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Clips from Friends - The One with the Monkey (S01E01)

"That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?"
Friends
"Oh, he is precious. Where did you get him?"
Friends
"My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab."
Friends
"ROSS: Hey, Joe. - So how'd it go?"
Friends
"He's not even jolly. It's all political."
Friends
"Gee, what? What is wrong with New Year's?"
Friends
"Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand..."
Friends
"That my mom was dead in the kitchen?"
Friends
"Are resting in a little yellow jar"
Friends
"And I said, yeah, I liked her in Splash, but not so much in Wall Street."
Friends
"I think that guy's going home with more than a note."
Friends
"...I mean, he had already named both my breasts."
Friends
"I'm not saying it was a good idea. I'm saying I snapped."
Friends
"Must mock Joey."
Friends
"I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean."
Friends
"And you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me."
Friends
"Sure. Yeah."
Friends
"And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella."
Friends
"I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body."
Friends
"[SHOUTS]"
Friends
"- You want me to actually throw you...? - I can hop."
Friends
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no room for milk."
Friends
"- Uh, four. - Four."
Friends
"Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. Ha, ha."
Friends
"What juggling thing?"
Friends
"So when do you leave?"
Friends
"Hello?"
Friends
"Tell her, David."
Friends
""I don't want to go to Minsk to work with Lipson and Yamaguchi and Flank."
Friends
"So you're really not going?"
Friends
"- Oh, don't do that. - Please?"
Friends
"No, but I'm asking you. I can't make a decision."
Friends
"MONICA: Hi. - Hi, I'm Sandy."
Friends
"And then your face exploded?"
Friends
"I was at the airport getting into a cab..."
Friends
"Oh! Everybody having fun at the party?"
Friends
"You got away from me."
Friends
"Hey, Fun Bobby. How's it going, man?"
Friends
"It's going to be an open casket, you know?"
Friends
"I've decided to go to Minsk without you."
Friends
"...but it will still be Minsk."
Friends
"Happy New Year."
Friends
"No, I'm not going to Minsk."
Friends
"You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just because of me."
Friends
"And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go..."
Friends
"...but, uh, she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max, that scientist geek."
Friends
"CLARK [ON TV]: In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight."
Friends
"Everybody looks so happy. I hate that."
Friends
"Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby."
Friends
"I wanted this to work so much."
Friends
"But he's just phoning it in."
Friends
"Guys? There's, uh, somebody I'd like you to meet."
Friends
"[PHOEBE & RACHEL GASP]"
Friends
"Wait, wait. What is that?"
Friends
"No. No, I don't."
Friends
"That is so cruel."
Friends
"Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?"
Friends
"Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass."
Friends
"Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?"
Friends
"Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left, so..."
Friends
"Why don't you just get a roommate?"
Friends
"Ah, I don't know. You reach a certain age..."
Friends
"...having a roommate is just kind of pathe..."
Friends
"Uh, sorry, that's "pathet," which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live.""
Friends
"You guys, I'm doing all-new material tonight."
Friends
"I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide..."
Friends
"...and one about a snowman."
Friends
"Might want to open with the snowman."
Friends
"GROUP: Hey, Joey. - Hey."
Friends
"Ah, I didn't get the job."
Friends
"[GROUP GROANS]"
Friends
"How could you not get it? You were Santa last year."
Friends
"I don't know. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager."
Friends
"So, what are you gonna be?"
Friends
"I'm gonna be one of his helpers."
Friends
"It's just such a slap in the face, you know?"
Friends
"Do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's?"
Friends
"[GROUP SHOUTING]"
Friends
"Nothing for you. You have Paolo."
Friends
"You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday..."
Friends
"...desperate scramble to find anything with lips..."
Friends
"...just so can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops. Man, I'm talking loud."
Friends
"Well, for your information, Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's."
Friends
"Yeah, you wish."
Friends
"It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday."
Friends
"I say this year, no dates, we make a pact."
Friends
"Just the six of us. Dinner."
Friends
"- Sure. - Fine."
Friends
"You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm."
Friends
"- Woo! - Okay."
Friends
"- Phoebe, you're on. - Oh. Oh, good."
Friends
"...Miss Phoebe Buffay."
Friends
"[CROWD CHEERING]"
Friends
"Thanks. Hi."
Friends
"Um, ahem, I want to start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year."
Friends
"[SINGING] I made a man with eyes of coal"
Friends
"And a smile so bewitchin'"
Friends
"How was I supposed to know"
Friends
"La-la-la"
Friends
"My mother's ashes"
Friends
"Even her eyelashes"
Friends
"- And sometimes when it's freezing DAVID: I'm being honest here."
Friends
"You don't agree."
Friends
"- I feel a little sneezy MAX: You're right."
Friends
"And now I... Excuse me? Excuse me?"
Friends
"Yeah, noisy boys."
Friends
"Is it something that you'd like to share with the group?"
Friends
"No. No, that's okay."
Friends
"Come on, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing..."
Friends
"...then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear."
Friends
"That guy's going home with a note."
Friends
"[CLEARS THROAT]"
Friends
"- Nothing. I was just saying... - Could you speak up?"
Friends
"Sorry."
Friends
"I was just saying to my friend, you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen."
Friends
"- And you said Daryl Hannah... - Darryl Hannah."
Friends
"...was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life."
Friends
"- I thought she had a hard quality. - A hard quality."
Friends
"And, uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way..."
Friends
"...you are, uh, luminous with a kind of delicate grace."
Friends
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