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Clips from Veep - Convention (S04E04)

"And I always refer them to the same passage of the Good Book."
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"The Scriptures."
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""Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.""
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"- Good. - But I'm happy to serve my country"
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"- and to help out my mom. - That's very good, yes."
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"- I love you, Mom. - Oh, no, honey."
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"You've got to say it like you mean it, though, darling."
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"It's so easy. It's like, "I love you, Mom."
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"- I love you." - Well, not like that."
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"There are great changes coming for this nation and my own life, too."
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"Last year I met a boy called Jason."
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"I haven't been carded for years. Like, three years."
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"I just... I don't know if this is gonna play well."
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"You know what? I started to feel that way myself."
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"It's a convention. People love this shit."
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"How could it not play well? We're in love."
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"- Yeah, it might play well. - It could."
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"- I think it might. - Mm-hmm."
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"I cannot take Karen anymore."
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"It's been weeks and she has yet to speak a declarative sentence."
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"Lawyers tend to cover their bases."
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"I know that from my car accident."
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"With a lawyer."
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"You know, like living next to a highway."
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"Last year I met a guy called Jason and we fell in love."
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"All right, sweetheart, it doesn't sound like you're in love to me."
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"It sounds like you've been kidnapped by the Taliban."
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"- Exactly. - And we're going to get married."
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"So I'd like to introduce you to Jason."
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"Come on out, honey."
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"- It sounds like you're angry. - I am angry!"
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"Well, that's why you sound like you're angry."
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"Good, conceal it."
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"If you eat a zucchini anywhere in mainland North America,"
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"there's a 20% chance it's one of my zucchini."
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"I practically photosynthesize."
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"Next year I want 24%."
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"Well, listen, Dan here is the man."
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"He's fresh from the White House,"
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"he's got a Rolodex as crammed"
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"as a drug mule's poop pocket."
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"so any big dogs you can get me in a room with today?"
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"That's gonna be tricky."
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"Everyone's out of town for the convention,"
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"Flex that Rolodex, pal."
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"You ever hear of Jonah Ryan?"
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"- No. - Old buddy of mine. We go way back."
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"Love that guy. I can get you in a room with him today."
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"All right, listen. Enough business, let's eat."
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"Okay? But probably not fucking zucchini, right?"
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"I'd like to introduce you to Jason."
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"Come on out, honey."
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"Okay, and now a kiss."
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"- Oh! That needs work. - That needs work."
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"- Which part? - All of it."
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"- How hard is it to kiss somebody? - I know."
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"Do I need to demonstrate this?"
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"- No. - No."
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"Okay, he can practice the walk on his own time."
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"We really need to look at the president's speech now."
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"Hey, human emotion, you can't rush it."
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"It's not a precise science, Amy."
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"All sciences are precise. That's what science means."
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"That's open to interpretation."
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"Ma'am, there's a death row inmate in Louisiana."
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"Ugh, sounds good."
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"He was given a new drug cocktail,"
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"but it didn't work, so basically he's not dead."
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"- Yeah, he's been Awful."
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"Happens to chickens a lot."
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"Well, some might say that we're being slightly headless ourselves."
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"We really need to focus on your speech."
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"Right. Do you think we should issue a statement or..."
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"He dies, he doesn't die, or whatever."
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"So it's true."
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"They hacked the data of thousands of dead kids"
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"to directly target bereaved parents with this charming mailer."
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"Wow, dead kids... That never sounds good"
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"unless you're a stressed-out single mom."
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"This and they polled against me? That's it, I'm out."
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"No, sir, that's the wrong move. You can't..."
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"There's only one midget I'm gonna let tell me what to do,"
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"and I'm gonna go tell her that I'm done."
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"She doesn't have time to replace you."
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"What's she gonna do, pin a dick on Gary and give him the job?"
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"I mean, that's more than enough time in politics."
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"No, wait a minute, it's not. Tough shitski."
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"join me"
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"- Ma'am. - Yeah?"
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"I have a useful college friend in the enemy camp"
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"with a small brain and a big mouth."
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"She says that Senator O'Brien's running mate"
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"is going to be Laura Montez."
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"- Montez? - Yeah."
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"New Mexico senator Laura Montez?"
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"- Mm-hmm. - She's brilliant."
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"She's pretty. She's charming."
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"She's fucking ethnic!"
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"This is Latinageddon."
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"Apparently he's vomiting black bile."
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"- Well, I don't even care. - This is such a bold move."
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"It's clever. It's a really bold move."
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"- Yes, that's what I said. - All right."
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"There's nothing on the Internet about Montez"
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"except for the usual Photoshopped nudity."
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"He gets sexy Mexi. What am I stuck with?"
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"- Doyle? - Steve Martin's boring older brother."
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"I mean, it doesn't make any sense to say this,"
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"but, I mean, I really, really wish we could get rid of Doyle."
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"That would totally fuck up that fiesta of theirs, wouldn't it?"
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"- Even more than usual. - Hi, Andrew."
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"Ma'am, we need to have one of those one-on-one conversations."
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"- Uh-huh. - You know, the kind that you promised"
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"- we'd have once a week. - Oh, snarky."
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"Okay, yeah. Let's go have a talk in the bedroom."
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"Oh, I don't care. Oh, fuck it."
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"- So, what's... - Hear me out, Selina."
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"I regret to inform you that I'm stepping off the ticket."
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"- What? - I will stay on as veep through the inauguration."
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"Then I am getting in my Dodge and I'm getting the hell out of Dodge."
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