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Clips from Family Guy - The Former Life of Brian (S06E06)

"- Well, yeah, why not? - You need more than that."
Family Guy
"- Really? - We'll do all the tricks."
Family Guy
"- You can split me in half. - What?"
Family Guy
"- Saw me in half. - I am still shaky on some of this stuff."
Family Guy
"- I guess I could use the help. - Great."
Family Guy
"We'll get you a wand, a top hat and a cape."
Family Guy
"You can use Peter's cape from last year's Halloween costume."
Family Guy
"Hi, Brian. I'm Count Crotchula, the bulging vampire."
Family Guy
"See that bulge down there, Brian? What is that? What is it?"
Family Guy
"Can't be my pointy teeth because those are all the way up here."
Family Guy
"Happy Halloween."
Family Guy
"I can't believe I agreed to four costume changes."
Family Guy
"Brian, thanks so much for doing this."
Family Guy
"Paul and I are so excited to see your act."
Family Guy
"- Paul, this is Brian. - Boyfrie... Oh, come on."
Family Guy
"- Yeah. - And I'm a great guy. I'm unemployed."
Family Guy
"Our relationship will do fine on that basis."
Family Guy
"If he had his shit together, I wouldn't be into it."
Family Guy
"Is this the show?"
Family Guy
"You know what? The hell with both of you. I'm out of here."
Family Guy
"Are we doing this thing or what? Brian? Brian?"
Family Guy
"Like trying to tell Matthew McConaughey how much he sucks."
Family Guy
"...so I just wanna get this off my chest."
Family Guy
"You are just awful."
Family Guy
"Oh, thanks, man. The truth is, I spend at least 90 percent of my year..."
Family Guy
"...just doing sit-ups. And then counting money."
Family Guy
"You're not hearing me."
Family Guy
"Dazed and Confused was the one thing that was passable. After that..."
Family Guy
"After that, everything else was awful."
Family Guy
"- Could've done the movie without you. - I said the same thing."
Family Guy
"...to provide some down-home enthusiasm in this picture. ""
Family Guy
"It didn't make sense."
Family Guy
"Said the same thing about that Bill Murray elephant movie..."
Family Guy
"You make me physically sick to my stomach."
Family Guy
"I wish you would get a heart attack."
Family Guy
"I totally feel you, man. Truth of the matter is..."
Family Guy
"...I don't like my movies either, but they just keep offering me money."
Family Guy
"I do it, I get to go around the world. I mean, did you see Sahara? Ha, ha."
Family Guy
"That movie gave me an opportunity to take an Airstream across the country..."
Family Guy
"- You suck donkey ass. - Hey, you can't prove that."
Family Guy
"Look at all the stuff I put myself through just to get laid."
Family Guy
"Oh, don't worry. One day, you'll find your soul mate."
Family Guy
"The sad thing is, I already did, years ago."
Family Guy
"You should look her up."
Family Guy
"- Am I boring you? - No, it's just... Long day."
Family Guy
"Well, I suppose I could look her up. I wonder if she'd even wanna see me."
Family Guy
"I wasn't exactly the nicest guy in the world."
Family Guy
"And then in high school, I was violated sexually by my father."
Family Guy
"It happened on numerous occasions. I was afraid to tell anyone..."
Family Guy
"...because I felt like somehow it was my fault."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Brian Griffin, is that you?"
Family Guy
"So to get out of here, I just make a left out of the driveway..."
Family Guy
"From the look of those toenails, I bet it's that little Lamasil monster."
Family Guy
"Brian, this is Dylan."
Family Guy
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry."
Family Guy
"Gosh, this is a lovely home, Tracy."
Family Guy
"That's so weird. It smells like there's a cat, but I bet there's no cat."
Family Guy
"My God, this is more uncomfortable than the goodbye in The Wizard of Oz."
Family Guy
"- Goodbye, Lion. - Goodbye, Dorothy."
Family Guy
"And I think I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow."
Family Guy
"Oh, okay. That's kind of an odd thing to say."
Family Guy
"Yeah, a weird comment in front of all of us."
Family Guy
"Really glad I risked my life and everything."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you're five minutes from gone, and you leave with that?"
Family Guy
"And that's how we'll remember you, as a big fart."
Family Guy
"Goodbye, big fart."
Family Guy
"So, Dylan, um..."
Family Guy
"- Shouldn't you be in school? - I don't know."
Family Guy
"Nice kid. Now that I think about it..."
Family Guy
"...how can you possibly have a 13-year-old son..."
Family Guy
"...when you yourself are only 7."
Family Guy
"You know what? If you don't like it, go on the Internet and complain."
Family Guy
"I couldn't get out of there fast enough."
Family Guy
"Your life would've been more miserable than a widow..."
Family Guy
"What did I just say? I'm calling the police."
Family Guy
"I don't know, Brian. Don't you think you have a responsibility to your son?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois. I didn't even know I had a son until today."
Family Guy
"Yeah, seemed like they're all set."
Family Guy
"She's done a fine job creating a child-friendly environment..."
Family Guy
"Great parenting."
Family Guy
"You know what else is rewarding? Shutting your vag."
Family Guy
"- What? - What?"
Family Guy
"Dylan?"
Family Guy
"- What are you doing here? - My mom wanted me to give you this."
Family Guy
""To Brian, from Tracy. He's your problem now."
Family Guy
"P.S. Will you write me a letter of recommendation..."
Family Guy
"No. No, I'm not gonna put myself on the line."
Family Guy
"Dylan is gonna be staying with us for a while."
Family Guy
"Dylan, it's so nice to meet you."
Family Guy
"- Shut up, bitch. - Oh, he got you, Lois."
Family Guy
"He could sleep in Stewie's room. Would you like that, sweetie?"
Family Guy
"- Hi, Dylan. - All this stuff in here is mine now."
Family Guy
"Oh, well..."
Family Guy
"...because that's where the evil monkey lives."
Family Guy
"- Something on your mind, son? - Shut up. You're just a fat, old bastard."
Family Guy
"Well, not to get technical, sir, but you are the bastard."
Family Guy
"If I had a gun, I would kill you all."
Family Guy
"Did you hear that? Now we know what to get him for Christmas."
Family Guy
"Oh, I love the holidays."
Family Guy
"Brian, you have got to get Dylan under control."
Family Guy
"He's terrorizing the whole family."
Family Guy
"...that isn't funny or memorable."
Family Guy
"And each time my foot hits the ground, I shall say, "Boing, boing, boing. ""
Family Guy
"Hey, Dylan? Hey, come on in here for a sec."
Family Guy
"Stewie, why are you nude?"
Family Guy
"Just a little something I do once a week around here..."
Family Guy
"...called a naked tea party."
Family Guy
"Got my teacup here. Now all I need is a tea bag."
Family Guy
"That something that interests you?"
Family Guy
"- Now take your fucking pants off. I'm out of here."
Family Guy
"Did you see that, Rupert?"
Family Guy
"Gee whiz."
Family Guy
"Lois, is the air conditioning on?"
Family Guy
"- Peter, we don't have air conditioning. - Well, that's awful peculiar."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Peter, look."
Family Guy
"Oh, damn it, Dylan. What the hell?"
Family Guy
"Well, thank God I'm full of Play-Doh."
Family Guy
"- There we are. - That's it."
Family Guy
"I'm telling Brian he has to rein Dylan in once and for all."
Family Guy
"It's time you lay down the law with him."
Family Guy
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