help it, Frank. We‘re the crazy generation."
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"— Who‘s been using my razor? —I cannot tell a lie. |twas |."
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"I told you before to leave my stuffalone."
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"Oh, Frank, he only used it to shave his legs."
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"— Aw! — He‘s so fresh."
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"— Ten—hut! — Hiya, Henry."
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"— Lieutenant Bricker, this is Major Burns. — Hi. How areyou?"
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"— Captain McIntyre. — Nice to see you."
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"Welcome aboard, Lieutenant. Uh, surgeon ?"
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"He‘s a movie director."
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"Well, welcome anyway."
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"Uh, the lieutenant‘s on, uh, special assignment."
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"He‘s making a documentary on MASH units."
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"than the old 4077th, huh?"
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"— Was he sober when he said it? — I wanna tell your story..."
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"focusing on one doctor, but showing all ofyou, ofcourse."
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"[Imitatingjames Cagney] Mm! Mm! You dirty rat."
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"You come in here and you ask ifwe‘ve ever——"
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"Why, you dirty—— That‘s not too bad, is it?"
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"I never saw Carmen Miranda done any better."
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"Now, cut that out."
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"I‘ve had a little experience, Lieutenant."
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"Uh, amateur production in college. I played Romeo."
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"As a matter offact, I did dramatics in high school too."
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"— What finally happened? — Shut him up."
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"Well, Frank is a fine surgeon and a first—rate officer."
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"But he‘s nothing in a tight sweater."
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"How‘d you like to have a shot at this, Captain?"
M*A*S*H
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