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Clips from The Simpsons - Simple Simpson (S15E15)

"If you like bacon, you're gonna love it."
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"And if you don't like bacon, well, then the hell with ya!"
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"I'm going to find that golden ticket and win that tour!"
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"The only thing that can make bacon more delicious"
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"Okay. Farmer Billy's slow-killed bacon."
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"Farmer Billy's bacon-fed bacon,"
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"Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself,"
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"Nope. Just looking for that golden ticket."
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"Nope. Nothing. Nope. Nada."
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"(GASPS) The golden ticket! At long last!"
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"Hmm. Judge a pig competition? But I'm no super genius."
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"Or are I?"
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"Ew."
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"This song is about a country I love."
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"By spitting on the flag Or strangling a bald eagle"
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"But I love this country"
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"To me, she has no sins"
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"Then al-Qaeda wins"
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"USA! USA!"
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"Comely. Succulent."
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"(SCOFFS) Clearly had a snout job."
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"Ugh! Too '80s."
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"Place-setting?"
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"How is someone so lame related to a hot tamale like me?"
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"Check it out! Dribble glass, rubber knife, whoopee salad!"
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"And finally the breakaway wine bottle..."
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"My theme is "if Music be the Food of Love.""
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"The setting features tuning forks,"
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"And for dessert, Ella Fitz Jell-O."
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"Lordy, girl. Your entry stinks like"
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"the south end of a northbound mule."
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"What's wrong with it?"
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"Well, your place-setting thinks it's better than it is."
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"Like a yard dog that sneaks into the house."
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"Well, you did put it on a table."
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"(CHORTLING)"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"No one does that to my daughter!"
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"I didn't know I could fit in a bubble. I must be losing weight."
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"Oh... But I gotta do something! I'll need a disguise."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Aw, there, there, little darlin'."
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"Dry those tears with this!"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"HOMER: Hold it right there!"
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"You've hurt your last feeling!"
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"(ALL JEERING)"
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"Where were you, Homie? You missed all the excitement."
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"Oh, I have a funny feeling we will."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"What you doing, sweetie?"
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"I'm drawing a picture of my newest hero. Pie Man!"
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"Oh, Dad! I feel like I'm gonna throw up!"
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"All right. What's wrong, Son?"
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"Comic Book Guy made me pay for these comics he said I smudged."
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"But I didn't even touch 'em!"
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"LISA: Richie Rich Incorporates in Delaware."
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"Easy to Believe Tales."
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"Supergirl vs. The Glass Ceiling."
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"He was just trying to unload these"
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"crappy comics on a helpless kid."
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"Somebody oughta take him down a peg, or should I say "down a pie"?"
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"No, I think the expression is "peg.""
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"Maybe you're right, Lisa. Maybe you're pie. Pie be you're pie."
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"My family can't put in floors. We rent."
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"Sorry. No refunds."
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"Oh, brother. Why do we get all the weirdoes here"
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"at the comic book store?"
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"Comic Book Guy, don't do the crime if you can't do the key lime!"
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"How could this be any more humiliating?"
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"Hello. I'm Nichelle Nichols of Star Trek."
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"Ew. Listen, I said it to Shatner and I'm saying it to you."
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"There is no way I'm going to be dating a man with pie on his face."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"(ALL LAUGHING)"
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"There's a note!"
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"(READING)"
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"What about Fist Face?"
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"Fist Face? Who's Fist Face?"
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"You can tell by the way the pie tin sits on his face"
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"that he's very good-looking."
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"Ooh! I bet he's Ned Flanders."
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"Flanders?"
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"He's not man enough to trim my crust!"
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"I mean Pie Man's crust! I'm not Pie Man."
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"Pie. Popular pastry, tricky math thing"
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"and now sword of righteousness."
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"A masked avenger has been giving"
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"Springfield's scoundrels their just desserts!"
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"KENT: In an attempt to curb copycat pie-ings,"
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"The pies were immediately detonated by the bomb squad."
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"Aw! Those poor innocent pies."
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"Some days you just don't want to be a cop, you know?"
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"(SIREN WAILING) (LAUGHING)"
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"Perhaps at the Springfield Children's Hospital,"
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"to make way for a new cosmetic surgery clinic."
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"Who will treat my whooping cough?"
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"Hey, what do you got against this pie guy anyway?"
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"Oh, come on, Chief."
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"Well yeah, but... (INTERRUPTING)"
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"Thanks to this clinic, we will no longer"
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"be terrorized by the spectacle"
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"Not so fast, old-time liberal."
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"(CROWD MUTTERING)"
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"Pie Man, no! It's a trap!"
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"But I'm not Homer Simpson! I'm the Pie Man!"
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"Homer Simpson away! I mean, the Pie Man!"
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"Oh, way to go, Lou. You hit him!"
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"Well, you are a jerk."
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"(PEOPLE SCREAMING) (GRUNTS)"
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"(STRAINING)"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"Let's see. Cartilage. Cartilage. Muscle. Nerve."
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"Artery. Bullet!"
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"(SIGHS IN RELIEF)"
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"Dad?"
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"I murdered your father."
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"Dad, please. It's obvious you're Pie Man."
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"We've been getting his mail for weeks."
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"Watch it. One more step. Welcome to my secret lair."
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