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Clips from Veep - First Response (S02E02)

"And yet you said it was going to be a long process."
Veep
"And it was, yeah. It was."
Veep
"Were you involved in the--"
Veep
"Janet, it's like when you loosen a pickle jar"
Veep
"and somebody comes by and they just open it."
Veep
"- The pickle jar loosener. - I like it."
Veep
"I can and I also want to eat some lunch."
Veep
"- Mm-hmm, definitely. - Yeah, let's get some lunch."
Veep
"That's a cut. Yeah, I think that's a cut."
Veep
"- Lunchtime. - That's a cut."
Veep
"- Okay, she doesn't-- - Oh, my God, she didn't know."
Veep
"I am so attracted to you right now."
Veep
"I think that I'd like to just sit back"
Veep
"- Pretend I'm not here. - Mm-hmm."
Veep
"I kind of want to be the fly on a wall."
Veep
"Oh, my God. Andrew, that's getting everywhere."
Veep
"Um, I'm gonna get you a..."
Veep
"peeler, okay?"
Veep
"- Yeah, you need a peeler. - Actually, I don't."
Veep
"Where-- I'm trying to remember where--"
Veep
"you know how sometimes you have something in your kitchen,"
Veep
"And that is what's happened to me right now."
Veep
"Okay, I don't know where--"
Veep
"Do you ever have this happen to you where you're--"
Veep
"- I'm not here. - Okay, you're not here. I'm so sorry."
Veep
"I'm talking to myself. Where are you, peeler?"
Veep
"Okay, I got it."
Veep
"It was in with the napkins inexplicably."
Veep
"Actually, I'm all done. I'm good."
Veep
"- Okay. - Tell me, don't you normally have staff"
Veep
"- to cater for you? - Yeah, definitely."
Veep
"Well, sure, but I just love banging the pots around."
Veep
"And I think you would say that I'm a foodie."
Veep
"So, just to flag with you,"
Veep
"Andrew's obviously off the table."
Veep
"Well, technically he's very much at the table currently."
Veep
"Herb roasted chicken"
Veep
"and some arugula salad."
Veep
"The vegetables are always my favorite."
Veep
"I just love vegetables so much."
Veep
"Are you working for the vegetable lobby?"
Veep
"I'll be right back."
Veep
"I realize there are more carrots."
Veep
"We don't need any more."
Veep
"- which as you know I spearheaded. - Yes."
Veep
"As I launched that campaign, I discovered"
Veep
"And..."
Veep
"grass-fed..."
Veep
"Grass-fed cattle"
Veep
"- and free-range chickens. - Yeah. Yeah."
Veep
"that my mom and dad make."
Veep
"Yep."
Veep
"Okay, well, they're taking a break,"
Veep
"so this gives us a chance to come in here, have a little chat."
Veep
"You never told me that you were a vegetarian."
Veep
"- I told you three months ago. - No, you didn't, Catherine."
Veep
"- I think it does sound familiar. - Completely useless."
Veep
"You know what? Just because he's a liability"
Veep
"doesn't mean you have to be a liability, too."
Veep
"Now I'm gonna tell you something. You're eating that chicken."
Veep
"I am not gonna do it. I'm a vegetarian, Mom."
Veep
"You swallowed chicken your entire life."
Veep
"I swallowed your bullshit my entire life."
Veep
"Okay, look, little lady, we don't talk to your mother like that."
Veep
"You know when you're 12 and you just get rid of it?"
Veep
"No. Speak for yourself."
Veep
"It's gonna look really bad for your mom"
Veep
"I'm not gonna sacrifice my morals for her career anymore."
Veep
"- It looks delicious. - Yeah."
Veep
"I love it when Dad cooks."
Veep
"- A man of hidden talents. - I don't like to brag."
Veep
"- Wow. - Eat that up."
Veep
"And the Andrew e-mail story was not agreed."
Veep
"Sweetheart, it's news."
Veep
"Okay? It happened today. It's new with an S on it."
Veep
"That's just what news is."
Veep
"With all due respect, this is not news."
Veep
"This is the fucking Food Channel you got here."
Veep
"Okay, well, with all due respect, fuck you."
Veep
"that you connected yourself to, not me, you little gremlin."
Veep
"And has it been a happy divorce for you, Catherine?"
Veep
"Mmm, yeah."
Veep
"I think knowing that my mom"
Veep
"had to be available 24 hours a day"
Veep
"really taught me not to be too demanding as a child."
Veep
"That's true."
Veep
"So you don't feel parentally shortchanged, then,"
Veep
"I'm actually a big music fan,"
Veep
"so I usually try to explain my parents in terms of music."
Veep
"You know, musicians sometimes are better in bands"
Veep
"They're like the Beatles, you know, better as a band"
Veep
"or Michael Jackson, better solo."
Veep
"Although not a great parent, admittedly."
Veep
"Well, actually, he did okay with his own kids."
Veep
"It's when other kids got involved that it got real dicey."
Veep
"and you're never, ever gonna get the veep on camera again."
Veep
"you'd shut your mouth!"
Veep
"- You-- you-- - Okay, okay."
Veep
"You do not know anything about me."
Veep
"Yeah, having 10,000 interests screaming in your fucking face"
Veep
"- I am fucking good at this. - Can we just put a filter--"
Veep
"- Are you? This is good? - Fuck your face, Gary."
Veep
"- She's good at this, you guys. Sorry. - Fuck my face. You hear that?"
Veep
"Antique windows. Bring it down."
Veep
"- What the fuck just happened? - Antique windows. Bring it down."
Veep
"Amy, let's go find your dignity over here, okay?"
Veep
"Get her out of here. Fucking amateur."
Veep
"- All right. All right. - Hey, no, no, no, no."
Veep
"- No, seriously-- - No. Whoa, okay."
Veep
"Look, I've graphed her performance, okay?"
Veep
"Here's time, here's her fucking career."
Veep
"because she didn't barf her food all over the table, I don't know."
Veep
"So if she doesn't turn this fucking shit-show around, guess what,"
Veep
"I don't know which way I'm gonna bounce."
Veep
"Amy, when my memaw used to find herself getting snappy,"
Veep
"she would sing her favorite song."
Veep
"♪ Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton ♪"
Veep
"♪ Old times there were not forgotten ♪"
Veep
"♪ Look away, look away ♪"
Veep
"- ♪ Look away, Dixieland. ♪ - No, guys, please."
Veep
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