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Clips from 30 Rock - The Rural Juror (S01E01)

"- You mean John Grisham? - Oh, no. Kevin. John's brother."
30 Rock
"Did you know that before Kevin was a novelist,"
30 Rock
"he worked at a recycling centre?"
30 Rock
"Boy, these titles. They really make you think."
30 Rock
"Doesn't it seem like just yesterday we were doing the show back in Chicago,"
30 Rock
"dreaming about being in the movies?"
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"We've come a long way from that apartment we shared in Little Armenia."
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"Do you remember that neighbourhood festival where they killed a goat in the street?"
30 Rock
"Yes! But we did have really good luck that year."
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"He was a carpenter. He wanted everyone to love one another."
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"Miguel from set design. He's over there."
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"I'm trying to avoid Jenna. She gave me a screener of her movie."
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"- And? - Oh, Pete, it's awful."
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"I couldn't believe how bad it was."
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"Although I guess it's no surprise that Tony Hawk can't play blind."
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"- So you must know the title. - Yes! "The Rural Juror.""
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"- "The - Rural."
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"So what are you gonna do about Jenna?"
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"think of one thing nice to say and then hug her."
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"- So, what did you think? - Oh, my God. You looked so beautiful."
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"The lighting was really neat."
30 Rock
"Ethan and I both thought the programs were really easy to read."
30 Rock
"So, what nice thing are you gonna say about "The Roaring Junior"'?"
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"Oh, I don't know. It's a mess."
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"Donaghy, stop what you're doing, 'cause I'm about to blow your mind."
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"Hit it!"
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"Tired of your sandwich making you angry?"
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"Then behold... the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine!"
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"Stick any three meats, whatever you want..."
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"bologna, salami, boar... whatever..."
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"and she will melt them all together into one delicious food ball."
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"Never again will you have to suffer through the bread part of your sandwich."
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"Well, it's certainly not the worst celebrity-product idea I've ever heard."
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"We'll roll it out in time for Christmas, manufacture it for 4 bucks,"
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"slap your name on it, and sell it for $50."
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"So G.E. will produce the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine'?"
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"G.E. could never make something so... unique."
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"We'll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries."
30 Rock
"You see, G.E. owns KitchenAll of Colorado,"
30 Rock
"which in turn owns JMI of Stanford,"
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"which is a majority shareholder in pokerfastlane.com,"
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"Jack Donaghy, you are the best."
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"You know what? I'm gonna make you a mix tape."
30 Rock
"You like Phil Collins?"
30 Rock
"I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?"
30 Rock
"All right. Jenna's on next."
30 Rock
"Everyone shut up so we can hear the title of this stupid movie."
30 Rock
"And coming up,"
30 Rock
"I'll be talking to "The Girlie Show" star Jenna Maroney"
30 Rock
"about her upcoming project, "The Rur Jur.""
30 Rock
"That is not helpful."
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"Oh, yeah. She gave me a screener."
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"So it's bad."
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"How bad? Please! Just give us one detail."
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"OK, fine."
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"Jenna plays a Southern lawyer named Constance Justice."
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"- You got to let us see this. - No."
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"- Come on, Liz! - No!"
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"Good stuff."
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"Oh, excuse me. Hey. There you are."
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"So, what did you think of the movie?"
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"What? Oh. Um, you were good."
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"Your face was very expressive."
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"And another cool pan was... the trees."
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"- I got to get back to work. - You didn't like the movie."
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"What? Yes. I just said I liked the movie."
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"No, you didn't. You did that condescending compliment thing you always do."
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"What? When have I ever done that?"
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"Oh, my God. You looked beautiful."
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"The lighting was really neat."
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"Ethan and I both thought the programs were really easy to read."
30 Rock
"Look, Liz, for once, be honest with me. I want your real opinion."
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"I thought the story was preposterous,"
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"I thought the acting was way over the top,"
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"and I thought it was about an hour too long."
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"It's only 90 minutes."
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"A train wreck? OK."
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"I'm not trying to be a jerk here. You asked me for my opinion."
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"Yeah. No. No. I understand. Thank you."
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"I wasn't kidding about how cool those trees were, though."
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"What were they, oaks?"
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"Damn it. Where are my car keys?"
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"Jack, Tracy. What can I do for you?"
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"We have a product we want you to give a medical endorsement to."
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"Say no more. If it's giving people meat, then I'm on board."
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"I've always said humans need more animal blood."
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"- It keeps the spine straight. - We appreciate it, Leo."
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"You boys need anything while you're here... some reds, yellows?"
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"- Just got some purples in from Peru. - No, I'm good."
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"Well, it would be rude not to take one or two."
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"Now, "The Rural Juror" is the true story of Roy Jerner,"
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"whose pure furore ensures a terrible murder."
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"Excuse me. Meg."
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"I feel like I'm getting further away from it."
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"Hey. Last night I broke into Liz's office."
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"- I got Jenna's movie. - How'd you get in there?"
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"Her last two Google searches were for "singles yoga" and "scalp pain.""
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"Man, that's disappointing."
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"I had to let Tony watch me pee to get that tape."
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"What?"
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"- Hey, you wanted to see me. - I don't want to wear the Paris Hilton nose."
30 Rock
"You have to wear the nose. There's a lot of jokes in the sketch about it."
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"Oh, I see. We're not talking about the nose. We're talking about the movie."
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"You're wrong about it. it's getting some very positive early reviews."
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"Teenmoviescene.com gave it five out of five iPods."
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"Jenna, believe what you want. I'm your friend. I'm telling you the truth."
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"Please. Here's what's really going on."
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"- And now you're taking it out on me. - Oh, come on."
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"- Really? - Really."
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"Really?"
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"Well, Jenna, I'm sorry you feel that way."
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"- What the hell? - Oh, God. I'm sorry."
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"I didn't know there was a person in there."
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"not to stand in my eye line while I'm rehearsing, please?"
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"Pete, could you tell Jenna she smells like a stripper?"
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"So, are you guys still fighting?"
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"We've reached kind of an understanding."
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"I'm writing impressions for her that she can't do."
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"You guys can't go on like this. You have to apologize to her."
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"Liz, I can't have the head writer and one of the stars of the show fighting."
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