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Clips from The Simpsons - Simple Simpson (S15E15)

"on Fox, the home of Promiscuous idiots."
The Simpsons
"Tonight, we reveal a shocking secret."
The Simpsons
"Well, I'm afraid we misled you."
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"(GASPING)"
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"Get ready, skanks. Here comes the truth train!"
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"(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"I just want to get on that boat and go home!"
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"from loving life to your fork and knife?"
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"Would I?"
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"is seeing how it's made!"
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"Farmer Billy's travel bacon..."
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"I also sell handguns."
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"(KISSING)"
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"Mr. Simpson, please! I fear your smooches are premature."
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""This silver ticket entitles you""
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""to judge the pig competition at the Springfield County Fair.""
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"How about a bite of the world's biggest Brussels sprout?"
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"You may have heard of it. It's called America."
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"(SINGING) I could please Miss Barbra Streisand"
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"If you don't buy my record"
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"in the place-setting competition."
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"(FARTING)"
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"Did I do anything right?"
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"Lookee here, it wobbles."
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"Wobble, wobble, wobble..."
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"This table's about as solid as your underlying concept."
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"One more felony assault, Simpson, and you're going down."
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"We all know pi-R-squared."
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"But today, pie-are-justice. I welcome it."
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"Thank you, mysterious stranger. Where did he go?"
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"Shall we ever see Springfield's costumed protector again?"
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"Gee, I thought I had a bigger package than that."
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"(BART GROANS)"
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"Aw. Hey, let's turn that frown upside down."
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"This magazine you sold me isn't"
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"Finally, a superhero that kids can love."
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"I demand you reveal the identity of Fist Face!"
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"It's you! (GRUNTS)"
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"the police have organized a pie-for-guns exchange."
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"I'm gonna go turn the siren on. That always cheers me up."
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"Search me. Come back when you want a giant rack."
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"(HACKING)"
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"Okay, Lou. The minute Pie Man shows up, we spring our trap."
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"He's giving jerks their comeuppance."
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"Yeah, but he's skipping the hardest part of being a cop."
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"No, no one ever wants to hear about"
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"That's why Pie Man is going down."
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"(CACKLING)"
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"Get him!"
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"No trap can hold Homer Simpson..."
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"Shoot to kill!"
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"What, and that's positive, calling me a jerk?"
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"I'm not being trampled. What gives?"
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"(SIGHS)"
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"I'm looking up your nose, but I feel like I'm staring into your soul."
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"(THUNDER CRASHING)"
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"That was so exciting yet familiar, like Coke with lemon."
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"(MUTTERING HAPPILY)"
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"Mild-mannered Homer Simpson..."
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"Honorable men can differ."
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"(CHUCKLES) I was in so deep I forgot pies were food."
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"What?"
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"I'll keep my promise, honey."
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"No looking at pictures of loved ones!"
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"No angry grumbling under your breath!"
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"No, throw me! I'm old and stale! I might just kill him!"
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"Since when do I listen to cakes?"
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"Lisa would understand."
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"You're all so wise. I wish I could eat each and every one of you."
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"Behold, Smithers, your so-called Messiah."
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"I am Pie Man."
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"(GASPS) Simpson! You'll rue the day you took that pie tin,"
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"Silence!"
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"you will also serve as my personal hit man."
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"What if he started pie-ing good people?"
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"See?"
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"(DOORBELL CHIMING)"
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"Sorry."
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"(IMITATES BABY COOING)"
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"That's the only reason anyone came to this stupid thing!"
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"Homer Simpson is the Pie Man? Impossible."
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"You dumb-ass."
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"I'm telling you I'm the Pie Man."
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"Well, that closes the book on Pie Man."
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"Wait a minute. What?"
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"It's gonna be you if you don't shut up."
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"Me. I've known it all along."
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"Pie Man?"
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"And wherever Pie Man is, the Cupcake Kid will not be far behind."
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"MARGE: While you two are up on the roof,"
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"why don't you take the leaves out of the gutter!"
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"English - US - PSDH"
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"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
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"D'oh!"
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"Last week on Pll, our billionaire bachelor"
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"gave five lovely ladies a rose of continuation."
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"displaying intelligence, character, or ethnicity."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"Ladies, when you were selected,"
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"you were told that you'd be dating"
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"a billionaire on his private island."
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"This isn't an island. It's a peninsula."
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"(GASPING) This was supposed to be about trust!"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"(WAILING)"
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"Yeah."
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"What do those women expect?"
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"When you sign a contract with Fox,"
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"you know you're gonna be betrayed and humiliated."
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"Quiet! The commercial's on!"
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"Do you love that sweet smell of Farmer Billy's bacon?"
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"Do I ever?"
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"Would you like to see how a pig goes"
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"Well, if you open up one of these here packages"
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"and find a golden ticket, you get a tour"
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"(COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER READING)"
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"FARMER BILLY: You'll see the hoof grinder, the marrow sluice,"
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"and of course, the five-story pig shredder blessed by three popes."
The Simpsons
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