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Clips from Scrubs - My Therapeutic Month (S06E06)

"Turk?"
Scrubs
"and how I sometimes pass out when I poo,"
Scrubs
"he said I need someone to co-sign the lease."
Scrubs
"Awesome ceiling fan."
Scrubs
"Check out the hand skills."
Scrubs
"(GRUNTING)"
Scrubs
"That is awesome."
Scrubs
"Yeah, you want to see awesome? Turn it up."
Scrubs
"(CRUNCHING)"
Scrubs
"(SCREAMING)"
Scrubs
"- Turn it off! Turn it off! - This thing came off."
Scrubs
"This thing came off."
Scrubs
"He was a beautiful black blur."
Scrubs
"that would disagree with Brian Dancer when he said..."
Scrubs
"Head wounds suck."
Scrubs
"I mean, I feel better, but I still can't concentrate"
Scrubs
"and my motor skills are shot. Hell, I can't even write."
Scrubs
"ANNE: Hi, Brian."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God. It's an angel."
Scrubs
"That nasty burlesque dancer with syphilis"
Scrubs
"forgot her damn ostrich feathers."
Scrubs
"That was a weird one."
Scrubs
"It's a side-effect of his injury."
Scrubs
"It wasn't, but we'd been having fun since we came up with that."
Scrubs
"All right, Brian, what do you think we should set as a goal?"
Scrubs
"I want to be able to write my name by the end of the month."
Scrubs
"Yup, the next month was gonna be really difficult for a lot of us."
Scrubs
"See, this way, I will know if Keith and I have a future in a month."
Scrubs
"So, anyway, I can't do surgery for a month."
Scrubs
"Hey, Dr. Kelso, I was wondering,"
Scrubs
"how does one apply for paid disability leave?"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna have your babies so hard, baby."
Scrubs
"So, you're saying I'm going to be a medical attending for a month?"
Scrubs
"Attending? You don't have the training for that."
Scrubs
"You're going to be a resident again."
Scrubs
"Good morning, reasons why I drink."
Scrubs
"You may have noticed that we have a new face in our group."
Scrubs
"Oh, these glasses, they're not prescription,"
Scrubs
"but I figured I'd wear them so I could fit in with you medical geeks."
Scrubs
"Know what I'm saying?"
Scrubs
"Cool, a new black resident!"
Scrubs
"Oh, it's just Turk."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Turk! - What's happening, J.D.?"
Scrubs
"It's an occupational therapy pen. Brian can't hold small objects."
Scrubs
"I had an ex-girlfriend who had the same problem."
Scrubs
"Kidding, no she didn't. That's... That's awkward."
Scrubs
"Brian, such foul language should never be uttered in front of a lady"
Scrubs
"I have another appointment."
Scrubs
"- Right? - Man, why don't you just ask her out?"
Scrubs
"Brian, expertly flirting is one thing,"
Scrubs
"plus I'm a tent-dwelling poop-fainter who can't drive."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, that was amazing."
Scrubs
"- I know. Were you thinking about me? - Totally. Were you thinking about me?"
Scrubs
"Oh, babe."
Scrubs
"Sweetie? This is actually my grandmother's coffee table,"
Scrubs
"so if you could just use coaster from now on."
Scrubs
"You would not believe the stuff I had to put up with"
Scrubs
"Do you know what I caught him doing in bed,"
Scrubs
"even though I was sleeping right next to him?"
Scrubs
"Hot wing?"
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)"
Scrubs
"Not us. He doesn't even mind sleeping in separate rooms."
Scrubs
"You can live in separate states,"
Scrubs
"but if you're doing the nasty before you get married,"
Scrubs
"your ass is gonna burn."
Scrubs
"Okay, kids, time to put the spotlight on Mr. Cocky-Pants."
Scrubs
"Does she live upstairs from you?"
Scrubs
"I think you have seen her before..."
Scrubs
"Still waiting."
Scrubs
"- Antinuclear antibody test. - Anti-something, something test."
Scrubs
"as a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks."
Scrubs
"so we can pick up your slack. You cut and run, if you will."
Scrubs
"That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bow ties."
Scrubs
"or in your case, Rex, Moko the Samoan Bird King,"
Scrubs
"Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy."
Scrubs
"I don't understand why you're so devoted to that guy."
Scrubs
"(SCOFFS)"
Scrubs
"I just found out that my great, great, great grandfather"
Scrubs
"I'm bringing back the look to honor his memory."
Scrubs
"That happened once, but no, this is just how I grow facial hair."
Scrubs
"It starts out patchy, then it gloriously erupts, you'll see."
Scrubs
"When this fills in, this look's gonna spread like wildfire."
Scrubs
"Physical therapy is too hard. I'm getting nowhere."
Scrubs
"I know you're scared, but you gotta stick with it."
Scrubs
"That means a lot coming from someone who's scared to ask girls out on dates."
Scrubs
"Never gonna happen, Q-Tip."
Scrubs
"- Kelso just had his car washed. - I'm on it."
Scrubs
"What did I eat last night?"
Scrubs
"Wow, everything's unpacked. Your stuff looks great, by the way."
Scrubs
"You mean her stuff. She wouldn't let me put up my stuff."
Scrubs
"(SHUSHING)"
Scrubs
"What do you mean we're great? We haven't had box sex in days."
Scrubs
"- No, it wasn't. - You're supposed to be my best friend!"
Scrubs
"Elliot, you gotta cut each other a little bit of slack."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God!"
Scrubs
"How hard is it for you to use a fricking coaster,"
Scrubs
"What... Calm down, all right? So I forget once in a while."
Scrubs
"Oh, "Once in a while"?"
Scrubs
"ELLIOT: There."
Scrubs
"You know, Dr. Cox, I wouldn't mind all the crap you've been giving me"
Scrubs
"Because you can't."
Scrubs
"if you just shut up and stay out of our way."
Scrubs
"Well, I thought this was our place."
Scrubs
"Still, my deal with Brian was to ask Anne out and he was watching,"
Scrubs
"- Was Papa Smurf the leader? - Yes."
Scrubs
"She said yes! We're going out Friday."
Scrubs
"(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"Done."
Scrubs
"Later, babe."
Scrubs
"Wow. Good first date, I take it."
Scrubs
"Okay, go."
Scrubs
"(SCREAMING)"
Scrubs
"(SCREAMS)"
Scrubs
"- Let's just say, "Kitty like to scratchy." - Oh, yeah, she does."
Scrubs
"Trying to keep it on the DL. That's how I roll."
Scrubs
"Now, Dr. Cox, there's gotta be something I can do to help."
Scrubs
"Well, now, Gandhi, since you don't grasp the fact"
Scrubs
"that I think you're incompetent..."
Scrubs
"Ladies and gentlemen, pay attention, please."
Scrubs
"I'm not committing the way I normally do."
Scrubs
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